Talk Show Twenty
by DayDreaminDeb
Summary: It's several weeks after Tank and Lula's wedding and Stephanie is back in Trenton. Ranger and Stephs wedding is a secret, or is it? Who wants Steph dead and why? And the fish, what about the fish? What's with Brenda? Rated for language & sexual content
1. Chapter 1 Remembering

I apologize for taking so long to get this up. Real life interfered in really hard ways lately. But we persevere.

I do not own any character that Janet Evanovich in her brilliance has created. There are characters that I have personally created in the story and I do own them. I play with all characters indiscriminately and torture and tease equally. My thanks to Ms. Evanovich for allowing us to use her characters for our own sick pleasures. I make no recompense off of anything written here in either cash or trade.

Thank you for reading and enjoy.

My name is Stephanie Plum and I'm past 30. Let's just get that out of the way right off the bat. I'm over thirty. I'm over thirty and I'm almost okay with that considering that I haven't got any kids and a husband…oh wait, that's not completely true. I live alone and I'm married. Well, I'm sort of married. I mean legally I am married, but let's just say that happy ever after isn't looking like it's in the cards. I'm married to the love of my life Ricardo Carlos Manoso. He's my husband. He's also my boss. He and my friend Tank…or as his momma calls him Pierre Jean Luc Thibodeaux, own Rangeman where I am still, through no fault of my own, employed. Most people know him as Ranger. I usually call him Ranger. But he has a whole host of other names I've been calling him lately. Most aren't good in polite company. The thing about Ranger is that he's sort of a cross between the most gorgeous movie star you can imagine, the greatest hero you can imagine and Fidel Castro. Yea…it's a weird combination. I haven't actually ever called him Fidel to his face. I have a feeling it would piss him off.

We got married in Grand Cayman on the beach under the moonlight. Doesn't that sound romantic? Okay, what if I add that we were both drunk, does it still sound romantic? Nah, I didn't think so. But we obviously thought it was romantic enough to consummate. But then sex and romance often have very little to do with each other or so I've learned. Life, it turns out, isn't much like a Harlequin novel. Doesn't that bite the big one?

Now all of this is on top of the fact that one of my best friends married another of my best friends the next day on the adjacent beach. Yea, Tank and Lula tied the knot. They are happily married and spent their honeymoon in Paris. Actually I also spent their honeymoon in Paris. I just didn't spend it with them. You see I got home from their wedding cruise and I was still reeling from their wedding, my wedding, my parents moving to Boca, my grandmother trying to find a nudist colony in France that would take her and her boy toy Burt and then…to top it off, Rex died while I was gone. Rex, who was my faithful Hamster companion, had died and left me alone. You know, I'm sure there were bets down at Trenton Police Department on when I'd kill him. I bet it was a big shock to find out that I had nothing to do with it. Rex simply died of old age. So I did what any sane…relatively sane…okay whatever, I called my ex-boyfriend Brian and flew to France where he just happened to be with his brother and father before he headed to Australia. Brian loves and believes in me and offered me comfort when I needed it. Then he left me in his brother's capable hands and went to find himself.

Yea, I have a way of doing the worst possible thing to help my situation…at least, my marriage situation. Ranger probably wasn't happy about it.

He was probably even more pissed when I brought my ex-boyfriend's brother back with me from France. I like to think it would have pissed him off more if I'd brought Brian, but that's just me. Christian and his boyfriend Josef broke up just before I got to France. We commiserated while I was there over French bread, French pastries and French wine. Mostly it was French wine and trashing of our exes. Well, I mean mine's not legally an ex yet, but he says we'll get divorced but there's no hurry. Whatever! PS…it's not always the wisest combination to mix French wine and conversation about the men in your life who've really pissed you off. It can result in drunken transatlantic calls to your husband complaining about the stupidest things…or so I've been told. Anyway, I told Christian that he should come back to Trenton with me. I adored Christian and every girl needs a Christian in their life. Every girl needs a friend she can go shoe shopping with and share her every secret and someone who will only be catty to those who they both feel deserve it. Besides, we both have a thing for Ranger. It was meant to be.

So Christian moved into one of my spare bedrooms and I went back to work at Rangeman as though nothing had ever happened even though I was on pins and needles when I got back. I mean I thought I'd explode, but nothing happened. I mean nothing at all. It was as though we'd never been on the cruise and gotten married and talked about our divorce and I hadn't run away to France. We didn't talk about anything including our obviously ill-fated marriage. Life just continued on as normal. Does that suck or what? I mean seriously…the man hardly acknowledges that I exist much less that we're married. Maybe it doesn't suck. Maybe he sucks. Maybe I will call him Fidel to his face. The shit!

So that's why I'm in therapy. My therapist, Dr. Addison, who looks and sounds like Gary Sinise, says that instead of high-tailing it to France I probably should have given him a call and worked it out with him. Sigh. He's probably right. I mean he's a good therapist. I'm not even afraid of commitment anymore. I wish I could say the same for some other people. (Insert eye roll here.) Dr. Addison says that the fact that I ran away from the situation means that I don't want a divorce. Well…DUH! I could have told you that. But it's still nice to have it confirmed by a professional.

We worked through my feelings about Rex's loss. That was pretty big. He said not to hurry to replace him. I need to have time to grieve. He reminded me that I considered Rex to be the one constant man in my life. It's true, I did. He was the silent type, but I could tell he was listening to me. That's really all most women need. I'm thinking about getting a kitten next. It's just a thought. I'm not firm with it or anything. Besides, I've basically replaced him with Christian for now, only he talks back.

We've been working through my feelings about my parents moving to Florida. That's still a work in progress. I mean I've come a long way since I've been in therapy with my parent issues, but I admit there's still some distance to go. I love them. They love me. We don't always communicate well though. I do know I'm not ready for them to move a thousand miles away. But, in this case, I don't get to choose. For some reason they think I'm a grown up. I don't know where they got that insane idea. I suppose it's because I'm over thirty. They didn't find a place that suited their needs and desires on their first journey, but they're getting ready to head back down and look on the other coast. Whooohooo…not!

Then there's Grandma Mazur and her Burt. I actually hate to admit it since it sometimes seems their relationship is only sexual, but I kind of like Burt. He's good for her. She has even stopped carrying her gun. That's a big deal. I suppose there's not enough room in her purse for Viagra, sex oils and her gun. I'm going to have to think about which gives me the most nightmares. Well, maybe I'll just talk to Dr. Addison about that. I don't think I can stomach it on my own.

Valerie and Albert are doing great. They're even discussing having another child on the off chance that they'll have a boy. I wish them luck with that. Albert's law practice is finally taking off. He's changed his focus to child welfare and he's actually pretty good at it. He had to be good at something. Valarie is even staying home with the kids now and Albert is the bread winner. They're looking for a bigger house. Life is good for them and I don't even have to bring them up in therapy. I probably won't until Valerie becomes thinner than I am again.

Okay…I've probably gotten that out of my system for a couple of paragraphs. Let's get on with this story. I know you're not thinking this whole thing is going to be devoted to my 'relationship' (insert your own air quotes around that word and the required Jersey eye roll) with Ranger. Let's be real. I'm Stephanie Plum…er Stephanie Manoso and as it turns out murder and mayhem just follow me around like I'm the friggin angel of death. So…this is what happened.


	2. Chapter 2 How Long?

Janet owns the major characters, not me. I own what she doesn't. I make not a single thin dime or single Lindor Milk Chocolate Truffle off the whole thing... Oh, sorry, I got lost in thought.

* * *

I hadn't been back in Trenton a week yet when Lula called me hysterically and insisted that Christian and I meet her for lunch at Pinos. You know, I'm always willing to stop in the middle of the day and have some pizza. I'd be happier if I could wash it down with a Corona, but it's the middle of a workday and I have to see a client this afternoon. A girl can't have everything.

When we arrived I saw her immediately waving at me from a booth in the corner and we headed that way. I almost stopped completely when I saw who she was with. It was Brenda. Yea…I do mean _**THE **_Brenda. Most people would probably be excited to see a superstar…even a 'has been' superstar…at their local watering hole, but I have a history with ole Brenda. She was at one time a bane of my existence. She also kept putting her hands on Ranger. If she tried it today I might have to take my MRS title out on her. It wouldn't be pretty.

Brenda reminded me of Bette Midler without the class. She had the same basic facial structure. She had the same curly hair only Brenda's was always a brassy blond. She was also bosomy like Bette. But where Bette grew out of her slutty stage, Brenda just never did. She was also pushing fifty, if not older. Nobody actually knew how old she was. Her birth certificate had somehow just disappeared years ago. I wonder how much that costs…just for future reference.

"Hi," I swallowed and smiled. "Hi Brenda, long time no see."

"Shhh, I'm incognito," she said adjusting her scarf and sunglasses.

"Right," I nodded and slid into the booth beside her. "Lula…you remember Christian. Brenda this is my friend Christian Goodman."

"You have lovely skin," Brenda said leaning over and tilting her sunglasses so she could see Christian better. "You have great style too. Tell me you're gay. I'd love it if you were gay. I need a stylist for my new show."

"I do happen to be gay," he said with a smile. "You're using too much astringent. You need to moisturize more. We'll start with that."

"You're hired," she said. "When can you start?"

"I can start now."

"Fabulous," she nodded. "Lula is my assistant. She'll make sure you fill out the paperwork and get you added to the payroll. Now all I need is security."

"Er…," I swallowed and glanced over my shoulder at the door in panic.

"Ranger said no," she raised a brow at me. "Can you believe it?"

Not only could I believe it, I would have murdered him personally if he'd said yes. She'd been a real pain in the ass when we'd dealt with her before. There were several occasions when I thought about killing her myself.

She sighed, "It's not that I really need protection these days. But I do need to travel with an entourage. I have to keep up appearances and I have the money to do it so why the hell not. So I need a driver and security. All I really need is a big guy who can scare people."

"Like Sally," I nodded absently.

"Oh girl," Lula grinned. "Sally is perfect. Brenda…how do you feel if security is in drag?"

She shrugged, "won't bother me. It might even make him a little more frightening to some."

She really had no idea. Salvatore 'Sally' Sweet wasn't a good looking man and he was an even more unattractive woman. He was tall and all angles and he usually needed a shave five seconds after his last one. But he was good people, so it couldn't hurt.

"Great," she nodded and picked up her cell phone.

"So what brings you back to Trenton Brenda," I swallowed back the fear.

"I have a new talk show. It's going to start here and we'll build up some good numbers and start adding stations until we go national, you know what I mean. I can keep overhead down here and they're delighted to have someone of my stature and reputation here."

"Of course," I nodded. Obviously nobody in Trenton really knew what Brenda's reputation was. She was a pain in the ass. She used to drink…a lot. She also used some recreational drugs. But these days after seventeen million rehab ventures and an equal number of back-slides, she's apparently pretty clean. She looks different. She's obviously got enough contraband in her that she can't recognize a bad idea when she sees one, but that's her problem.

"But here's the thing," she leaned toward me to share her secret, "I won't be the star. I have to audition some people to try to find someone of star material. So that's my secret."

"It's safe with me," I sighed.

"You know with all the models at Sizzlin, it seems to me that we should be able to find a really hot girl to be the host," Lula said thoughtfully. "Padma's out. She's too pregnant."

"Er…yea," I nodded. "How about calling Marina?"

"Marina," Lula grinned. "That's perfect. She's beautiful. She already has name recognition. Brenda…she's your girl."

"Do you think so," she glanced over at me.

"Do you mean 'the Marina'," Christian blinked.

"Yea," I nodded.

"Oh my God, she's so beautiful," he sighed. "I'd love to have her skin."

"Me too," Brenda sighed. "Lula, get me an interview."

"Sure thing Boss," Lula said making a note in her steno pad.

Hmmm…Lula used a steno pad. This could get interesting. "Of course you realize that Marina is under contract with Sizzlin. I don't know if it's an exclusive contract, but you may need to check with Natalie before you get too carried away."

"Good idea," she nodded making notes. "I don't know that I would have thought of it."

"I'm sure you would have," I nodded.

"Are you ready to order," the waitress said with a slight smile.

"Sure," Lula grinned and proceeded to give her order.

By the time I returned to work, leaving Christian with his new boss, I was too numb to deal with anything else. Brenda had a way of just zapping the life and energy out of you. She was exhausting. She sure as hell exhausted me. She wasn't that good kind of vivacious energy that just made you want to do cartwheels when you left her, she was the kind that made you want to take to your bed and cry yourself to sleep. I could never understand how she became so successful considering she had to perform in front of people. It just goes to show that some people love misery.

I ran into Tank in the hall when I got to the office, "hey…I just had lunch with Lula…and her new boss."

He groaned, "Can I see you?"

"Sure," I nodded and followed him into his office.

"Sit down," he nodded toward one of the chairs in front of his desk.

Now, I've been told to sit down by bosses before and it's never a good thing. It's usually followed by something like…we're closing our offices and laying off people before the feds come in and take over. Or we love that you're so enthusiastic about our baked goods, but you're eating all of our profits. Or we just don't think you're Clucky Bucket material. You know what I mean? It's just never a good thing.

"Okay…I'm sitting," I said with a frown. "What's wrong Tank?"

"I just have some papers for you to sign," he slid then across his desk at me.

"Okay," I frowned.

"Use your real name," he raised a brow.

I blinked. Ranger had said he wanted to tell him, but I didn't know he'd done it. If he'd told me that he was going to, we could have synchronized our watches and I could have told Lula at the same time. "My real name," I blinked again.

"Stephanie Plum Manoso," he said succinctly.

"It's Stephanie P. Manoso," I whispered.

He raised a brow at me.

I sighed, "When did he tell you?"

"When we got back from Paris while you were still in France," he said quietly.

"I wanted to tell Lula at the same time."

"Yea…about that," he shifted uncomfortably.

"Did you already tell her?"

"No," he shook his head adamantly, "but I think you need to be careful how you word it. Now that she's a married woman, she's like some kind of demon for traditional values. If she knows you're probably going to get a divorce, she's not going to be happy."

"Probably," I squeaked. I think I squeaked. I'm pretty sure it was a squeak.

"He said you'd discussed divorce," he sighed.

"I seem to remember a couple of conversations about it. He said there was no hurry. We could take our time. It was pretty much white noise to me," I admitted.

"Have you talked to a lawyer?"

"No," I frowned and bit my lip. "Do I need to?"

"Why would you need to," he shook his head. "I can't believe you want a divorce Stephanie."

"Well, since I'm married to the man who has told me on more occasions than I can count that he doesn't want to be married and have children or a house in the burbs, you tell me…what do you think I should be believing?"

He sighed. "You love him."

"I know."

"He loves you."

"You know…people keep telling me that. I mean everybody but my husband keeps telling me that," I shrugged.

"Did you talk to a lawyer," he said.

"No," I sighed heavily.

"Neither has he," he said with a raised brow. "I mean he hasn't discussed divorce with anyone."

"Well, we haven't talked about the details of it." I blushed.

"When are you going to do that," he asked.

"Well…the last time we talked about it, it didn't go so well."

"You were drunk calling him from Paris and it resulted in a shouting match on his end."

"I wish I could remember that."

"You called him Castro," he raised a brow.

"Did I," I fought the grin.

"Stephanie," he growled.

"You know he's not that easy to talk to Tank. It's especially hard to talk to him about things that matter to me that don't matter to him. We started talking about it on the boat and it also didn't go well that time and I actually remember most of that conversation."

He shook his head, "sign the papers Steph." He slid papers across the desk to me.

"What am I signing?"

"You're Ranger's wife. You have the right to certain things you didn't have before. He wants to make sure that you're cared for."

"I'm not signing anything," I hissed. "I told him that I don't want his damn money."

"Be reasonable Steph," he sighed.

"Reasonable? You want me to be reasonable? Do you think this is reasonable?" I thumped the papers on the desk. "He's not planning to stay married to me. He married me while he was drunk. He keeps offering me his damn money. I don't want his damn money. I didn't marry him for his damn money."

"I know that honey. Just sign the papers."

I sighed and picked up the paperwork hoping for a prenup and instead finding that he was signing over 20 percent of the company to me.

"He is out of his fucking mind," I blinked at Tank in astonishment. "If I sign these papers he'll be stuck with me in his life forever."

"Sign them," he said seriously.

That was one fifth of the company that he and Tank owned. That was decision making power. I didn't need those kinds of headaches. I growled and tossed the papers back down on the desk. "No…I won't be signing them. Is he here?"

He nodded.

I grabbed the papers, got up and stomped down the hall to Ranger's office and pushed the door open without even bothering to knock first. I flopped down in the chair in front of his desk and threw the papers at him and glared, "I told you that I don't want your money."

He watched the papers flutter to his desktop and raised his eyes to me completely unconcerned. "I am aware of that."

"Then why did you have your lawyer draw up these papers instead of some damn divorce agreement that you're in such a big hurry to have."

"I told you that there was no hurry to get a divorce. I am aware that you don't want my money. However, you we did exchange vows and rings and I'm going to protect you as is my legal right."

"Your legal right," I said in surprise as my eyes widened.

"You are my wife. You have the right to have things. You have the right to have pretty things and by owning twenty percent of the company that you've helped to make successful, you can have them."

"I will earn whatever pretty things I have. I don't need to be kept. I don't need to be paid off or bought off or any of that shit. I don't want your damn money."

He sighed.

"Did you talk to the lawyer about the divorce?"

"No," he said succinctly.

I tilted my head and studied him, "Ranger, why haven't you started divorce proceedings?"

He was quiet a moment just staring at me. Then when he finally spoke, it was pretty interesting. "How would you like me to file? Have you committed adultery?"

"Don't be ridiculous," I hissed.

"If you abandon me or I abandon you, in eighteen months you can file or I can file depending on which one of us is abandoned. If you become an alcoholic or drug addict…or if I do, we only have to wait twelve months. If you go to jail…or I do…then its eighteen months. If either of us is committed for mental illness, then we wait twenty-four months. Which of these avenues would you like to pursue?"

"Hmmm," I leaned back in my chair forming his infamous steeple of thoughtful fingers. This conversation had turned out to be far more illuminating than I'd ever imagined that it would be. Apparently he didn't think I'd changed all that much. If he realized how much I'd grown he'd know that I've already researched divorce in New Jersey and all points beyond and I knew that we could do it much quicker. For instance, we could divorce in Jersey in just six months citing Irreconcilable Differences. Then…there was always Reno or even Grand Cayman. Not to mention the fact that I know I was drunk and I could get the marriage annulled on those grounds alone. I was not in my right mind. He had to know all these things too. He had all those high price lawyers that he could afford and they had to have told him the same things. Yet, he was offering me only the most time consuming options and none of them were easy to admit to or to file with. Every option he offered me had strings attached. What was his game?

"Sign the papers Stephanie," he said tiredly. "You've earned it."

I stood up with a tired sigh. "I don't want your money Ranger."

"Please sign the papers. I'll feel better if you sign the papers."

"I don't want to take your company…not even a small part of it. You've built it. You've earned it. I am only an employee."

"Steph…"

"I don't want your money," I said softly from the door. I paused and whispered, "I only ever wanted you."

I walked out of his office without a glance. I walked straight to my office and sank down in my chair and pursed my lips thoughtfully. He wasn't hurrying the divorce and he obviously didn't want me to either. He was clouding over the possibilities with his own subterfuge. What was the reason for that? What did he have to gain? I just sat there for a long time in silence. Then slowly the solution that made the most sense forced itself to the front of my mind. It wasn't something I ever imagined would really happen. But it was possible. It was.

I sat up and smiled slightly. Maybe…he wasn't sure he wanted a divorce. Maybe his fear of commitment was wearing down. Maybe he even loved me more than as a friend or a…you know, nocturnal athletic partner. I had to figure out where to go next. I needed to know how to handle it. He couldn't be saving my feelings. If he was, he'd do the divorce like a band-aid…you know, he'd rip it off quickly and fairly painlessly. Well, at least it would be over fast.

After a few seconds of deliberation I got up and left to go and sign a new client. From there I visited another possible client and made arrangements to come by and give them an estimate. I called Tank and let him know someone on that end needed to get over there and figure things out. I went back to the office and found the paperwork on my desk along with a note from Ranger. 'Just sign them. This way you know I won't fire you after the divorce. R' I shook my head and put them aside. I didn't want his money. On that, I wasn't going to give in. The only way I'd ever own a piece of Rangeman was if he stayed married to me. On that, I was like granite.

I went to work on some research that I was a little behind on and waited as the clock ticked for five o'clock. I didn't normally watch the clock, but today I needed to get out of there and get into my house in my thinking position and consider what was happening.

Christian called me a little after that and told me that he was moving to Brenda's hotel. He said that she required too much work for him to work long distance and he was going to have to watch her diet or there would be no way to help her skin. Christian was moving out. I suppose I knew that was coming the moment I saw him with Brenda. Every girl needs a Christian, but Brenda and Christian were just made for each other. She was all high drama and he was a calming influence. I thought they'd be good together.

At five on the dot I packed up my desk and headed out. I drove home and walked around the quiet house. Rex's cage had been put away into the attic. The silence that greeted me was about overwhelming. I quickly turned on the CD player and Def Leppard's newest album, _**Songs From the Sparkle Lounge**_, began to play. I smiled and headed for the kitchen singing along. "Just go…just go…"


	3. Chapter 3 Parents

I own what I own and Janet Evanovich owns what she owns. I don't make a dime off it, she hopefully makes bazillions off of hers. I know I contribute to it.

* * *

I decided to forgo the thinking position that had been my old standby and instead I headed for the kitchen to my new thinking position. My new thinking position was actually in a standing position at my kitchen island with some utensil in my hand. I never went to sleep in this position and I always had something tasty to show for it when I was done thinking. It was a pretty good alternative.

I hummed about the kitchen occasionally singing along to the songs on the stereo as I cooked. I flattened the deboned chicken breasts and rubbed them with some salt and olive oil. Then I put a slice of ham and a cube of Swiss cheese in the middle before rolling them and sticking toothpicks in to make them hold their shape.

"Chicken Cordon Bleu," he said as he leaned against the counter.

I jumped about two feet and stuck the tooth pick right into my finger. "Shit Ranger," I hissed and tugged the toothpick out.

"Are you all right?"

"I stuck the toothpick in my finger. I'm peachy keen."

"Right," he shook his head.

"Ring the doorbell or some shit next time, will ya?"

"I'm your husband. Why should I?"

"Because you don't live here," I said poinedly as I washed my hands. "And you don't wear your ring."

"You don't wear yours either."

"You took it off me," I said softly, "and for some reason it disappeared after Tank and Lula's wedding."

"Tank and Lula were about to get married."

"I didn't say you took it off of me for the wrong reasons Ranger and that doesn't explain why it disappeared after their wedding or where it might be now."

"No it doesn't. You never asked. I have it."

"I think I sort of knew that part," I rolled my eyes.

"Do you have enough for two?"

"I always have enough for two," I sighed. I put a band-aid on my finger, washed my hands and went back to the chicken.

"I brought dessert," he said nodding toward the box at the end of the counter.

"Okay…you did?" I frowned at him in wonder. Something had to be going on. It wasn't going to be good if he brought dessert. Either that or he was softening me up. "Why did you bring dessert? Did someone die?"

"Nobody died…yet."

"What are you talking about?"

"Steph…there's been a leak."

"What kind of leak?"

"A leak regarding our secret marriage," he said quietly. "Manuel told Michelle and she told her grandfather and I'm sure it will be all over the burg by morning."

"Why in the hell would he tell Michelle anything? They're divorced. They're better than divorced. They have a Papal annulment."

"I think he was drunk."

"That's peachy! That's just friggin peachy!"

"I told Tank to go ahead and tell Lula. We don't have time to tell her and tell your parents."

"Oh shit," I groaned.

"How much time do we have if you put that in the oven on low?"

"About an hour and a half," I sighed.

He held out his hand. "We need to put these back on and head over to your parents house."

I looked in his open palm and openly balked. I backed away from him till my back hit the counter. "Ranger…"

He approached me and leaned over me with one hand on either side of me resting on the counter behind me. I could feel his breath on my neck when he spoke. "Do you want them to know the truth Babe?"

"I…" He was too close. It was too much. I didn't think I would be able to speak in coherent sentences if he stayed that close to me.

"Do you want them to know we got married because the guy who put us up on an I-beam with your ass dangling in the wind three times thought he should control our lives again?"

I sighed.

"Do you want them to know we're going to be divorced as soon as possible? Do you want them to know that?"

"No," I whispered.

"Then it's time we played this out," he said and straightened. "We can be married. We'll be fine. We've lived together before and managed not to kill each other. It will be fine."

"We're going to be married so my parents don't disown me," I blinked at him in shock.

"No," he said softly. "We'll be married for now…happily married for now. They have plans. They'll move to Boca. Your grandmother will move to France or Spain or Italy or wherever she and Burt can find a nudist beach that will let them on and then we'll quietly divorce."

"Right," I said and the fire seemed to just roll right out of me.

"It won't be messy. We'll remain friends. You can even blame me," he leaned against the counter behind him.

"I assure you that I will," I raised my chin fighting for control.

"In the meantime, we're married." He beckoned me forward with the crook of his finger.

I swallowed and took a step toward him.

He held out his hand and I struggled for a second before putting my hand in his. "Babe…it doesn't do much for my ego knowing that you'd almost rather face your parents with failure than be married to me."

"Your ego can stand it," I whispered.

He took the wedding band and started toward that all important finger and I pulled back. "Babe…it's a ring."

"It's…"

"Do you want to do it yourself," he said softly.

I shook my head quickly.

He pulled my hand back and slid the thin gold band onto my finger.

I looked down as another piece of metal slid on my finger. "Oh my God…"

"Your father would know something was wrong if there was no ring on your finger."

"There was a ring," I blinked at the huge engagement ring nested with the gold band.

"I mean an expensive diamond," he said quietly and opened his palm to expose his ring.

"Ranger," I swallowed back the tears.

"You've already done it once," he said quietly. "I don't think your hives will come back now."

I took a deep breath and took the ring from his palm and with a couple of false starts pushed the ring on his finger.

"I'll bring some stuff over tonight after dinner."

I nodded.

"We need to get to your parents before the burgvine does."

"Yes," I agreed and turned down the oven and slid the chicken inside. I grabbed my coat and my keys and followed him outside.

Ranger opened the passenger's door of the Porsche and waited till I was settled inside before going around opening his door.

"Okay, I have one for you," I said anxiously as he backed out of my driveway, "how do we explain the fact that I took off for France after we got back from the cruise instead of setting up residence with my husband?"

He arched a brow at me and put the Porsche in gear, "you obviously got cold feet."

"I got cold feet. I'm the one with the commitment issues, right?"

"You're the one in therapy," he reminded me.

"Ass," I hissed.

"It makes sense Babe. You married me at the spur of the moment and you got a little nervous."

"A little nervous," I blinked at him in shock. "I went to France to talk to my ex-boyfriend."

"That's not really common knowledge is it?"

"Well…no," I frowned.

"I just think that you running away makes sense with your past and well…especially after Rex, you know…bought the farm."

"Thanks for your compassion," I crossed my arms and glared out at the road ahead.

"Babe…I know you loved the rodent," he sighed heavily. "It wasn't your mother or you father or your Grandmother…or any of the human beings that you loved that died. It was your pet and he wasn't all that affectionate. When you get a puppy, you'll find that they're more loving."

"They need to pee at four am," I said in a huff.

"I'll take him out," he said in exasperation.

I sat up straighter in the seat. He'd take him out? He'd walk the little fur ball? Ranger would be around to do that? Hah! He'd just ratted himself out and he didn't even realize it. He didn't know it yet, but he was so going to be a suburban husband with 2.5 kids…well, it would probably be more than that since he already had a daughter. Not only that we were going to have a dog and we were going to stay married. I just had to play my cards just…right. "Well, you would be up anyway," I said forcing a sigh out. "I mean you're up before Jesus anyway."

He rolled his eyes.

"Why do I have to be the one afraid of commitment? You're more afraid of commitment than I am."

"You're the one who ran," he shrugged.

"Ass," I sighed.

"Yea, but I'm a right ass," he grinned.

"But still an ass," I shook my head. "All right, your plan is a good one."

He nodded and I saw a smirk on his face. "And I'm not afraid of commitment."

"Right," I rolled my eyes. "What changed my mind…you know about the probable success of our marriage?"

He stopped at the stop sign and gave me a wolfish grin.

"Oh right," I rolled my eyes.

"Babe," his gaze was steady on me daring me to say that sex between us wasn't good. He knew it was good. And he knew I knew it was worth fighting for. God, he sucked!

"Like they're going to believe it was the sex?"

"Babe…I just spent twelve days with your family. Trust me when I tell you that no other explanation will do."

I bit my lip. As much as it grossed me out, he was probably right. I spent the rest of the ride in silence.

Ranger made it through the slush to my parents and parked out front. He rushed around and opened the door to help me out of the car. Before we even got to the sidewalk Grandma was on the stoop.

"Hi Grandma," I smiled tentatively. She was the barometer for the house. How she reacted would tell me what the forecast was inside.

"Hi Stephanie," she said kissing my cheek. "You brought the package? You're too late for dinner."

"I just…I mean we," I indicated Ranger, "Just want to talk to Mom and Dad. Are they home?"

"Where else would they be on a Monday night?"

"True," I sighed and followed her inside.

"What a nice surprise," my father said from his easy chair. "Pumpkin, you look like you had a nice time in France."

"I did. I hung out with Christian."

"That's Brian's brother," my mother said and lowered her voice to a whisper, "you know, the gay one."

"Yes Mom," I said resisting the urge to roll my eyes. "He's the gay one."

"Have a seat," my father grinned. "It's good to see you Ranger." He held out his hand and the men shook.

"It's good to see you Frank."

"So what's up?"

I sat on the sofa and shifted uncomfortably for a few moments before Ranger took my hand.

"You're getting married," my mother said with a huge shout and a grin the size of…well, the size of New Jersey.

"Oh my God," Grandma laughed. "I knew it. If you're married to the package, I'll eventually be at the right place at the right time."

I groaned inwardly and Ranger blanched visibly.

"Actually Frank," Ranger said clearing his throat, "we…we already did."

My mother's mouth dropped open.

"We eloped while we were in Cayman," he said quietly. "We didn't want to ruin Tank and Lula's wedding. We just…it was spur of the moment."

"Then why did you go to France Dear," Mom frowned.

"Yes Pumpkin, why did you go to France," Daddy said eying me thoughtfully.

"I got scared," I winced.

"Oh dear," my mother came to sit beside me on the sofa. "Ranger isn't Dickie Orr. He won't be on your dining room table with Joyce Barnhardt. Will you Ranger?"

He winced, "not in this lifetime."

"He's not Joe Morelli either. Face it Stephanie…he was bad news. I mean the stories I've heard about that boy since you so wisely broke up with him…oh my goodness. He was not a good boy dear."

"I know," I swallowed.

"And Ranger will never cheat on you and leave you to marry someone else a few weeks later and get them pregnant. Will you, dear?"

"No ma'am," he assured her.

"See dear, you'll be fine."

"I'm not worried about him cheating on me," I swallowed.

"That's good then," she patted my knee.

"It's just…it was so spur of the moment and I started worrying that I'd done the wrong thing and that…"

"But…," Ranger frowned.

"But that's the best way to make sure it fails…you know, by running away and not even trying," she said seriously.

"That's right Pumpkin," Daddy nodded. "I'm proud of you. Ranger…come on out to the garage with me? I want to show you my new router."

"Sure Frank," Ranger nodded and left me alone with my mother and grandmother both of which were studying the rings on my fingers.

"So you've consummated the wedding, right," my mother asked.

"Yes ma'am," I blushed.

She cleared her throat, "Now Dear, you can't be uncomfortable about sex. Sex is a natural part of marriage. It can actually be very enjoyable if you relax and allow yourself to enjoy it."

I felt my face flaming red. "Er…yes, it's very nice."

"Just nice," Grandma frowned. "Well, what's the point of having that package if…"

"It's very pleasurable Grandma," I groaned. What would it take to stop the conversation forever?

"Very pleasurable," she frowned. "Does the boy make your eyes roll back in your head or not?"

I never in a million years wanted to discuss sex with my mother and grandmother, much less discuss having sex with Ranger with them. If I told them that he continually made my eyes roll back in my head Grandma would never leave him alone. God only knows what my mother would be thinking. The cruise brought far too many of my family's personal sexual habits to my attention. "He…I…er… He makes my…yes."

"That's good, dear," my mother nodded. "And you have to be willing to let him know when things feel good and when they don't. That's the only way that you can be sure he learns what pleases you sexually. Marriage is about communication in and out of the bedroom."

"Er…he knows," I whispered.

She patted my knee, "he looked like he would be a quick learner in the sexual education department."

Kill me now!

"Does he do the oral thing," Grandma said hopefully.

"Grandma," I groaned.

"Its good stuff," she said seriously. "If a man don't do the oral stuff, he's not worth a lick in the bedroom." She cackled for a few minutes over that one.

"Well she's right dear," my mother nodded. "I know if your father hadn't…"

"Okay that's enough of that," I groaned and jumped to my feet.

"Well does he or not," Grandma asked.

I quickly decided they were never going to let me leave the house unless I answered them. "He does it very well," I gagged. "Is there cake?"

"Yes, we have pineapple upside down cake," my mother led me to the kitchen. "I'm awfully glad he likes the oral stuff. But don't let him near your anus Dear."

I blinked in shock. "My anus," I blinked.

"You know…the butt sex," she shivered. "It's just not clean…I mean I don't think…"

"I don't know," Grandma said casually, "I think I'm rather starting to like it."

"Really," Mom raised her head and gazed at Grandma speculatively.

I threw up in my mouth…a little bit…maybe more.

"Yes…it touches nerves that I didn't know I had. Burt makes me scream with that one."

"Well…Frank is always trying to get me to try it. I'll tell you what Stephanie. I'll give it a shot and let you know how it works out."

I think I nodded. I'm not sure. I was starting to feel pretty dizzy by then. At that moment the cavalry arrived.

Ranger and Daddy entered the kitchen then and Ranger reminded me that we had chicken in the oven. Mom packed us some Pineapple Upside Down cake and handed me the paper bag and they walked us to the door.

"I'm so glad you learned to cook," Mom beamed. "You're completely ready to be a wife and a mother now."

"Yea," I nodded.

"We're thinking of getting a pet first," Ranger said seriously. "If we train it well and keep it healthy…we'll go the next step up."

"Very wise," Daddy leaned over to kiss me. "Good night Pumpkin. I'm very happy."

"Me too Daddy," I whispered. "Good night."

I settled into the Porsche and we drove away back toward the peace and quiet of my house.

"You look shell shocked," Ranger frowned.

"They talked to me about sex," I gagged.

"Oh," he shook his head.

"They wanted to know if you did the oral sex," I said. I couldn't help myself. The words just seemed to tumble out of my mouth. "Mom told me not to let you near my anus. Grandma said she didn't think it was so bad, she was starting to like it. Mom's going to give it some thought and get back to me."

Ranger gagged, "thanks for sharing, Babe."

"They're all perverts," I whispered.

"I tried to tell you Babe," he said softly taking my hand in his.

"I'm never having sex again," I sighed and leaned my head against the cool window.

"I'm not surprised," he sighed.


	4. Chapter 4 Who Did I Marry?

You guys know I get nothing monetary from this. I don't get anythng but your kind words and the joy of telling a story. Janet owns what she created and I own what I created. Sometimes I hope it's hard to tell it apart.

* * *

I woke up the next morning late. I knew it was late because the sun was shining through the wooden blinds and bathing my legs in warmth. I was alone, but there was evidence that I hadn't been alone the entire time. The pillow beside me had a dent in the shape of a head. Ranger's I hope. And there were boxes and bags stacked neatly in one corner of the room. The chaise occupying the corner by the window was stacked with hangers of clothes, primarily in black. He was moving in and I slept through it.

When he said he was going to bring a few things over, I expected some clothes and maybe a couple of CDs, but instead his entire wardrobe seemed to be scattered about my bedroom. Plus, he didn't wake me up and he'd obviously turned off the alarm clock. Apparently he thought I may need a little time away from him. He was probably right.

I got up and made the bed and took a shower and got dressed. I made coffee. I found a box from Tasty Cake sitting on the counter and ate a couple of the donuts from it. On top of the donut box he'd left a note. 'Babe, take the day off. I have a feeling you'll need it after last night. R'

Yea…I did.

I refilled my coffee and grabbed the box of donuts and headed back up the stairs. I paused staring at the boxes sitting in the living room, the hall and the family room. He even had boxes in the media room. He wasn't bringing a few things over, he was bringing everything over. He was bringing things here I'd never even seen at his apartment on seven.

I trod up the stairs and sighed. Then after putting down the coffee and the donuts I got to work. See, the thing is, once you've learned how to appreciate an orderly house…there's no going back. I needed everything in its place. That meant all of Ranger's belongings needed to have a home. After hanging his clothes on the empty side of the closet and neatly arranging his shoes beneath, I put his other clothes on shelves and in drawers.

As soon as I finished with his clothes I headed for the bathroom. I put things away and hung a towel over the shower. I'd tell him later where everything was.

I put his CDs in the rack with mine carefully putting them all in alphabetical order. If he wanted to separate them out later, he'd have a hard time. Yep, he was going to be stuck with me whether he liked it or not.

I took a break around one and ate some lunch and talked to Lula. Lula was pleased that Ranger was moving in with me. She was grateful we'd kept everything quiet so they could have their big day. She had no idea that Ranger and I were supposedly going to divorce some day. Obviously Tank hadn't told her everything. There was a part of me that was glad of that. Either Tank didn't want Lula to know that we were planning to dissolve the marriage because he was afraid she was going to go all Martha Stewart on him, or he just didn't want to because he hoped it wouldn't happen. I liked both versions myself. The first did give me the giggles though. I mean really…Lula is Martha Stewart? That's hysterical!

My parents dropped by the house a little after lunch and Daddy went to the garage humming to put away tools. Ranger has tools? Who knew? I mean like he had a hammer, screw drivers, drills, saws and all kinds of domestic crap. I don't know if he built houses in his spare time or just liked to tinker around. I never even saw him hang a picture on the wall. Who the hell did I marry?

Mom went to the kitchen, also humming, and started preparing dinner while I continued to put away boxes of books like _**He's Not That Into You**_ (do what?) and DVD's like _**Nights in Rodanthe**_. Seriously…who did I marry?

By the time Ranger got_ home _(?), the house was in order. I was in the kitchen with my mother and my father was in the family room watching ESPN on the 50 inch LCD television.

"What is this Pumpkin? Is it a 720P?"

"No Daddy, that's 1080i," I said tossing the salad. It's got a 120 refresh rate. It's state of the art."

"The picture's nice," he nodded. "It's like being at the game. Oh hey Ranger, glad you're home."

"Hi Frank," he nodded. He walked into the kitchen and dropped a kiss on my lips with a slightly raised brow. "Err…"

"Everything is put away. Your clothes are in the chest."

"Thanks. Do I have time for a shower before dinner?"

"Of course Dear," my mother smiled at him.

"I'll hurry," he said heading for the stairs.

I watched him go and hid the grin. He had been surprised to see my parents there. But this is married life. He wasn't going to know what hit him. This was what it was like for me all the time. Once my parents got over the fact that Joe and I were over and that it was a good thing, they appeared at the house pretty regularly. Ranger was going to love that. I couldn't wait till the conversation after they left.

Mom and I had just finished putting dinner on the table when Ranger came down the stairs.

"Did you find everything okay," I smiled.

"Yea…it's just where I would have put everything. You really got a lot done today."

"Daddy put away your tools," I raised a brow at him. "What do you use a router for?"

"It shapes wood," he frowned.

"What wood does it shape," I fought the grin.

"It's just in case," he said. I could hear the defense in his voice and grinned.

"Right," I nodded.

"Dinners ready," Mom smiled cheerfully.

"It looks wonderful Mrs. Plum," Ranger said.

"It's Mom now dear," she said absently. "We're family now."

"Right," he nodded.

She watched waiting with a slight smile.

"Mom," he swallowed.

"Now see, isn't that nice Dear," she said and patted his hand and walked back to the kitchen.

"Do I have to call your grandmother Grandma," he swallowed.

"Yep," I grinned.

"You're enjoying this way too much," he sighed.

"Yea…I know," I grinned even broader. There were definite advantages to the way this whole thing was playing out. I had no idea that it would go this way, but it was turning out not so bad. I was wearing Ranger's rings. He was wearing mine. My parents were pleased. He had a router. This was good.

He shook his head as my father joined us and we all sat at the table to eat.

"So have you thought about where you're going to register," Mom asked spooning mashed potatoes onto her plate.

"Oh, no I hadn't," I raised a brow at Ranger. "I guess we would normally register for china and stuff, but I suppose we need to register for Home Depot too."

Ranger returned my brow, "that would be great. I'd like to change out some of the cabinet pulls and such."

"Hmmm," I nodded.

"Good, then you'll register at…"

"Macy's," I raised a brow at Ranger.

"Sure, we'll head over there tomorrow morning," he suggested, "and Home Depot and probably Target."

"Sounds good," I nodded.

"Good…I'll tell Mavis and Louise that you're registering. We need to have a party," Mom said. "I mean your father and I didn't get to attend your wedding, but I think a reception is definitely called for. Then it won't look odd because you're not wearing white," she whispered the last part.

"Well, it's not like it's my first wedding. Everyone in the burg was at my first wedding, remember?"

"Ptui-ptui," she spat to the side. The ptui-ptui is the age old way to ward off evil. Everybody knows that! "The church doesn't recognize that marriage dear."

"The church may not, but the people of the burg do."

"Well," she straightened and cleared her throat, "in any case you wouldn't have worn clean white because you're not…you know?" This from the same woman who was going to think about letting Daddy in her ass when I last talked to her. Pulease!

"Maybe I'll wear black," I muttered.

"I heard that," Ranger muttered back.

"So," I glared at him.

"Now…have you thought about children," Mom blinked up at us. I could see that she wanted us to say we were working on it.

"Well," Ranger swallowed, "neither one of us has a lot of experience nurturing. We thought we'd get a pet first and if we keep it happy and healthy, then we'll think about taking the next step."

"You mean like Rex," she patted my hand, "sorry dear."

"Actually…Rex didn't require much actual care," Ranger said carefully. "I was thinking more like a kitten or something first."

"Not a puppy," I raised a brow.

"We need to work our way up to taking puppies out," he said seriously.

"Hunh," I pursed my lips thoughtfully.

"Then if we handle the kitten okay, we'll get a puppy and then after that…"

"Right," Mom nodded, "I think that's a very sensible approach."

"Er…thanks Mom," I frowned. Okay, this was getting weird. Ranger had chick flicks and chick books and tools and my mother was willing to wait for grandchildren. What the hell? I had to be in the twilight zone.

My father patted my hand, "don't worry Pumpkin. There's no pressure."

"Right," I nodded, "no pressure." I felt a tightness in my chest. "Er…excuse me," I got up and raced up the stairs and hit Dr Addison's number on speed dial.

"This is Dr. Addison's service."

"I need to speak to him."

"Ma'am, is it an emergency?"

"Ma'am," I squeaked. I was over thirty but nowhere near ma'am. My mother was ma'am. "Now," I said bordering on a scream.

"Is this Stephanie Plum," she asked.

Great…now his service knew who I was. "Manoso," I barked. Oh dear God, I was calling myself Manoso now. What if he did really divorce me? Who would I be then?

"One moment please," she said and a second later pleasant music flowed through the phone.

"Stephanie…what's wrong?"

"Dr. Addison, Ranger moved in. My parents are here. He said we can get a kitten, then a puppy, then a baby. My mother is fine with waiting. We're registering at Macy's, Target and Home Depot tomorrow. She said it was a sensible approach…you know the kitten first thing. My dad said no pressure and the service called me ma'am."

"Which part has you feeling out of yourself?"

"All of it," I groaned.

"Stephanie…you're a strong woman. Ranger is who and what you wanted and he's there. You can make him want to stay because he loves you…and I know it always comes with a qualifier, but he loves you. Now, take a deep breath and put on your big girl panties and deal with it."

I took a deep breath, "I'll see you tomorrow afternoon in your office."

"Three o'clock," he agreed. "I can't wait."

"Oh you think so," I said seriously. "My mother's going to test out anal sex and let me know if it's any good." I'm pretty sure I heard him gag as he disconnected. "That's what I thought," I nodded smugly in victory. It's the little things.

After washing my face and giving myself a pep talk I went back downstairs. Ranger was sitting listening to my mother with this weird look on his face. When I got close enough, I realized why. He was not even there. He had tuned her out. He's good.

I sank down to my chair and picked up my fork and then my mother started talking to me.

"I was just telling Ranger that marital intercourse is very important to maintaining a happy and successful marriage. You need to have boundaries and safe words, but a little role playing can make a stagnant sex life revitalize. Not only that, you have to be open to what the other person needs."

"That's true," Daddy nodded.

"Using food is one way to add adventure to your sex life."

"Food," I squeaked. I swallowed and put my fork down.

"Of course," she nodded. "You can eat all kinds of things off a human body. I mean food just goes all over the place. I do recommend that you purchase a plastic sheet to cover your mattress before you do that though."

"You actually need two," Daddy agreed. "You need one for under the sheet. You need a second one for those more liquid nights," he grinned at my mother.

She giggled, "That's right. A little whipped cream won't make too much of a mess, but if you start going with toppings, gravy, mashed potatoes and cakes and pies…well, it does tend to get a little messy. Just keep an open mind."

Daddy nodded, "she's right Pumpkin. Why you just never know when after forty years of marriage your spouse is going to do that one thing that you've always dreamed of? It could be just the thing to make you feel twenty years younger."

"Oh Frank," my mother giggled.

I fought the nausea. I knew exactly what the thing was.

Ranger glanced at me speculatively.

I gave him the look that said 'don't even think about it.' Of course, he would. That's what men do.

When they left after lemon cake for dessert, Ranger and I collapsed on the couch side by side and just stared straight ahead. I don't know about him, but I felt like I'd been hit with that sledge hammer that was now in my garage.

"Even if you begged me, I couldn't have sex right now," he said.

"If I begged," I rolled my eyes.

"I mean it. If you begged me for sex right now, I'd have to decline. There's actually no way of knowing how long it will take for me to get those images out of my head so I can lead a normal life again."

"Your life is not normal," I reminded him.

"It's normal to me," he said with a sigh. "Come on Babe, tell me that didn't make you want to heave?"

"Oh I want to heave all right," I nodded. "I didn't eat anything for dinner. I didn't eat cake. You know if I don't eat cake…that's bad."

"That is bad," he said thoughtfully.

"I may never be able to eat again. Every time I think of food of any kind…I have these visuals," I swallowed back the bile. "Oh dear Lord…I bet they even use Tastycakes. Ranger…is this the real reason my mother makes dessert every night? Who needs a new dessert every night for God's sake?"

He shook his head, "that stuff will kill you anyway."

I glared at him.

He sighed. "This is so not what I expected when I got home tonight. How about we go to bed and when we wake up tomorrow we pretend this never happened?"

"We have to register at Macy's and Home Depot," I sighed.

"Don't forget about Target," he nodded. "Everybody registers at Target." He got up and headed for the doors to lock them.

Everybody registers at Target? Seriously…who the hell did I marry


	5. Chapter 5 Melon Baller

Janet Evanovich owns everything her brilliant mind conjured up, she lets us borrow them and I'm grateful. The characters you don't recognize came from my imagination. I earn nothing but sweet words from reviewers and a joyful sigh of my own at the writing.

* * *

The next morning we started at Starbucks for coffee and then went to Target. I let Ranger operate the scanner. You know how men are about having things in their hands and I carried the clipboard.

"Where should we start," he said with a frown.

"How about the kitchenware department," I suggested.

"Sure," he nodded and followed me back. He stared at the gadgets and gizmos lining the walls on little hooks. "All this stuff is for the kitchen?"

"Yep," I nodded picking up a couple of silicon spatulas. "We need some of these."

"What are those for," he frowned.

"Those are for stirring items in pots and icing cakes and making scrambled eggs and…"

"Why can't I just use the spatula or spoon?"

"Are they metal," I asked.

"Sure," he nodded.

"If you use metal spoons and spatulas on non stick surfaces they scratch the surface and damage it so it no longer operates at its full capacity."

"Oh…that's why my pans are so messed up," he nodded and scanned the tag of the spatulas.

I picked up the melon baller in the next section and held it out to him.

"What's that?"

"That is a melon baller," I said as he scanned it.

"What do we need that for?"

"To make melon balls," I said replacing the item and picking up a garlic press.

"What's that for?"

"Pressing garlic," I sighed.

"Do we need to press garlic," he frowned in confusion.

"Do you like lasagna and homemade spaghetti," I asked.

"Yes," he frowned.

"Then we need one," I waited patiently while he scanned it. I put it up and picked up another item.

"What's that?"

"It's an egg slicer."

"And we need an egg slicer?"

"We like uniform slices of egg in our salad, soups and gravies."

"Gravies," he raised a brow at me with a quirky smile.

"At Thanksgiving," I sighed.

"Oh yea," he nodded and scanned.

I put it up and grabbed the apple corer, "before you ask…this is an apple corer. We need it for fruit salads and things of that nature."

He shrugged and scanned.

I picked up a confectionary thermometer.

"What the hell is that for," he said edging away from me and the glass tube in my hand.

"It's a candy thermometer."

"That is for candy," he blinked at it.

"Yes," I said and sighed. I grabbed a meat thermometer beside it, "we'll need one of these too."

"What's that for?"

"To make sure the roast is cooked thoroughly. It's a meat thermometer."

"But…can't the candy thermometer measure the meats temperature?"

"No, the meat thermometer actually can go into the oven. The candy thermometer can't. They're both needed."

"That candy one is a little scary looking," he grimaced.

"You're the one who wants to do the butt stuff," I hissed.

"To you, not to me," he shook his head and shuddered.

"Uh-huh," I took the scanner from him and scanned the two items.

He held his hand out for the scanner.

"You can do this at home depot," I shook my head. "If I let you keep asking questions now, we'll never get done in time for me to see Dr. Addison today. I need to see Dr. Addison today."

"Right," he nodded and pursed his lips thoughtfully.

We went to the Home Depot next since it was right across the street.

Ranger's eyes lit up when we walked through the doors. "Let's start in the power tools."

I just rolled my eyes and followed him.

Ranger studied the shelf for about ten minutes before finally picking the first item up.

"What's that," I asked.

"That's a Dremel," he said scanning the item.

"What's it for?"

"It has multiple uses. It can do routing, screwing, drilling, sanding…"

"Don't you have a router?"

"Yea," he nodded.

"And don't you have a screw driver?"

"I have quite a few," he agreed.

"What about a drill?"

"Yea, I have a couple of those too," he sighed. "I think I see where you're going with this. You see, the Dremel is smaller and easier to handle. It's good for small jobs. It also has lots of attachments and gets into tight spaces."

"Right," I nodded.

He moved down the aisle scanning a few more items, most were attachments for the Dremel. We moved to the next aisle and he picked up this thing that had a long handle and scissors on the top…sort of.

"What's that," I frowned.

"It's a pruner."

"Why is it so long?"

"It's a tree pruner," he said. "It's long so you can get the taller branches. It even has a handle attachment to make it longer."

"Oh," I blinked.

He studied another box before scanning it.

"What's that?"

"An electric hedge trimmer," he said. "It's for trimming hedges."

"But we have a gas hedge trimmer in the garage," I frowned.

"The electric one is for smaller jobs."

"I see," I said. But I didn't.

Then we were on the aisle with wood and he took a pad out of his pocket and studied all this molding. "I like this one. Do you like this one Babe?"

"What's it for?"

"It's crown molding. I want to put it throughout the house."

"Why do you want to do that?"

"It looks better…you know more finished and it increases resale value. In this market we need all the help we can get?"

"Are we selling my house?"

"Well, no…I don't think so. I just mean that when you decide to sell it, the house will be more marketable."

"Right," I nodded. "I don't want granite countertops."

"Why not," he sighed.

"Because they have to be maintained," I said seriously.

"Babe…"

"And it's not a renewable resource," I said adamantly.

"You've thought about this?"

"Yes," I nodded. "If I could afford it I would put in recycled glass and concrete. It also has to be sealed, but it's environmentally friendly."

"And Energy Star Appliances," he nodded thoughtfully.

"Yea…and double…or triple paned windows," I agreed.

"I'll look into it," he said. "Well, then when we replace the carpet…you know for the puppy we should use bamboo. It's a renewable resource."

"Right," I blinked at him. Did he think it would take that long to get a divorce? Did he really think I'd think it would take that long to get a divorce? I mean, first I get a kitten, then I get bamboo floors, then I'd get a puppy and then what? We'd put my house on the market and buy an old Victorian and fix it up using all those tools he was in the process of scanning. Then it would be time to get the divorce? Somehow…I didn't think so. If I got to keep him that long, he was not going to get away from me ever! I do mean ever!

He added knobs, a weed eater, some ceramic floor tile, and a couple of other odds and ends to his list. I just followed along patiently and didn't ask too many questions. I mean I didn't want to be as annoying as he had been. Okay, I did want to, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

When we walked into Macys for the first time he looked a little overwhelmed. We registered and they gave us a scanner and set us loose.

"What are we getting here," he whispered.

"We're registering for china, silver, stemware, everyday dishes, flatware, small appliances, and linens."

"We need all that."

"We're expected to need all that," I nodded.

"Oh," he swallowed.

"Let's do something easy first," I said leading him to the china.

"This is easy," he swallowed staring in awe at all the neatly arranged china.

"Yes," I nodded. "All we have to do is find what each of us likes and we'll narrow it down. So you start on that end and I'll start on this end and when we're done we'll compare our top five."

"Okay," he nodded and walked away.

I finished before he did. I mean he studied each set like his life depended on him making the right decision. Finally he joined me.

"Okay, I'm ready."

"Okay, what's your number five?"

He led me to a Mikasa set that had also made my top five.

"Good…see how easy this is. We're in agreement already. If we don't agree anywhere else, this will be it."

He nodded and went to his next one, "this one."

"The Royal Dalton is also on my list. It's my number five and your number four. The Mikasa is my number four and your number five. My number three is this Wedgewood."

"That's my number three too," he agreed.

"Maybe we should go straight to number one," I said hopefully.

He walked straight to the Lenox Sophisticated Sapphire that was also my number one.

"My number one," I whispered.

"I like the little dots," he shrugged. "It has texture."

I nodded, "me too."

"Should I scan it," he raised a brow.

"Scan it," I sighed.

As easy as picking the china had been, the rest was just as easy. We chose Waterford Connoisseur Gold as our crystal. We both liked the gold band on the stem of the glasses. For everyday dishes we chose Pfaltzgraff's Eastside and Calvin Klein's Mineral Gray glasses to go with it. Our everyday stemware was Oneida's Othenia and our Sterling Silver ended up being Towle French Provincial (because it would be easy to clean). Then we went to the small appliances and life got harder.

"But you don't even know how to make waffles," I groaned and leaned against the counter tiredly.

"But you do," he said pursing his lips studying waffle irons.

"But you don't even like waffles?"

"Who said I don't like waffles?"

"I've never seen you eat waffles. They're not healthy enough. You know…too sweet for the temple."

He rolled his eyes. I'll give him credit. He's getting pretty good at it. "We'll use whole wheat flower and fat free syrup. I like this one," he scanned the Calphalon Waffle Iron.

"Fine. Whatever," I sighed. "Let's just move on."

We also argued…well, we didn't argue really. I mean we spent a lot of time while Ranger decided on a Coffee/Espresso maker and whether or not a toaster was really worth $350.00. He decided it was. We also spent some time while I explained why I needed both the Kitchenaid Artisan Mixer with attachments as well as the Cuisinart and the Immersion with all the gadgets. I finally told him that it was the same as the Dremel. Then he got it. He said I should have just said that in the first place. Men!

Finally we stopped for lunch. Since we were already at the mall, we hit the Ruby Tuesday's and were quickly ushered to our table.

"We got a lot done this morning," he said absently from behind the menu.

"Yes, we did," I agreed.

"We should call a contractor about the kitchen later," he added.

I blinked, "call a contractor?"

"Well, it's really not up to standard. You do amazing things with food these days Babe. You need a kitchen that you can really roll your sleeves up in and create."

"Right," I frowned.

"So we'll do bamboo floors and cabinets because they're renewable resources. We'll do the recycled countertops and Energy Star Appliances. I mean, all we really need is a design. Home Depot does that right?"

"Er…yea," I swallowed.

"We might as well get them to do all the floors at the same time."

"Where are we going to live while the work is being done?"

"Don't worry it will be fine." He smiled up at the waitress, "water for me and the Salad Bar."

"The same," I said with a slight smile.

"Babe," he frowned in question.

"Food…still the visual," I swallowed back the bile.

"Right," he sighed heavily. "Come on."

As he ate and I nibbled we talked about the floors and how I felt about the bamboo through the house except for the bathrooms. We talked about color. Then he convinced me that he'd just drop me at Dr. Addison's and someone from the office could pick me up when my hour was done.

I agreed with his logic.

An hour later I was sitting in the chair in Dr. Addison's office and I was still a little in shock.

"You've had an eventful few days," he said raising a brow.

"Very," I sighed.

"Ranger moved in," he asked.

"Oh yea," I nodded.

"What do you think about that?"

"I think he doesn't want a divorce but doesn't have the balls to tell me."

He grinned, "You've come a long way Stephanie."

"He loves me. He wants to be married to me. He's a putz."

He laughed, "I agree."

"I can't just let him get away with it," I sighed. "He has to say the friggin words. I mean he has to man up. How can a man who's so fearless when it comes to life and death be so chicken shit about love?"

He howled with laughter, "Well, I guess because life and death is what he knows. That's his comfort zone. He's been married once and it didn't end well. He doesn't want to make that mistake with you. He truly does love you and want you in his life."

"Yea, I suppose. He still needs to man up."

"I agree. What's this about a kitten?"

"My mother was asking when we'd start delivering of her grandchildren," I sighed. "Ranger told her that neither one of us had much experience with nurturing. We'd need to take it slow. We'd get a kitten first, and then a puppy and then some babies."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I think he's buying time. I just don't know what for."

"I agree. Stephanie, do you really still need me?"

"My mother tried anal sex. She likes it. She thinks I should go on and give it a shot. She said…"

"Stop," he said turning a little green. "I know I'm a therapist. But still…"

"You're from Jersey," I nodded in understanding.

"Has your mother been taking some new age classes or something?"

"Maybe," I sighed. "She can't bake all the time. Or maybe she can. They use food in sex…" I shuddered and almost lost my salad.

He sat quietly for a moment, "I don't think I'm qualified to help you with that problem."

"I doubt anyone is," I sighed. "Grandma Mazur is just as bad. I know far too much about my family's sex life. Even my sister Valerie is totally into sharing how good her sex life is lately. They're killing me."

"I think it's the Hungarian part. I'm Italian and Swiss. We don't do that."

"What do you do?"

"Curse and keep good time and manage our money," he shrugged.

"Makes sense," I sighed.

"And Italian Hungarians…"

"Curse, eat, cook and have sex," I sighed.

"I don't think I'd mind being a little more Hungarian," he said with a sigh.

"Yea…well, sometimes it's too much."

"Like how," he frowned thoughtfully.

"Well," I blushed. "I use sugar and desserts to stave off my sexual desires. But if I can't eat because I'm nauseated by my parents…even though it has to do with sex, I'm afraid I'm off the charts…you know…horny."

"Ah," he nodded. "Does Ranger know this?"

"He knows I use sugar in place of sex. He knows I'm not eating. I don't know if he's put it together yet, but he will."

"He's intuitive?"

"No…I'll do something stupid," I sighed and wriggled uncomfortably in my chair.

He gazed at me for a few moments, "if I were you, I'd stop at the Tasty Cake on the way home tonight."

"Good idea," I nodded.

When I left Dr. Addison's office the receptionist handed me a note and a set of keys. The keys were to my Escape and the note was from Ranger. He'd brought it by. He thought I may have a few more things to do before heading in. He was right. I needed to go to the Tasty Cake.

I walked to the door and pushed it and the freezing wind cut through my coat. I pushed the button to start my car remotely and let it warm up. March was definitely in like a lion. Punxsutawney Phil had some serious explaining to do. I sighed and leaned against the door to wait. Seconds later a blast splintered the glass on the doors and sent me across the room with slivers of glass in my hands and face. But I hadn't been in my car. It's a good thing, because there wasn't anything left of it.


	6. Chapter 6 Remodeling

Thank you to everyone for the kind reviews. You've overwhelmed me.

The brilliant mind of Janet Evanovich created the main characters. Any character that she didn't create, I did. I am receiving no compensation either monetary or other for this work.

* * *

I sat still and patiently let the EMT pull glass out of my face and hands. I knew I was lucky. If the wind hadn't been so bad when I left Dr. Addison, I'd be dead now. I didn't even see Ranger arrive, but I felt the tingle on the back of my neck that signaled his arrival.

"I'm okay," I said softly.

"Babe," he whispered and kissed the back of my neck where the tingle had originated. "You scared the shit out of me."

"Me too," I sighed.

"Have you had any threats? Has anyone left you any weird messages? Has there been anything?"

"No," I shook my head.

"I should have asked one of the guys to come pick you up or waited," he groaned and paced.

"It's not your fault," I said quietly. "You know I just attract the crazies."

He directed his next question to the EMT, "is she really okay?"

The girl looked confused.

"You're new here, aren't you," I smiled.

"Yes ma'am."

What was the shit with the yes ma'am? I was starting to get annoyed.

"Is she all right?"

"She's fine. It's all superficial. She probably won't even have to go to the hospital."

"Good. Thank you. Babe, I'm going to talk to the guys in the crime unit."

I nodded.

The EMT watched him leave and turned back to me. "That's your husband?"

"Yea," I nodded. "What's your name?"

I watched her turn to look at him again. "How long have you been married? Oh, I'm Carrie," she blushed.

"Almost a month," I said softly.

She turned and looked up at me, "he's very calm."

"He's used to this."

"Wait…you're Stephanie Plum?"

"Stephanie Manoso now," I nodded.

"You married the guy who owns Rangeman?"

"Yes," I agreed.

"So much is explained," she grinned.

"What do you mean?"

Before she could answer Joe Morrelli walked into the lobby.

"Cupcake," he nodded. "You okay?"

I sighed. I wasn't his cupcake. I nodded.

The EMT's eyes got big. I had a feeling she knew about my history with Morrelli.

"What'd you do?"

"I didn't DO anything," I said in annoyance. "I was seeing my therapist."

"You won't believe the rumor that's running around the burg," he said in amusement.

"What rumor is that," I raised a brow and winced at the pain.

The EMT grimaced and reached for her tweezers.

"Rumor around town is that you married Manoso and your parents are giving you a reception."

"Which part don't you understand," I said without looking up. She pulled the piece of glass out of my head and I reached up with my left hand, "ouch. That really hurts."

"Sorry," she gave me a small apologetic smile.

Joe grabbed my hand, "what the hell?"

"What," I frowned and pulled at my hand.

"You married him? You actually got that thug to marry you?"

"I got him to marry me," I blinked at him in shock. "What do you think I did? Do you think I poked holes in condoms or something distasteful like that? Am I supposed to be carrying his child right now?"

He blanched and dropped my hand. "You really married him Cupcake?"

"I'm not your cupcake," I spat. "I'm not entirely sure I ever was if the rumors running around the burg are true. Well, you know how true those are? Wait…you do," I dangled my hand in front of him.

"You're not being fair," he grimaced.

"I'm not being fair? You married Terri three weeks after we broke up and unless my math…and the math of everyone in Trenton…is wrong, she was about three months pregnant when you married her. That means…and correct me if I'm wrong, you were schtuping her when you were engaged to me?"

He paled, "and you were screwing Ranger?"

"No Joe," I said quietly. "I wasn't." It's weird. But suddenly I didn't care anymore. I was married to the man I loved and he was going to stay married to me whether he liked it or not. I was so over Joe. And I hadn't had to give birth to any of his monkey babies. "Aren't we past this? I know I am."

"That's it Mrs. Manoso," the EMT said

"Thanks Carrie," I said with a smile.

"You're welcome," she said and began gathering her things.

I got to my feet, "are we done Joe? You know…never mind, we've been done." I wrapped my coat around myself and started out the door.

"He'll never make you as happy as I could have."

I laughed, "He makes me happier on his worst day than you made me on the best one. He respects me."

"Hey Babe," Ranger said coming through the door. He took my face in his hands examining the tiny cuts scattered all over. "You okay?"

"I'm okay," I nodded.

He wrapped his arms around me, "meet me in the car?"

"Sure," I nodded and headed toward the Escalade at the curb. As I walked away I heard him say 'Morrelli, stay away from my wife.' I had to smile. As much as Ranger's macho bullshit annoyed me, it was times like this that I was glad he was such a Neanderthal.

The EMT tapped on my window a few seconds later.

"Did I forget something," I asked after the window went down.

"No, it's not that," she sighed. "Look…this may not be my place, but I'm new here and I really don't have anyone to piss off yet. So…the reason I'm surprised is because I've heard around the station that Joe and his wife are talking divorce. The reason they're talking divorce is because he's supposedly still hooked on you."

I blinked, "you heard it from whom?"

"The horse's mouth," she nodded toward the open doorway of the office building where Joe and Ranger were standing talking. "He was talking to another cop…Big Dog," she shook her head. "Anyway, he said he was still in love with you."

"Oh Geez," I groaned.

"That's why I was surprised you were married. He was going on and on about Mr. Manoso."

"I'm sure," I sighed.

"So…you have a heads up," she nodded.

"Thanks Carrie," I nodded.

She started away.

"Wait Carrie, you don't know anyone here?"

"No," she shook her head. "I'm from Maine. I just moved here. Jobs are scarce, you know?"

I dug my card out of my purse, "this is my card. Call me. We'll go shopping or something. And if you're unhappy with your job, I know people."

She grinned and waved my card, "I'll definitely call you. I hear your husband owns Sizzlin."

I laughed, "He does. And one of my best friends is the COO. Girl…I can hook you up."

"Know any good guys," she sighed.

"Honey…you come see me at my office. I can totally hook you up."

"I love you," she sighed. "I've been here almost a month. You're the first person that's been nice to me."

"Hmmm," I frowned. "I may have to talk to the mayor about that."

She laughed, "I'll call you."

"Thanks again Carrie." I waved as she left and Ranger got into the driver's seat.

"You have a new friend," he asked.

"Yea, she's new to the area," I agreed. "You and Joe sure had a lot to talk about?"

"Yea," he said grimly.

"Ranger…I'm over him," I said softly.

"I know. He's not over you," he growled.

"I know," I shook my head. "That's one of the things Carrie and I were talking about."

"Yea," he shook his head. "He's running his mouth all over town and Terri is getting pissed. He's going to end up with cement overshoes."

I shook my head, "he really needs to get his head out of his ass."

"And stop sniffing around yours," he hissed.

I just laughed at him.

He reached for my hand, "you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." I said seriously. "Where are you going?"

"Home," he sighed. "I made arrangements with a designer to come by the house and talk to us about some projects."

"Today," I raised a brow.

"It was a surprise," he sighed.

"It is a surprise," I nodded. "All right, do you know the person?"

"I do," he nodded. "We worked with them doing our offices on Haywood and they finished early and under budget."

I nodded, "all right. Then what do we want to do?"

"The bamboo floors and the kitchen and bathroom remodels at least," he said seriously.

"And we're doing this because?"

"Because we live there and we want the house to be eco-friendly and livable," he said.

"Right," I nodded. "Okay. So we're going with Energy Star Appliances and Bamboo cabinets. I'd like some glass in some of them. Is that doable?"

"That's doable," he nodded. "And the recycled glass and concrete counter tops," he said pulling into the driveway.

"Yea," I agreed. "And I think I'd like slate in the kitchen maybe on the floor and the back splash. Is that a renewable resource?"

"I don't think so," he shook his head. "What if we get ceramic tile that looks like slate?"

"That should work," I nodded. "We should do the same in the bathrooms. You know, give the house a nice flow. Not that Feng Shui shit that Lula's always going on about, but real flow."

"I like that idea," he nodded.

I sighed happily in spite of the billions of tiny cuts all over me.

"We should fence in the backyard," he said thoughtfully. "You know, for the puppy."

"The puppy," I blinked.

"You know…when we get one," he swallowed and concentrated on the road.

"Right," I shook my head.

He was usually in the zone when he drove. Today, he was all over the map. I could blame it on the fact that my car just blew up. But that had once been a regular occurrence and he'd never gone out of the zone. It could be the encounter with Joe. No, that was normal too. The only thing out of the ordinary was that this time when the car blew up, his wife could have been in it. Interesting…don't you think?

I got out of the car shaking my head. I'd almost made it to the door when the designer and contractor pulled into the driveway. This was getting more and more crazy.

By the time they left three hours later I was feeling a little better. They would finish the floors in a few days and do a few rooms at a time. They wouldn't be in our way and they'd work while we were at work. The worst part was that the kitchen would be out of order for a while.

"Maybe we should just stay at Haywood for a while," Ranger sighed. "I mean you've got a new stalker and we do have the apartment at our disposal."

"Ranger…this is home," I sighed looking around the kitchen. It wasn't much, but it was mine. The apartment on Haywood had all the personality of a hotel room.

"It would be finished faster if we got completely out of their way."

I sighed. He was probably right about that. The sooner they were finished the sooner we could get that kitten and start my semi-burg life. It was something to think about.

"It wouldn't take that much time Babe," he cajoled.

"If we move out, how much time will David need to complete the project?"

"I don't know. I can give him a call," he raised a brow.

"Okay, but if it's too long… I like my house Ranger."

"I know Babe. I'll make the call," he opened his phone and went into the other room while I started dinner.

I hummed as I worked and thought about my day. We had spent the morning registering for gifts. Not only had Ranger gone with me and participated, he'd done so willingly and enthusiastically. Sure, he'd been a little annoying at times. It was hard to believe he actually knew how to cook anything, but he'd cooked for me before and I hadn't died. I guess I was just a little used to having Ella around.

After we'd separated, I'd had a good session with my therapist. We'd talked to someone who shared our…I mean it…OUR vision of what the house could be and he was going to start the work soon. The only down side had been that I was out a car…again. It had been a while since that happened.

"Dinner," I called up the stairs. I put the plates on the breakfast room table and went back to get the wine.

"I'm sorry it took so long. I was talking to David."

"Yea, did he have anything approaching good news?"

"He did. He says he's got a two week window beginning tomorrow. If we open the house up to him, he can have it all done in two weeks."

"Even the kitchen," I said in surprise, "and the bathrooms will be finished?"

"Yea," he nodded. "He said it would all be done. He knows people and I called in a favor."

"So…we're moving to Haywood in the morning?"

"Yea," he nodded. "Is that okay?"

"Sure," I nodded. "How much space are we taking from the Family Room for the kitchen renovation?"

"Just about three feet," he reminded me. "But it will open the entire space up and we have a lot of unusable space over there," he pointed toward the television and sofas. "Once we open it up, the whole space will flow better."

I sighed. Who in the hell did I marry? I thought I was married to a guy who had entire conversations that consisted of one word sentences and instead I got a mixture of Martha Stewart, Bob Villa, and Mr. Rogers. I wasn't complaining mind you. This guy is just as sexy as the guy I thought I was definitely going to want to marry someday and his communications skills are better. Not only that, he probably knows how to fix things. He has tools. He must know how to use them. That's something I can use in my life. You'll be surprised to hear it, but I'm not that handy. Not to mention the fact that things just tend to break around me.

"What's wrong Babe," he frowned.

"Nothing," I shook my head with a smile.

"Nothing," he raised a brow. He shook his head. "If you don't like the design, we'll keep working till we find one that works. I'm not going to force you to do something that you're never going to like in the first place."

"I know that."

"So you don't like it."

"I didn't say that," I sighed.

"You shook your head and said nothing. I've known you long enough to know that that never means nothing."

"It's a good design. It really is," I sighed. "This just isn't my dream house and it never will be. But it will be close enough."

"What's your dream house," he said with a smile. "Wait…let me guess. You want an old Victorian that needs tons of TLC."

I blinked at him in surprise.

"I cheated. I overhead you," he smiled.

"Thank God," I sighed. "That was just creepy."

"Babe, are you sure that nobody has been giving you the heebie jeebies lately?"

"You mean besides you just then," I raised a brow.

"Babe," he shook his head.

"Nobody," I said with a slight smile.

"I'll definitely feel better if we're at Haywood. I don't even know who's after you. Word is already out on the street that we got married. Not many people are crazy enough to go after my wife. Whoever it is has to be nuts."

"There's a lot of that in Trenton Ranger," I sighed.

"I know Babe. It's the black hole of insanity," he sighed. "I'll feel better when you're safe at Haywood."

"Ranger, I can't stay at Haywood every time there's a nut on the loose. I'd never leave it if I did. You need to find a way to feel comfortable with me out in the world."

"Then we're moving," he said adamantly.

"Moving," I blinked.

"It's only for a little while," he said gently.

"Right," I sighed.

"In the meantime, we're going to have to find a house that I can make more secure."

"But this is my house. What happens when we're divorced?"

He swallowed and the mask went firmly into place. "Then you'll keep the house and stay safe."

I wondered then if he'd ever admit that he didn't want us to divorce. I wondered if he'd keep his mask on even as we walked into court.


	7. Chapter 7 Diva Brenda

I own nothing that Janet owns or created. I own only what I created. I get nothing but pleasure out of all of it.

* * *

Going back to Haywood was a step back in my mind. I would enjoy having Ella around to take care of me, but I would miss being self-sufficient. I would miss my house. To me going back to the penthouse on Haywood was going backwards. And that was going backwards not in a good way.

I packed a couple of bags, and by that I mean five. Ranger rolled his eyes. Seriously, he's getting really good at it. And then he carried them out to the truck for me. He rolled his eyes because he only had one bag…probably. Or he rolled his eyes because it's now instinct for him.

The moment I got out of the truck in the parking garage at Haywood, the guys descended on me like a pack of rabid dogs. They hugged me carefully and studied my tiny little cuts as they walked me to the elevator. Ranger finally cleared his throat and they went back for our bags. It's good to have friends.

The moment we were alone in the apartment he raised a brow at me, "you act as though you don't have options."

"What do you mean?"

"You have other options."

"What kind of options are you talking about?"

"Come on Babe! Any one of those guys would marry you and take care of you forever," he sighed.

"Uh…Ranger…most of those guys have girlfriends these days. There are only a couple of guys who don't. And I have plans to hook Mitch up with Carrie."

"If you keep introducing every available man to women, you won't have any left."

"I won't have any left," I said quietly and regarded him. He was really starting to piss me off. "Well, I guess I'll have to pay attention to any new hires," I said acidly.

"We're pretty much at staff now," he shrugged.

"Then I'll generate more business so you'll have to," I said in barely controlled fury.

"Right," he nodded. "And if that doesn't happen. The economy is in a slump. There's a recession you know?"

"Then I guess I'll have to think outside the box," I said leaving him in the living room and going to put my clothes away. Sometimes he was such an ass. He could piss me off more than any human being on the planet. I sometimes wondered why I put up with him.

By the time I had my clothes put up it was past nine and I'd missed the morning meeting. I didn't really care. Ranger was ticking me off and I was fairly sure that the subject of the morning meeting was me and the latest attempt on my life. I didn't think I'd be able to contribute much to it. I hadn't seen anything. I didn't know anything. Nobody had left me any messages. I was out of the loop on this one myself.

I lay back on the bed in my old thinking position and pursed my lips thoughtfully. Ranger had not looked particularly worried about me taking other options. Maybe I needed to expand my horizons a little bit. Maybe he was complacent just because he had his ring on my finger and my parents blessing. Not only that, what were the odds that I'd do something with another man in Trenton where my parents would know before the first hello was fully exchanged? He had me there.

I reached for my cell phone and flipped it open, "yo."

"Yo girl…I need you to come down to the TV station" Lula said quickly.

"Why?"

"Because Brenda is being stupid, Christian is pissed and Marina is about to bitch slap her."

"Oh jeez," I groaned. "Why do you think I can help?"

"Because Christian told me to call you," she said seriously.

"I'm on my way."

I exited the apartment and stopped by Tanks office. "I need a car."

"Where are you going?"

"The TV station," I sighed. "Your wife beckoned me."

"Oh…maybe I better take you then," he grimaced.

"I can do it on my own," I sighed.

He shifted uncomfortably.

"If I sign the papers accepting 20% ownership of this damn company, can I go alone?"

"Probably not," he shrugged. "I mean you could, but Ranger would kick my ass."

"Then I'm definitely not signing any papers," I shook my head. "Let's go."

An hour later we were in the studio and being shown the dressing room.

Sally was lounging on the sofa with his IPod in his ear and a fashion magazine in his hands. Christian was lounging beside him with a scowl on his face.

"Hey," I smiled.

Christian jumped to his feet and ran to me and hugged me tight. "Damn girl, you barely got me moved out of the house before you moved your husband in. Is that any way to treat a friend?"

I laughed, "There's always room in my house for you Christian. But right now it's under renovation. We're going green."

"Well good for you," he nodded. "It doesn't matter anyway. Brenda was driving me insane and Sally needed a room-mate. So I moved in there."

"Cool," I nodded. "So who's having a meltdown and why?"

"Brenda thinks Marina is more beautiful than she is," he raised a brow.

"And…"

"Don't let her hear you say that," he shook his head.

"Why do I care? I don't work for her," I reminded him.

"Right," he sighed. "I won't be for long if she doesn't change her attitude. Besides, Natalie offered me a job. If this whole thing falls through and it's looking as though it is, I'm so covered."

"What about Sally and Lula," I raised a brow.

"Lula is always covered," he grinned. "She's one of those women who can bounce back from anything. She's incredible."

"She is, isn't she?"

"Yea and she's mad at you," he warned me.

"Why," I frowned.

"Because you didn't tell her about you and the Cuban sex god," he grinned.

"Well…it was for her own good," I looked around. "Where is she anyway?"

"Calming Brenda down and probably threatening to beat her old white ass. She says that a lot."

"And Brenda takes it," I said wide-eyed.

"She not only takes it, she seems to love it."

"Good for Lula," I smiled.

Marina came into the dressing room and sighed before hugging me to her, "how are you?"

"Lester told you about the bomb," I raised a brow.

"Of course," she nodded. "You tell me if you need anything. I really owe you big time."

"Why do you owe me?"

"I don't know what you said to Javy," she said referring to her older brother Marshall Javier DeJesus, "but he's been really good with Lester since the cruise. He even spent a weekend here with us and they talked a lot."

"No punches were exchanged," I said in amazement.

"I'm telling you, you did something amazing," she assured me.

"Well, all I did was tell him that you loved each other and that Lester was a different man now."

"Well, thank you. And now you're here to help us with the she beast?"

"I'll be honest with you honey, I've never been good with her. Ranger is good with her."

"I have a feeling Ranger won't come near her with a ten foot pole."

"Your feeling would be correct."

"Why do you come near her?"

"Christian and Lula asked me to. Besides, if I have too I'll stun her or shoot her or something."

"Sounds like a plan," she nodded straight-faced.

Moments later Brenda decided to make her appearance. She slammed the door against the wall when she came in. With most people you would assume that meant they were in a bad temper. For Brenda…that's just the nature of the beast. She was a diva. I mean a diva all the way through.

"Jeez Brenda, you're going to have to pay for any damages," Christian reminded her.

"Bite me," she hissed.

"Don't tempt me," he growled.

"She's in a good mood," I sighed, "Hey Brenda."

"Stephanie," she said narrowing her eyes.

"How are you today?"

"Have you been brought in to control me?"

"Nobody can control you," I shook my head.

"Then why bother to come by," she asked.

"I'm here to find out why you're being a major bitch to my friends."

She was taken aback, "I'm being a bitch?"

"That surprises you," Marina said in shock.

"I'm just…I'm Brenda," she blinked.

"You're being a bitch. This isn't New York. This isn't Hollywood. This isn't even Chicago. You're not a diva here…you're a bitch."

"I'm a bitch," she seemed absolutely stunned. "I'm Brenda."

"Honey," I sighed, "we don't care who you are."

"You don't," she blinked.

"No, we don't. If you're nice to us, we'll be nice to you. If you're a bitch to us, we'll be a bitch to you. Then when they can't take it anymore I'll come in and shoot you."

"You wouldn't shoot me," she blinked in shock.

"You never know. I'm a different woman now than when we last met."

"So I've heard. You married Ranger?"

"And he married me…so hands off the merchandise," I said with a raised brow.

She sighed.

"In any case, you need to stop being a bitch to them. They'll work harder for you if you treat them with kindness. If you keep treating them like shit, you're going to find your ass looking for a new crew. They don't need this job. All of them have other options."

Her eyes filled with tears, "but I like them."

I was surprised. Brenda never really admitted that she liked anybody. But I had a feeling that she more than liked Lula. I had a feeling that Lula was now her girl. Lula was fearless and somebody like Brenda needed a person in their life to give it to them straight. Lula would do that. The only thing Lula was afraid of was cops.

"I really do," she whispered.

"They like you too," I said gently, "when you're not being mean to them."

"Really," she blinked and fat tears drifted down her cheek.

"Really," Christian rolled his eyes. "Jesus woman, you're a doll late at night watching old movies. I love spending time with you then. But when we're here you're like another creature. You're like that thing that comes out of the ceiling in the Alien movie or something."

"I'm sorry Christian," she sighed. "I'm just feeling a lot of stress over this."

"I know you do baby, but you have to stop taking it out on us. Get on treadmill or something. Kill two birds with one stone."

"I could do that," she nodded. "I would get into great shape and get my anger out. If this works out I'll have my foot back in the door in Hollywood."

"And that's our goal for you too," Marina nodded.

"Really," she blushed. "I mean I won't be super famous like I was, but I'll be doing good. I just want a come back."

"You'll get one honey," Christian assured her with a hug. "You just have to be patient. You'll get one. You're Brenda."

"Okay," she nodded. "I believe you."

"Is the situation diffused," I asked leaning against the wall.

"Diffused," Marina nodded.

"Remember Brenda, you're a team. You succeed as a team. If you don't work as a team, you'll fail."

"Got it," she nodded. "I can't be a diva now."

"Not if you want to succeed, no," I agreed.

"Got it," she nodded again.

"Well, if there's nothing else I think I'll go by my house and see how the floors are coming."

"Let me get someone to meet us over there," Tank said as we started out to the car. "If I leave you there my ass is grass."

I rolled my eyes, "grow a set Tank. He's not your boss now. He's your partner."

"Yea…but I happen to agree with him on this one."

"Thanks Tank," I sighed. "I feel like a five year old. Why don't you boys just drop me at Day Care on your way into the office?"

"Steph…"

"It's true. You don't trust me to take care of myself. Now tell me how anything that's happened to me lately is my fault…other than marrying Ranger," I said the last with a bit of a scowl on my face.

He sighed, "Sorry Steph, but you're his wife."

"And…"

"And I would do whatever I could to protect my wife if she was in the same kind of situation you're in."

"Great," I nodded. "I knew you'd be on his side."

"I'm on your side too. We love you. We want you to be safe."

"You've been spending too much time in the burg Tank. You're starting to sound like my mom."

He laughed and followed me out to the parking lot and stopped to kiss Lula on the way through. Lula didn't say anything to me even after I greeted her. She was mad at me. She'd stay mad at me for a while. But she'd get over it. I'd just have to talk her through it.

Tank set up with Mitch to meet us there and then drove me to the house. He was fully in the zone through most of the journey and it was like being with Ranger in the old days. It was silent. The only difference was that I didn't feel the need to jump Tank.

He drove carefully through my neighborhood surveying everything that moved and everything that didn't and finally pulled into my empty driveway.

"Where are the workers," I grunted. "They should be in the house working on tearing out the kitchen by now."

"It looks like your design team has deserted you."

"Crap, you can't trust anybody. Ranger is gonna be pissed."

"Maybe they're waiting for product," he said as we walked to the front door.

"They don't have to wait for product to do demo," I sighed. "They're late."

"Sorry Steph," he said gently. "I know you miss being at home."

"Yea, I do," I sighed.

"We'll just…"

"There's Mitch," I waved. "That means it's safe for you to go."

"Okay Stephanie," he shook his head. "Are you ever coming back to work?"

"I don't know," I said with a scowl.

"Why don't you know?"

"It sort of depends on how much my husband pisses me off," I said seriously.

"I'll never see you in your office again," he sighed.

"That is a strong possibility."

"See you later," he sighed and pulled out of the driveway.

I waited for Mitch, "long time no see."

"Congratulations on your marriage to Ranger. I think it's a long time coming from what I've seen and heard," he said as we entered the house and just stood looking at the unchanged interior.

"Well, no matter what you may have seen or heard, things are not as they seem."

"Oh you mean because it's a sham of a marriage," he raised a brow.

"Who told you that? I can't believe Ranger did…or Tank."

"Manuel," he grinned.

"He's an ass," I sighed.

"He's got video of the wedding," he raised a brow.

"Ass," I growled.

"He's sending you a copy."

"Great," I sighed. "That's just what I need. I get to watch myself drunk and stupid getting married."

"It could be fun," he said in encouragement.

"It could be the most humiliating event of my life," I sighed.

"You won't know unless you watch it."

"Maybe on a rainy day," I sighed. "How do you know Manuel anyway?"

"I met him at the wedding. He was a talkative kind of guy once he had a couple of drinks in him."

"Yea…his ass is grass."

He grinned, "Cut him some slack. I believe that he thinks he was doing you a favor. He thinks you and Ranger belong together. From what I've heard, that's the consensus of most of the people I've talked to."

"Well…what we want and what we really can have long term isn't always the same thing," I sighed heavily. "They haven't done a damn thing. They're supposed to be doing demo."

"Do you want to stay or go," he asked.

"There's no point in staying since the workmen aren't here. We may as well head back to the office."

"Okay," he nodded and we left the house.

"Let me just reset the alarm," I said when we got outside. I lifted my key ring and punched in the code. "Let's go."

I had just gotten into the truck. I don't think I had even closed the door completely when the house blew up. **My **house blew up. The force of the blast sent the SUV tumbling and me along with it since I had not had time to put on my seat belt. I seemed to go in slow motion and it seemed to last a long time. I was flung onto the ceiling, then onto Mitch who grabbed me and we rolled again landing on the driver's side of the vehicle. When the vehicle finally stopped moving I found myself lying on top of Mitch and I was pretty sure I'd broken a rib at the very least.

"Mitch," I whispered.

"I'm fine," he grunted. "Are you okay?"

"Yea…nothing major is wrong. I'd say I'm okay," I sighed.

"Your house is not."

"This is starting to annoy me," I said seriously and shifted slightly to get a little more comfortable.

"We're not going to be able to get out of here without help," he said seriously. "Just get as comfortable as you can and I'll get some help."

"Better make sure they send the EMTs," I sighed. "I think I broke something."

"Damn," Mitch grunted.

"Shit…Ranger's going to kill me."

"Steph," he grinned, "he's not going to be mad at you."

"You'd be surprised," I sighed. "This is really starting to piss me off."

"I can see why it might," he said pulling his phone up to his ear. He didn't bother moving me off of him. What was the point and where could I go? "911 at the home address of Stephanie Plum Manoso. The house just blew up." He paused listening. "Could you hurry? We're in the SUV and we're on the side. I think Steph has some injuries."

"Tell them to make sure Carrie's the EMT responding," I said.

"Who's Carrie," he frowned.

"She's an EMT," I rolled my eyes.

"Yea Lester, I think she's got a head injury too."

"Bite me," I sighed and heard the sirens. The Calvary was on its way.


	8. Chapter 8 Back to the ER

Thank you to everyone for reading and for taking the time to either write me a quick note or leave me a review. For us writers, we love the addition food for the muse. Everything Janet created she owns and everything I created I own. I make nothing off of it and she makes a fortune...some of it from me.

I've attached a link to the Russian Victorian on my profile. Thank you to everyone who asked about it.

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As it turned out the matchmaking gods were listening and Carrie was the EMT on the scene. The firemen got us out of the car and she quickly checked out Mitch even though he protested that she should start with me. Carrie grimaced and said it would take more time to look me over and he may as well get it out of the way. He sighed and agreed.

As soon as she finished with Mitch, she settled me on the side of the EMT vehicle and ran her fingers over me expertly. "Does that hurt or are you wincing for joy," she smirked.

"Definitely for joy," I winced again. "They're broken, ugh?"

"Looks like it. I don't hear anything in your chest so I'm guessing the bone didn't go into your lung. You still need X-Rays and a little wrap on the ribs to keep them from moving around. You have to go to the hospital Stephanie. We need to make sure there's nothing wrong internally."

"Right," I nodded and winced again in pain.

"We'll give you something for pain when we get there. Right now I want to avoid masking any symptoms that may pop up."

"Gee…what else could pop up," I sighed.

At that moment my husband made his appearance. The same husband who was pretty much on my last nerve, the same husband who was telling me not to fix any more of his men up or I'd run out of options…yea…it was the Fidel Castro version of my husband and I was dangerously close to calling him by that name.

Ranger parked his SUV in the cul-de-sac and glared at Mitch and crossed his arms. "What in the hell happened?"

"Don't you want to check on your wife," Mitch raised a brow at Ranger.

Yea…Mitch wasn't afraid of Ranger. I guess he knew he was better at things. Mitch was rapidly becoming one of my favorite people. I winced as Carrie strapped me onto the gurney and raised a brow at her. "Do you think I'm about to make an escape?"

"I've heard stories," she shrugged.

Mitch's voice continued outside the ambulance. "She set the alarm with her remote. We walked to the truck and got in and blammo," Mitch said. "The house blew and we went rolling. The next thing I know we're on the other side of the road and she's landed on me hard. I knew she was okay, because she started talking right away. She wanted me to request a specific paramedic."

"Carrie," Ranger nodded.

"How'd you know?"

"She's new to Trenton and Steph is going to try to fix her up," he shook his head.

Mitch looked over at the ambulance in speculation. "I'd date her."

"Of course you would," he sighed and headed around the ambulance. He stuck his head in and sighed, "Babe?"

"I'm fine."

"If you're fine, why are you going to the hospital?"

"I haven't been for a while," I said nonchalantly.

Carrie grinned, "I think she has a couple of broken ribs and maybe a broken collar bone. She's going to be fine, but I'd feel better if we X-Rayed and made sure there was no internal damage."

"I'd feel better about that too," he said. "Did she give you any problems?"

"Not so far. She hasn't even tried to escape, but I strapped her down just to be sure."

"Thanks for having my back."

"No problem," she nodded.

"You know…I'm right here," I rolled my eyes.

Carrie just grinned at me.

"The guy Stephanie was with, did you check him out?"

"Yea, he's going to be sore, but he's not hurt."

"Good," he nodded. "He…er…he thinks you're cute."

"You don't say," she fought a smile and descended from the back of the ambulance to look up at Ranger.

"Are you matchmaking Mr. Manoso," she said with a smile.

"Er…I'm not, no," he shifted uncomfortably.

I snorted and winced.

"You're not helping," he growled.

She glanced over her shoulder, "Stephanie's trying to fix us up?"

He nodded and sighed.

"Are you assisting?"

"Well," he shrugged in embarrassment.

"I see, since she's down you're carrying the ball," she shook her head.

"Something like that," he admitted.

"Do you know the guy," she asked.

"For more than a decade," he admitted. "He's good people."

"Is he looking to get fixed up?"

"Well, he's new to the area too and I mentioned to him what she was up to and he was…interested."

"Cool," she nodded. "Maybe I better check him out again."

"Maybe you better," he agreed watching her walk away. He turned back to me, "are you happy now?"

"Happier," I nodded. "Well…I was happier until you pointed out that I was running out of options. I like Mitch. It may be a mistake to fix him up."

He didn't reply. He just glared at me.

"No matter," I said dismissively, "I'll just think outside the box. That's where I found Brian. He's a good guy."

"Do you want me to ride with you, or meet you there," he said slowly and very coolly.

"That's entirely up to you," I said unconcerned.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I'm not hurt badly. I don't care if you go to the hospital at all."

"Ambulance or follow," he said between gritted teeth.

"Ranger, I have a couple of broken ribs and that's all."

"That's not really an answer," he said icily.

"I'm not going to die on the way to the hospital," I said with a sigh.

"Are you sure of that," he raised a brow and pinched the bridge off his nose to ward off the headache I hope I was giving him.

"Assuming the mad bomber doesn't strike the ambulance, I should make it fine."

"I'll follow you and meet you there," he said and walked away.

"Okay," I nodded. "I love you too," I muttered after he'd gone. He's a shit.

Yea, I'm still pissed at him.

He beat me to the hospital and when they wheeled me into the ER he was waiting with Dr. Friedman. He was obviously filling him in on my latest escapades as well as our marital status. He'd delivered my new insurance card with my new name to them. They kept a copy on file.

After some X­-Rays, the doctor sat on the end of my ER bed and grinned. "Well, it's a slow day in the ER and I was glad to see you show up especially since you didn't have any life threatening injuries."

"I'm glad to be so entertaining," I sighed.

"You have two broken ribs and you're already starting to bruise really nicely. I think you hit the steering wheel based on the shape. Your collar bone is cracked, but not broken. You have no internal injuries. You have a very slight concussion, but I wouldn't even worry about it. It's so minor, it's hardly noticeable. I can't see any reason for you to even stay awake to make sure the condition is not going to worsen."

"That's good to know," I said.

"She has another head injury," Ranger sighed. "Doc…isn't there some kind of concussion limit before things start getting dangerous?"

"Yea," he agreed. "But fortunately for you all of Stephanie's concussions have been mild. She should be fine."

It was determined that I could return home with Ranger to the apartment on the seventh floor. Just when I thought I was able to make my escape the police showed up and I had to have a long conversation with them. I don't know what they thought I was going to tell them. I knew less than they did. They at least knew what kind of explosive devices were being used. I wasn't even privy to that information. The only good thing was that the police didn't include Joe Morrelli.

Eventually though I was allowed to leave the hospital, but not before the Emergency room doctor, Dr. Friedman, suggested I get on their frequent injury program. Yea…hardee har har. He's a laugh a minute.

The ride home was very quiet. Ranger could be in the zone. Or he could be realizing that I'm very pissed at him. Or he couldn't give a good damn and just wants some peace and quiet. I don't know. He didn't talk and I sure as hell didn't have anything to say to him. I knew I was about to go on serious lock-down. That was enough to make my blood boil. I also knew that there was a very good chance that nobody I knew was going to be on my side about my need or desire to get out of the pretty prison that was the penthouse apartment on Haywood.

Ranger parked the SUV and walked around and lifted me out of the passenger's seat.

"I can walk."

"That's debatable," he said dryly.

"You're blaming me? How in the hell is this mess my fault?"

"I don't know yet."

Okay, now I was really mad. He was blaming me because some psycho nut job felt the need to try to blow me to kingdom come? He was out of his rabid ass mind. I had married this bozo? Drunk or not…I was obviously still in need of major therapy.

He carried me to the elevator and then on into the apartment. He took me straight to the bedroom and settled me on the bed and disappeared.

I shed my black Rangeman gear carefully muttering and cursing the whole time about men and how they were the most idiotic insane creatures on the friggin planet. I was in a foul mood and the pain I was definitely in now was not improving my disposition. I wanted to go home, but I no longer had a home to go to and it was no telling how long it would take to get another one. I had half a mind to catch another plane out of Dodge and just get out.

I was married to that pig. Be careful what you wish for ladies. That's all I'm saying.

I finished changing and was just getting ready to get back into bed when he reappeared.

"Be careful."

"I am being careful," I hissed. "Do you think I like pain? Do you think I'm getting into the fucking bed in the most painful way I can? Just how insane do you think I am?"

"Right," he sighed. He let me settle in and carefully pulled the covers over me. "Ella's bringing you some lunch."

"That's nice," I sighed.

"You want to sit up?"

"I want to go to Italy and leave this mess behind," I glared at him. "But that's not an option."

"No…it's not," he said and lifted me up under my armpits till I sat and adjusted pillows behind me. "Okay…you're good."

"Thanks," I sighed tiredly. I was in pain. There was no way to deny it or to hide it. So I didn't bother. Ranger leaned against the dresser with his arms crossed and just stared at me. He stayed in that position until we were interrupted. If he had something to say, he should just say it.

Ella appeared a few minutes later with a tray of food. After asking a few questions and getting my permission, she opened my pajama top and gasped at the purple, red, blue and black flesh beneath it. "Oh, you poor dear…you must be in terrible pain."

"I've been better," I admitted with a slight smile. "I've also been worse."

She sighed, "We'll take good care of you. Don't you worry about a thing. You just let me know if you have a taste for anything…anything at all."

"Thank you Ella," I smiled.

"You're so welcome honey," she kissed my bruised forehead lightly and started for the door. "I was very happy to hear about your marriage," she smiled. "It's been a long time coming."

"Thank you Ella," I swallowed sadly.

She smiled and left us alone in the bedroom.

Ranger sighed and sank down on the end of the bed and watched me pick at my food for a few minutes before he started talking. "You do look pretty bad."

"Thanks," I tore off a piece of bread from the grilled cheese sandwich.

"I didn't see your bruises at the hospital."

"You weren't in there when he examined me," I shrugged and winced.

"I thought you'd prefer that I wasn't."

I didn't say anything. There was nothing to say.

"Do you feel like talking?"

"I guess," I nodded.

"I have good news and bad news."

"Let me guess…the house blew up," I raised a brow and winced in pain.

He reached for the medicine bottle and shook a pill out into this palm. "Take this."

I took the pill from him and swallowed it chasing it with water.

"The house wasn't salvageable. There's very little left of it," he nodded. "We're going to go over the rubble tomorrow and see if there's anything left."

"Anything left of the bomb or anything left of our belongings?" It occurred to me in that moment that not only had everything I owned (except for five suitcases full of stuff) blown up with the house, but everything Ranger had as well. All he'd brought with him to Haywood had been a duffel bag. He actually lost more personal belongings than I had. That sucked. I sighed, "I'm sorry about your drill."

"Yea…me too," he said quietly. "But I can get another drill."

"Yea," I nodded.

"I'm sorry about all your stuff. Is there anything in particular you want me to look for?"

"My autographed Def Leppard CD," I sighed.

"That's it?"

"Rex's ashes," I whispered.

"I'll find them Babe," he said quietly and squeezed my hand.

"Great," I sighed.

"So that was the bad news," he said.

"And what is the good news?"

"The good news is that the wood for the floors came in."

"Great," I shook my head with a rueful smile.

"We just have to find a house to put them in."

"Great," I nibbled at the sandwich.

"Babe…you're starting to worry me."

"I really don't know anything about these latest attacks on my person. I don't know how this can be my fault. I haven't been anywhere. I haven't done anything. I haven't arrested anyone. I'm not seeing anyone since we're married."

"Right," he frowned.

"So…I don't know why you think it's my fault."

"I don't."

"That's not what you said."

"I know. I'm sorry. I was upset."

"If you're upset because I'm being stalked again…you should be used to it by now. I've had crazies after me for as long as you've known me…pretty much."

"I know. I just…I had hoped that with the word on the street being that you're my wife, it would discourage this kind of thing."

"Well, it obviously doesn't matter to the nuts in Trenton. So there's no point in worrying about it."

"It's not that. I know you don't know anything about that. I'm not worried about that. Well, I am worried about that, but that's not what I was talking about."

"What," I blinked in confusion.

"It's about your eating habits. You've hardly eaten anything for days."

"I still have pictures in my head," I winced as a picture flashed in my head.

"Sorry," he shook his head.

"Not as much as I am," I sighed.

"But you need to eat."

"I know."

"So…try," he said gently.

"Tell me…how is your stomach handling the thought of food these days?"

"It's been better," he admitted. "But I still eat."

"As soon as I can stomach the thought of food I will."

"Well, it's probably not going to help when I tell you this, but your parents are on their way over. They need to see for themselves that you're okay."

"Of course," I sighed.

"Babe…you're all right, right?"

"I'm fine Ranger. I'm much better off than it appears by looking at me."

"Right," he nodded. "They won't stay long. I'll get Reid looking for a house."

"Okay," I nodded and yawned.

"Don't go to sleep until your parents leave."

"I'm so tired," I yawned.

"You need to eat something," he said reaching for the ringing phone. "Speak." He paused listening. "Bring them up." He turned to me, "your parents are here Babe."

"Okay," I sighed sleepily.

Ranger went to the door minutes later, "she's had a pain pill and she's a little sleepy. I don't know how long she'll be aware you're there."

"Okay dear," Mom said patting his cheek gently.

Ranger led them into the bedroom with a bemused expression on his face.

Mom leaned over to kiss my cheek and stepped back for Dad to kiss me, "how are you feeling dear?"

"I'm sore," I admitted.

"Is the house completely gone," Daddy asked Ranger.

"It's rubble. We're going to go through the mess tomorrow and see if there's anything to salvage."

"You'll find another house," my mother said quietly as she gently tucked the blankets around me. "It was a lovely house, but I think you really need something different."

"Like what," I said sleepily.

"Ever since you were a little girl you wanted a Victorian. Not just any old Victorian either. You wanted a Russian Victorian. Even as a little girl you knew just what you liked. I always thought you'd get it too."

"I remember, I had to take the first doll house back," my father chuckled.

"Oh yes," I smiled. "Then you brought me back the red and purple one."

"The Russian Victorian," Mom smiled and poured more water into my glass of ice. "So I think I always imagined you'd live in one of those. You could raise very nice…er…kittens and puppies in a house like that."

Ranger chuckled.

"Right," I nodded.

Mom smiled, "Well, you have plenty of time to find a new place. This one is very nice."

I glanced around and stopped at the sheets. "The sheets are 1500 count."

"Oooh," she said as she fingered the sheets. "Those are nice."

My father lifted a brow at Ranger and he shrugged.

"I'm really sleepy," I whispered and rolled to my stomach and closed my eyes.

My mother patted my leg and I heard them leave the room and that was all I knew for a long while.


	9. Chapter 9 Seventh Floor

Ms. Janet Evanovich owns everything she created and hopefully makes millions. She allows us to use and abuse those creations as long as we return them, which I will eventually do. Those characters she didn't create, I did. I, however, make nothing whatsoever off of them except the joy of telling a story and that won't buy me a diet coke. Enjoy.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning I was hurting in places I don't think I was even aware that I had. I suppose that if I thought back to Boston I'd be able to remember a feeling similar to this one, but right now all I was aware of was the hazy pain. I think I woke up crying.

Ranger sat me up very gently and gave me a pill and some water and lay me back down. I'd have happily gone back to sleep but I had to go to the bathroom. Life is sometimes very inconvenient that way.

He took me to the bathroom and left me to do my business. I really wanted to take a shower and wash my hair, but there was no way I was going to be able to do that by myself and there was no way I was going to ask my _husband_ for help. I knew he wasn't in a hurry to divorce me. But I didn't know why. I suspected it was because he loved me. But I couldn't be sure. Until I was sure, I couldn't ask him for anything. I didn't even want to ask him to come and get me from the bathroom, but I didn't think I'd make it back on my own.

I glanced at the shower and sighed. It wasn't going to happen. Maybe if I could make it to the bathtub I'd be all right there. I eased my way to the other side of the bathroom and rested against the sink wearily. I was so tired. I brushed my teeth and gazed at the bathtub longingly.

Ranger knocked on the door, "Babe, are you okay?"

"I…I'm fine," I said turning the water on in the tub with one hand while holding on to the sink with the other.

"Are you taking a shower," he asked. I could hear panic in his voice.

"No," I said slipping out of my pajama bottoms and pouring a little bit of the bubble bath into the tub. The sweet honeysuckle fragrance filled the air quickly and I sighed.

"I hear water," he blurted.

"It's the bathtub," I said tossing my pajama top to the side with my bottoms. I contemplated the tub with a frown. There was no way I was going to be able to lift my leg over the side of that deep soaker tub. No way in this world.

Ranger pushed the door open and blinked at me in astonishment. I was standing there naked and trembling and I was clearly very unhappy. "Babe," he groaned. "You can't do this."

"I have to," I whispered. "I feel nasty."

"We'll give you a sponge bath."

"That won't help my hair," I sighed. Not that anything really could help my hair most days.

He sighed and took a deep breath and seconds later he was beside me and naked. He picked me up in his arms and got into the tub and sank down in the warm fragrant water with me. He reached for the spray nozzle and rinsed my hair gently avoiding the bruises. He studied each cut thoughtfully to make sure it wasn't more serious than he thought before he reached for the shampoo and lathered my head.

"Oh God," I sighed relaxing against him. "If you ever decide to give up this whole security business you'd make an excellent hair washer at Mr. Alexander's."

"I'll keep that in mind," he said softly. He rinsed the lather from my hair and then rubbed in the conditioner just as carefully. He reached for my honeysuckle body wash and my bath scrunchy and began to wash me.

"I can do that part," I said swallowing.

"I'm not sure you'll be awake long enough to do it," he said with a slight smile. "The pill you took, without food, is going to be in your system in no time."

"I am very relaxed," I admitted and stretched lazily. I felt like a sleepy cat.

He groaned.

"Something wrong," I said sleepily.

"No," he said softly and began to soap my body gently.

I relaxed against him letting him do all the work. I could feel his arousal against my back. In a way, this was pay back. If he just told me that he loved me I'd find a way to take care of that for him. I smiled to myself and stretched sleepily again. This brought another small moan from him.

By the time he had me good and rinsed off I was very, very sleepy and kept drifting off.

"I'm sorry," I murmured when as I shook my head in an attempt to clear the cobwebs.

"No worries," he whispered and ran his lips gently over my shoulder. "I've got you Babe. Go to sleep."

"Sleep," I sighed and let my eyes drift closed.

I woke up what was probably hours later in the bed naked and clean. I started to stretch and winced and my stomach growled at the same time. I was hungry. It had been a long time since I was truly hungry.

Ranger sank down on the side of the bed. "Good you're awake. You missed breakfast, but lunch is here. Do you want to eat in bed or would you like to try to go and sit on the sofa?"

I blushed remembering the bath. "Er…whichever is easiest for you and Ella is fine."

"I think it might be a good idea to try to sit up," he said with a slight smile.

"It probably will be."

"All right then," he reached for a one of his clean tee shirts and pulled it over my head. Then he pushed the covers back and ignored the fact that I was naked from the waist down and picked me and carried me into the living room. He put me to my feet pulling the tee shirt down over my hips and then settled me gently on the sofa. "We have chicken Marsala, broccoli and for dessert some kind of chocolate decadence. I'll probably forgo that, but you eat as much as you want."

"I don't really need it."

"You can afford it. You're getting thin."

"That's a bad thing," I raised a brow.

"Babe," he sighed. "You're beautiful either way, but you're more beautiful with a couple more pounds on you."

"I'll take that under advisement."

"The cops have been by," he said quietly.

"What did they have to say?"

"The bombs were amateur," he shrugged.

"They were good enough to get the job done. I'm down a house and a car."

He grimaced, "if you'd been in either one of them it would have been enough to kill you. There's someone who obviously intends to kill you out there. Are you sure that you have no idea who it could be?"

"Of course I'm sure. Look…I've tracked and picked up a few FTAs, you know that, but most of them weren't the kind of people that would want me dead for it…unless they were drunk. I mean most of them bonded right back out. I can't see myself as becoming anyone's target for that. The most serious cases I've had have been since I've been with Rangeman. You know Manuel isn't after me."

"Absolutely," he nodded.

"So…Veronica is in Paris," I ticked off.

"Veronique," he raised a brow with a slight smile.

"Whatever," I shrugged. "Morty is dead. Lois is dead," I swallowed. "I assume that Linda and Dr. King are in federal prison awaiting trial. Who does that leave Ranger?"

"I guess we need to run over our files and try to figure something out. I'll call Connie and get a list of the FTA's you brought in and we'll take a look at where their lives are now. Maybe that will give us some perspective," he sighed.

"It couldn't hurt. I've got my laptop, I can do some research up here."

"You're definitely not coming downstairs. If people see you looking like you look now they'll accuse me of being a lousy husband."

I shook my head, "if it was anyone but me I might agree with you, but it's me. Most of these people know that I just attract lunatics."

"True," he nodded. "Do you want to stay up or shall I take you back to bed?"

"I better go back to bed. I don't think I can start the research today," I sighed.

"That's fine. Connie has to get me a list anyway," he gently lifted me up in his arms and carried me into the bedroom and put me on the bed. "Reid emailed me some listings and I eliminated a few. He's going to set up some virtual tours for us so you can look at that and see if there's anything you want to see in person."

"Virtual tours," I nodded, "a lot of houses have those these days."

"Especially in our price range," he agreed.

"What is our price range," I shrugged.

He smiled, "enough."

"Ranger…I paid less than three hundred thousand for the house. I can't afford a bigger house. I won't be able to buy shoes."

He laughed, "You'll be able to buy shoes at Macy's, but you may not be able to afford Manolo."

"You know what I mean," I shook my head.

"I know what you mean, but I'm going to live there too."

"For how long," I asked with a sigh as he walked to the door.

"Long enough," he shrugged and disappeared.

"Ass," I muttered. So I don't sign the paperwork to take twenty percent of Rangeman therefore he was going to find some other way to make sure that I got his money. That wasn't right. I didn't know what I was going to do to get around this. He was smart. He had the money. And he was my husband. I sighed and rolled gingerly to my side. He sucked.

The next time I opened my eyes it was night. It was quiet in the bedroom but I could feel his presence even if I didn't feel his touch. He was quiet and watching me. I thought about pretending to stay asleep, but if I knew him he already knew that I was awake.

"Did you get the information from Connie," I sighed.

"She's going to email it to me in the morning," he said quietly. "I guess it takes a long time to run the report. You obviously brought in a lot more people than I'd suspected."

"Probably," I said tiredly. "What time is it?"

"Almost nine," he replied.

"Great," I groaned.

"Are you hungry?"

"Famished," I admitted. "I also need to use the bathroom again."

"Do you need help?"

"I'll let you know in a minute," I said sitting up gingerly and moving to plant my feet on the floor. At least my side of the bed was closer to the bathroom. That was a plus. It was farther from the kitchen. I got slowly to my feet and reached for the wall making it in time to steady myself. I was dizzy. That's what you get with friggin head injuries. Duh!

He scooped me up, "your eyes are rolling around in your head." He took me into the bathroom and set me to my feet beside the toilet and left me alone.

I was grateful that he didn't feel the need to stay in there with me while I went. At least I had a small amount of privacy…not to mention dignity.

I finished and made it to the sink to wash my hands. Ranger came into the bathroom as soon as I reached for the towel to dry my hands. "You made that okay?"

"It was three feet. I suppose even I can go three feet without falling on my ass."

"Sure…now you can," he agreed scooping me up and carrying me into the dining room. The table was set and there were a couple of warming trays on the table.

"Ella is a Godsend," I sighed.

"Yes, she is. I will tell you that I miss our kitchen though. I appreciate Ella, don't get me wrong, but I miss just talking while we made dinner."

I nodded quietly. I missed it to. I didn't know what to say to him. I could say, 'gee Ranger, that sounds very domestic of you' or 'you know you want to spend the rest of your life with me big guy, why don't you admit it' or maybe 'you know if you want me in your kitchen for the rest of your life, just tell me that you love me and want to stay married to me for eternity'. I could have said any of those things and meant every word, but I didn't. I stayed quiet. He needed to tell me this time. If he couldn't tell me that he loved me and wanted to be married to me, then there was really no point in anything.

"Are you all right," he raised a brow slightly.

I nodded. There was no reason to let him know my feelings. He knew a lot already. He knew too much.

He didn't say anything, but took the lids from the chafing dishes and served two plates. "Is this all right? Do you want something else?"

"I'm sure it's wonderful," I studied the plate in front of me without seeing. I was famished, but now I was just tired again. Who knew that a trip to the bathroom would be enough to wear a girl out? Maybe it was more the emotional crap. Who can say?

I picked at my food. It tasted good, but I wasn't hungry after all. Ranger didn't say anything, but he watched me with concern on his face. I'm not sure living together was going to end up being such a good idea. I believed he wanted to stay married to me, but there was no way for me to be completely sure unless he told me. I didn't know how long he felt he could drag it out. I could be a complete basket case by then.

"Steph," he finally said softly. "Are you in pain?"

"Yes," I nodded. Did it matter which one he was asking me about? I felt both physical and emotional.

"If I tell you something to make you smile will you promise not to hold it over my head forever?"

I was intrigued. "Hmm…I don't know. I'm not good at that."

"I know. That's why I'm extracting the promise beforehand."

"Wise move grasshopper," I bit my lip. How bad could it be? "Okay, I promise not to hold it over your head forever." Okay, I used his words. I knew that meant that there was a loophole. Forever is a long time. Neither of us was going to live forever. How could I hold it over him forever in that case? That left me a lot of time to annoy him with it.

"Right," he nodded. "I had to come back upstairs and shower again after your bath this morning."

"Why," I asked.

"Because…after taking three men to the mats in the afternoon because they kept telling me how pretty I smelled, I stank."

I remembered the honeysuckle bath and grinned, "Poor baby."

"Yea," he said grimly. "Gabe and Woody probably won't do it again, but I have a feeling that Lester really doesn't care and will do it if I smell that way again…ever."

"I am sure that you are right," I smiled.

"Can't you get a more masculine bath oil?"

I raised a brow, "Do you want me to smell like a guy?"

He made a face, "no."

"You can't have it both ways," I reminded him.

"Fine…I'll be spending a lot of time on the mats," he sighed.

"On the plus side, it probably means that you can have as much dessert as you can stomach."

"Well, isn't that just…"

"Yea, isn't it," I grinned.


	10. Chapter 10 Computers & McMansions

I borrowed some of Janet Evanovich's creations and eventually I will give them back. I added some of my own to the mix and I make nothing off either.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning I was alone in the big bed. I was also feeling much better. Oh, I was still sore, but the soreness didn't hamper my ability to get into the shower or high tail it into the kitchen the moment I smelled whatever delicious thing that Ella had brought for me to experience.

I sat down to eat my breakfast and called 'come in' at the knock on the door.

"Hey beautiful," Lester smiled studying my bruised and battered face. After a few moments of study he nodded in satisfaction, "I've seen you look worse."

"Thanks," I shook my head, "I think."

He grinned. "So Ranger asked me to come up here and make sure you could log onto his computer here."

"I have my laptop," I reminded him.

"Yea, but his computer is hardwired into the system. Your searches will go much faster without having to dig through the firewalls first. Besides, this baby is state of the art."

"Of course it is," I said dryly and offered him some biscuits.

"Thanks," he grabbed a biscuit and some sausage and went over to the computer and sat down. He logged on and played with it for a few minutes. "All right, you're good to go. I had to add you as a user to his computer. Oh and you know we've changed your name in the system, so when it comes up Stephanie Manoso…that's you."

"Really," I rolled my eyes.

He grinned, "Anyway I know you have a lot of skips to figure out." He reached behind him on the table and grabbed a file folder. "This is the hard copy of your list. We've gone in and deleted anyone that's dead or behind bars. Actually, they've just been moved to secondary while we look to see if anyone is mad at you on their behalf. We took out Mooner, Morelli, Sally and all of your usual suspects slash friends. It leaves you with an interesting bunch of apprehensions. You were way more successful than any of us realized."

"You guys helped a lot," I shrugged.

"We don't recognize a lot of the names."

"They were probably elderly people," I giggled.

"Right," he shook his head with a smile. "Anyway what you have left is the most likely suspects of the bunch and quite honestly I wouldn't make bets on any of them being our perp. You look through them and tell me what you think and in the meantime we're going to continue looking into the other possibilities."

"Got it," I nodded.

"Let us know if you get a tingle."

"Sure," I agreed watching him head for the door, "but if I do it could just be pain medication."

He laughed, "I'll try to keep that in mind."

I finished my breakfast and washed the dishes and put them on the tray. I was used to taking care of myself now and maybe it would make Ella's job a little easier. After cleaning up I went into the bedroom to finish putting away my things. I was about to make the bed when Ella knocked.

"Come on in," I called.

"Dear…are you trying to put me out of a job," she grinned and raised a brow at me.

"Nope, I'm just trying to make your life easier. Your job is hard enough having to take care of Ranger and his Merry Men without me as an added burden."

"You've never been a burden Stephanie," she said seriously.

"Thank you Ella," I smiled.

She circled around the bed and made my side while I made Rangers. "I'm very sorry about your house."

"Me too," I sighed. "I loved that house. I loved everything in it. It was my first real house. You know what I mean?"

"I do," she nodded.

"And I miss my kitchen," I sighed. "I love your food Ella, but I really do like cooking now. I miss it."

"Well, make me a grocery list and I'll get whatever you want and you can cook up here."

"It won't hurt your feelings," I said seriously.

"Lord no child," she laughed. "I have plenty of mouths to feed around here. But if they keep getting married and moving away…"

"As fast as they do that more will come to be taken care of," I assured her. "Rangeman is growing at an alarming rate no matter what is going on in the economy."

"That certainly appears to be the case," she agreed. "As a matter of fact Ranger and Tank have hired me some day help. He hired two people just to help me clean. I suppose I am doing more cooking than before. It's nice to have someone else around to just vacuum and dust."

"I hate vacuuming," I sighed.

She laughed, "Is that why you were getting hardwood floors?"

I grinned, "Ranger wanted them…but believe me I agreed in a heartbeat."

"Well, it looks like you've got everything under control up here. I'll go start on lunch for the boys now. When you get that list together just email it to me and I'll take care of it."

"Thank you Ella. Ranger and I like cooking together," I smiled.

"Has he made you salmon before?"

"Of course," I laughed. "Isn't that his only dish?"

"Oh no," she shook her head with a smile, "you need to get him to make you his breakfast burrito. They're fabulous."

"I'll try to talk him into it."

"It shouldn't be too hard," she said. "I'll put the ingredients on your list."

"Cool," I nodded.

She waved as she went out the door.

I sat down at the computer and logged on. Yep, I was Stephanie Manoso now. It was kind of weird that none of the guys had given us a hard time about getting married on the sly or keeping it a secret. It made me wonder if any of them already knew. I made a mental note to ask the next guy who came up to seven.

I clicked on the folder on the desktop labeled 'Stephs Skips' and when the spreadsheet opened, I was stunned. I had been prolific. Of course, many were repeat offenders but the number was still pretty good sized considering that I'd only done it for about three years. It was hard to believe I didn't have more money than I'd had. I suppose it could be my shoe obsession. I shrugged off the thought and leafed through the names. Lester was right. Nobody on that list was trying to take me out. More than half of the remaining list was senior citizens and the few that were the most likely age group were usually in too much of a drunken stupor to ever make a bomb successfully. No, the list was a dead end. Hopefully the guys would have better luck with their searches.

I closed out of the file and called Lester and told him there were no tingles and I was pretty sure there were no suspects on the list. He sighed before he hung up. I think we were all hoping for an easy fix to this problem.

There was a file laying on the desk with our Realtor, Reid's, name on it. I figured it was the information on the houses we could virtually tour. I entered the URL and went to the first virtual tour. The house was beautiful. It was sleek and modern and completely finished with expensive detail and top of the line everything. It was new and amazing and so totally not my house.

"What do you think," he said in my ear.

I jumped, "what have I told you about sneaking up on me?"

He grinned and kissed my bare neck, "that you love it?"

"Bite me," I shook my head.

So he nipped my neck.

"Hey," I whirled around to glare up at him.

"You told me to," he said straightening and putting his hands up in innocence.

I narrowed my eyes and studied him. He was in a good mood. There had to be a reason for it.

"What do you think of the house?"

"It's very pretty," I said nicely and turned back to the computer.

"But…"

"I didn't say but," I shrugged.

"I know you Babe," he shook his head with a smile. "There was definitely a 'but' in there."

"Okay fine," I nodded. "The house is beautiful and perfect and we could buy furniture and move right in…"

"But…"

"But it's already done," I sighed. "There's no way to put my own mark on that house. I'd be afraid I'd mess up the friggin Feng Shui and Lula would never let me hear the end of it."

He grinned, "All right…what about the others?"

"That was the first one I looked at," I admitted.

He grabbed a chair from the dining table and dragged it over and turned it around backwards and straddled it. "Let's see the next one then."

"All right," I agreed and entered the URL.

The second house was on the river and it was also breathtakingly beautiful. It was some sort of southern mansion house with huge columns and lots of verandas. The lawn was wide and well manicured.

"There's plenty of room for a puppy," Ranger said absently.

"He'd be afraid to mess up the rose bushes," I muttered.

The house was also completely finished and updated with top of the line everything. The difference in this house and the last was first the style and second the color scheme. I don't know if I'd have to paint every room, but I'd have to paint a couple. Once again I was pretty sure I'd mess up the Feng Shui.

"I…er…" Ranger frowned and pursed his lips thoughtfully.

"Yea," I sighed.

"Let's take it off the list. I don't know if it's the red hooker bathroom or the mirrors all over the place, but I'm feeling a little bit uncomfortable about that one."

"Yea," I agreed and closed it entering the next URL.

Ranger gasped the moment he saw the house. I don't blame him really. I was sort of like the Munster's house. But it definitely wasn't that pretty. "What the hell was he thinking," he shook his head.

"It has eighteen thousand square feet," I said thoughtfully.

"There's a fucking cemetery in the front yard Babe," he pointed out with a shiver.

"Do you think everyone buried in the yard died in the house at some point," I raised a brow curiously. Yea…okay, I'm a little morbid. I like horror movies.

"Look Babe," he said leaning over me to type in the next URL, "we have enough living people making our lives hell without adding the dead to it."

He had a point.

The next house was a McMansion in a new neighborhood not too far from the burg.

"It has nice curb appeal."

"There's no yard," I blinked. "It's like zero lot line. Where in the hell would the puppy do his business?"

"Maybe there's a backyard," he frowned watching the screen as the tour continued.

"Oh crap," I sighed as it panned to the back of the house. "Its patio and postage stamp. I don't know about this one."

"Put in the next one," he agreed.

I typed in the next URL.

"It's a condo," he frowned.

"No, it's a penthouse apartment in downtown Trenton," I shook my head. "That's definitely not puppy friendly."

"Next," he said leaning over to type.

The house that came up was a Victorian and it was gorgeous. It had beautiful yard and a manicured garden on the side. The inside was also gorgeous and completely updated.

Ranger watched my face, "is this a good one?"

"It's okay," I agreed and studied each room. "The rooms are sort of small."

"Yea," he turned back to the screen. "And the closet space is almost nonexistent."

"Yea," I sighed. "I suppose I could get rid of some of my clothes. I mean I almost never do distractions… Never mind…I forgot they're all blown to kingdom come."

He laughed, "That's one way to make room in your closet for the next year's styles.

"Ha," I shook my head as my lip twitched.

"So you like this one," he said with a smile, "but it's not quite perfect?"

"No," I sighed. "It's good though."

"Shall we look at the next one?"

"Sure," I agreed letting him type the URL in.

The next house was somewhere in the historical district of Trenton. Okay, I know you're surprised to hear that Trenton has a historical district, but it does. The house was large and grand and very well maintained and even better preserved and updated, but it had virtually no yard and what yard it did have was covered in brick.

I sighed, "oh well, I would have liked that one."

"Yea," he nodded thoughtfully. "That's all we've got for now."

"Okay," I said getting to my feet and heading for the door. Ella was there with Cal, Tank and Lester and lots of bags. "Oh my," I blinked.

"I got you some things at the grocery and while I was out I picked up some other things for you. I know a lot of your things were destroyed so I just though you may need a couple of things."

"Thank you Ella," I smiled and kissed her head.

The groceries went into the kitchen and I followed behind the guys while she headed for the bedroom to put away the things she'd both me and Ranger at various other places. The guys helped me as much as they could in the small kitchen and I appreciated it considering that I was really starting to get tired again. I thanked the guys and Lester and Tank headed out. Cal went over to lean over Ranger while he looked at a couple of the houses again.

"That one's nice," Cal said thoughtfully. "Where is it?"

"About fifteen miles from the office," Ranger said.

"Is it one that you and Steph are interested in?"

"No," he shook his head.

"Do you mind if I show it to Natalie? I think she'd love that house. The yard is great."

"Lots of kids would fit," Ranger nodded and scribbled down the URL and handed it to him. "Go ahead."

"Thanks," he clapped Ranger on the back and headed out the door blowing me a kiss.

I smiled and sank down in the chair Ranger had pulled over as Ella exited the bedroom.

"You look tired dear," she said coming over and pushing curls out of my face. "And your face is a little flushed. I know you want to cook yourself, but why don't you wait till tomorrow for that? Let me do it tonight."

"I think that's probably a good idea," I nodded with a shaky smile.

She disappeared and returned with a pain pill and a bottle of water.

I sighed thankfully and took the pill.

"I'll have dinner up soon so you can get to bed early.

"Thank you Ella. If I haven't told you lately, you're a Godsend."

She laughed, "You have, but I still appreciate it." She hurried out.

I turned to see Ranger regarding me thoughtfully. "I didn't realize you were starting to get tired or that you were hurting."

"It came on pretty fast. I was on my feet reaching for too long."

He nodded. "Do you feel up to looking at one more house? Reid just emailed me the virtual tour link."

"Sure," I agreed. "Which house did Cal want to see?"

"The scary one," he shook his head. He pulled me over into his lap and clicked on the link.

This time I gasped and for a change, it wasn't because my husband was so damn hot and sexy. The house was perfect.

"It's a Russian Victorian," I whispered breathlessly. "It's even red and purple just like my doll house."

"That's what your doll house looked like?"

"Yes," I breathed.

Once again the house had a huge yard. It, however, wasn't perfectly manicured. In fact, it needed a lot of work. The inside of the house needed a lot of work as well. But before we even realized that there was only one bathroom and it was on the second floor, I was in love. The house was perfect. Well, it was almost perfect, it did look a little scary. There were some broken windows and the yard was overgrown and it looked liked some of the porch was rotted away and... It was almost perfect...maybe.

Ranger leaned around to get a peek at my face. I was staring at the screen raptly. "This one you like?"

"This one I love," I nodded.

"Are you serious?"

I nodded again.

"Babe…this one needs a ton of work."

"I know," I smiled dreamily.

He clicked on the floor plan of the home and studied it thoughtfully. "It's on the river."

"Yea," I sighed blissfully and my drugs hadn't even begun to work yet.

"It's eight thousand square feet," he frowned at the picture. "It didn't look that big."

"The rooms are small. There are a lot of them though," I sighed.

"It needs a lot of work."

"I know," I nodded.

"What if it's a money pit?"

"It could be," I said quietly.

"But you love it?"

"I love it," I agreed. "We could knock down that wall and that one and make a master suite with a huge walk in closet and a fantastic bathroom and it will still give us the space to put three more bedrooms on that floor with at least two bathrooms maybe three." My finger flicked to another wall, "this wall could come down too and we could open up the kitchen and make it a huge room with a breakfast room and family room. There's room for everything there and did you see the solarium? I think there used to be an indoor pool in there. How cool would that be if we could put it back into place?"

He nodded and I was sure he was seeing my vision.

"And the full basement has a great ceiling height. We'd have to finish it out, but the possibilities are endless there."

"There's no garage," he pointed out.

"There's plenty of room here to build at least a three car garage," I pursed my lips thoughtfully. "We can make it blend in with the rest of the house and sort of into the woods."

"It's a great location," he said thoughtfully.

"Is it," I tilted my head.

"And I can protect it," he sighed. "I'll call Reid and find out when we can see it."

"Really," I wriggled around to look at him.

"Really," he nodded. "We need some place to put all those bamboo floors."

I grinned and hugged his neck. It was way more house than I'd ever need on my own. I knew that. He knew that. This was going to be a house for a family. It would be a house for our family. Well…as soon as he admitted that's what we were.


	11. Chapter 11 Reception Prep

I am borrowing the characters that Janet Evanovich created and is hopefully making a small fortune off of. I am mixing her characters with my own creations and I'm not making anything. Lucky Janet Evanovich...sigh...

* * *

Before I was even awake the next morning my phone was ringing and my mother was there in my ear.

"Stephanie dear, we need you and Ricardo to come to the house for lunch and help us decide about the catering."

Ricardo? When did she start calling him Ricardo? "Er…well…"

"I know you've got another stalker," she said calmly. "I'm sure Ricardo is taking good care of you, but we really need to make some decisions or your reception is just going to be a mess. I got the hall. I couldn't believe that Macy Reynolds' daughter called off her wedding and I heard about it at just the right time. We have the hall so we need to finish making the necessary arrangements."

I blinked and glanced over at Ranger who was blinking at me sleepily, "I'll talk to _Ricardo_ and get back to you, okay Mom?"

"Thank you dear. That's all I ask," she said and disconnected.

"Ricardo," he yawned and raised a brow at me at the same time. How in the heck did he do that? I'd barely figured out how to raise one eyebrow by itself. That was hard work. And it sure wasn't pretty. I think I even sprained a brow at one point. That's so not right. He and the Rock need to cut back on that and give the rest of us mortals a chance to shine.

"That was my mother. When did she start calling you Ricardo?"

He shrugged. "It's my name Babe."

"No kidding," I rolled my eyes in exasperation. "Anyway, she got the hall," I winced remembering my last reception there, "and she needs us to help firm up a caterer so they can get this thing organized."

He frowned, "the hall?"

"The VFW hall," I sighed patiently. "It's THE place in the burg to have your reception or whatever party."

"You don't say," he shook his head. "Do you want to have it there?"

"No," I said seriously. "That's where the Dick and I had ours."

"Really," he raised a brow. "Well, do you think we can talk her into changing the venue if I come up with something else that's spectacular?"

"Maybe," I said chewing my bottom lip.

"I have some ideas," he pursed his lips thoughtfully.

"Knock yourself out," I rolled back over and put my head under my pillow. He had some ideas? He could come up with an alternate location that was spectacular? Who in the hell did I marry?

He leaned over and lifted the pillow and kissed me on the neck and bounced out of bed, "I'll call Mom."

"Mom," I squeaked.

"You know…your mother," he said merrily. Yes, it was merrily.

"Great," I mumbled. Mental note to self…check entire Rangeman facility for possibility of pods aka _**Invasion of the Body Snatchers**_.

"Go back to sleep Babe," he said patting my ass and disappearing into the bathroom.

I pulled the pillow off my head and stared at the bathroom door shaking my head. Who the hell did I marry? This was not the guy I knew before. This was not the guy I knew before I married him. I rolled to my back. But then, what did I really know about him? I'd met his daughter, his ex-wife and her husband and that was it. I knew he had other family, but I'd never met them. I assumed he had parents. I know he has a brother and four sisters. I mean he could have been hatched for all I know about his family. I know he went to college for a couple of years, I think he told me Rutgars. I don't know if he went in as enlisted or as an officer in the military. I think he was an officer, but I could be wrong. Maybe he earned his way to being an officer. In any case, he was an officer in the Special Forces. He was smart. They don't let idiots in Special Forces.

Truth was, I didn't know anything for certain except that he was a great kisser and a better lover and he was… Okay, I knew more than that, but I didn't know the intimate details. Oh sure, I knew THOSE intimate details, but well…you know what I mean.

I rolled back over and snuggled under the covers. He wasn't perfect, but he was willing to deal with my mom and let me sleep longer. Maybe he was perfect. Anyway, he was close enough.

Hours later we pulled in front of my parent's house and parked.

"So, did you tell her that you wanted to move the reception?"

"Not yet," he grinned.

"Do you have something up your sleeve?"

"Yep," he grinned and got out and ran around the Cayenne to let me out of the car.

"What?"

"You'll see," he grinned and took my hand and meshed our fingers together. "Come on. You're gonna love it."

"Stephanie, Ricardo," my mother beamed. "I'm so glad you could make it."

"We wouldn't miss it Mom," he beamed.

"I'm so glad. Do you know anything about those men in the black cars out there," she asked.

"We have some guys watching your house," Ranger said with a smile and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "When Steph has a crazy after her, we like to make sure those she loves are safe too."

"Aren't you the sweetest thing," she smiled. "Did you hear that Frank? Ricardo is making sure we're safe."

"I heard him," he said coming into the foyer and shaking Ranger's hand robustly. He leaned over and kissed me, "you look better than I expected Pumpkin."

"I've been sleeping a lot."

"Have you found a house yet?"

"We're looking," Ranger said quietly. "But with what's been going on, it's not as easy as we'd like it to be."

My father nodded in understanding.

"Lunch is ready," mom smiled. "Your grandmother is out on a day tour with her senior group so it's just us. Shall we," she waved toward the dining room.

It was an Italian feast. There was spaghetti and manicotti and lasagna. There was garlic bread, salad and minestrone.

"Wow," I blinked at the loaded table, "are you expecting more people?"

"No, I just wanted enough for tonight," she shrugged.

I swallowed back the bile imagining just what that would be.

"Stephanie dear, aren't you excited that we got the hall?"

"About that mom," I winced.

"What Stephanie was about to say is really… Well, really it's my problem. You see, I heard that she and Dickie had their reception at the hall and that Joe was insisting that's where they should have it when they were together and well…"

"Oh dear," Mom said frowning. "I just didn't think of that. Stephanie definitely doesn't need any reminders of either of those failed relationships."

"Bastards," my father interjected.

"Yes that," she nodded in agreement. "I'll cancel the hall in the morning. Stephanie dear, do you have any ideas about where we should have it instead?"

"Actually," Ranger said with a smile and reached into his jacket pocket, "I have an idea. What would you think about making a weekend of it?" He gave her a brochure for the Ocean Place Resort and Spa in Long Branch. It was an upscale resort on the Jersey shore. It was a place I used to dream of going.

Mom gasped, "oh my."

"We could gather there with all of our friends and family and have some fun and the reception and you and Stephanie can spend some time in the spa."

She beamed at him, "do you think they can accommodate our guest list?"

"I gave them a call this morning. They have been doing renovations during the winter and are almost ready to reopen. They're willing to reopen the weekend prior for us. It will give us the beautiful location and them the practice they need to prepare for their grand reopening."

"I think it's a wonderful idea," she admitted. "But what will we do about the catering and the flowers and such?"

"We can either leave it to them or we can meet with them and decide everything together."

"I like that idea," she nodded. "I mean it's not really yours if someone else makes all the decisions."

"Right," he smiled and lifted my hand and kissed my ring clad fingers.

"What do you think Frank?"

"I can always use a weekend at the shore. Granted it will still be fairly cold in March, but at least it won't stink as bad as Trenton."

We all sat quietly for a moment and thought about that.

"The manicotti is delicious Mom," Ranger said a few moments later.

I glanced at him sideways. Seriously…who did I marry?

"Thank you Ricardo," she beamed. "It's one of Frank's favorite dishes too. Do you have any favorites?"

"I make a broiled salmon that I like."

"What about what Stephanie cooks?"

"Everything she cooks is incredible," he said seriously. "I love her stuffed flounder and her mushrooms, oh my God," he groaned. "They're fantastic."

She nodded, "I'm afraid we haven't had a chance to really taste much of Stephanie's food."

"Once we get settled into a house again we'll have to make a point of having you over for dinner more often, don't you think Babe?"

I swallowed, "er…of course."

Mom and Dad both beamed at that one.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to change the subject," Ranger said sorrowfully. "Why don't you check your calendar and let me know when it would be a good time for you to go with us to Long Branch and we'll meet with the hotel folks and make those decisions we were talking about."

"That's a grand idea," Mom nodded. "And we need to think about cake. Most hotels don't do the cake. We have to find someone who'll do the cake for us."

"Actually," Ranger said and turned slightly red. "My Aunt Sophia owns a bakery in Newark. She makes delicious cakes and if I use anyone but her…"

"Say no more," my father nodded, "it doesn't do to have family mad at you."

"No, it certainly doesn't," Mom agreed. "Well then, that's decided. So…we'll figure the rest out later."

"Right," he nodded.

"Stephanie dear, you've been very quiet. Are you all right?"

"Oh you know," I smiled tremulously, "I've just had a concussion and all. This is a little overwhelming along with everything else going on. I was just thinking about what color dress I wanted to wear."

"Blue," Ranger said softly, "you should wear blue to match your eyes."

"Absolutely," Mom agreed with a laugh. "You pick a shade and we'll pick a different one."

"Of course," Ranger smiled.

"Okay," I nodded. I admit it. I was feeling a little bit numb by this time. Right! I was feeling a whole lot numb by this time. They were cheerfully planning a reception for us when I wasn't even sure we were going to stay married. Of course Mom and Dad were sure that my marriage to _Ricardo_ was going to be a big success. They could be right. I don't know. I just know that I don't know much.

Half an hour later we were headed back to Haywood.

"Are you upset with me?"

"No, no, no," I shook my head. "It's a lovely hotel. I've always wanted to stay there. It's a very nice idea, but very expensive."

"Well, it is for us," he grinned. "And of course for your parents so they won't be ashamed because everyone in the burg thinks we 'had to get married.'" He said the last part with a chuckle.

"You have a weird sense of humor Ricardo Carlos Manoso."

"Thank you," he grinned.

"Seriously…how long has she been calling you Ricardo?"

"Sometime during the cruise on and off," he said absently. "It is my name."

"I know that."

"She thought she should know something about me so we had a nice talk and she liked my name and asked if it would be alright if she called me by my given name. I said it was fine with me. It's just taken her a while to get used to saying it I guess."

"I see," I frowned.

"Does it bother you?"

"No…of course not," I shook my head. But I was lying. My mother called him by his first name. He was my friggin husband and I called him by his street name. That was seriously messed up.

"Are you sure? You're frowning," he asked parking the Cayenne.

"I'm just a little tired. This has been…interesting," I admitted.

"But you're okay with the plan…right?"

"Of course," I nodded. "I'm glad you're going to let your Aunt Sophia make the cake too."

"Good," he reddened again. "What kind would you like?"

"I don't know. I know I don't want lemon or white though. I had both of them at my wedding to the Dick. So…"

"Of course," he nodded. "You'll be meeting my family soon and I'll ask Aunt Sophia to bring some samples with her when she comes."

"I will," I squeaked.

"Babe…we're married. You know I have to invite my family to the reception. They're giving me hell for not bringing you out to meet them yet. Of course I told them what was going on and they've been a little understanding, but my mother and father are seriously PO'd."

"Why can't they come here," I frowned.

"Here," he blinked at me and flashed his key fob at the elevator.

"Yea, I can meet them and we'll have a nice quiet supper. You know, just your parents the first time. We can do more later."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course," I nodded. "You weathered Grandma Mazur and Burt. I can make a little dinner for your parents."

He waved the fob at the panel and pushed the seven and leaned over to kiss my cheek. "Thank you Babe."

"No, thank you," I smiled. "You and Mom are having a lot of fun making all these plans."

"Yea," he said with a slight smile and I could see the surprise on his face. "I actually am having a good time. Which reminds me, Cal told me to tell you that Natalie was going to call you about the baby shower for Padma."

"Isn't it a little early," I frowned.

"A little bit," he nodded. "But we've got their wedding coming up and Natalie's got a couple of dresses coming in from Italy to try on."

"Wow, from Italy," I blinked.

"Yea…she's stoked. Those are Cal's words," he said unlocking the apartment door. "They're making wedding plans but they don't want to interfere with our reception."

"How could they possibly? I'll call her."

"Good," he nodded. "Now…what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to take a nap," I admitted.

"I think that's a good idea," he agreed. "Actually, after eating all that food, I could use a nap too," he yawned.

"Hmm…you sure do like manicotti," I smiled and kicked my shoes into the closet.

"Yea…I think you're rubbing off on me."

"Hmmm…me or my mother," I raised a brow.

He laughed, "We'll see."

I shucked my jeans and laid them over a chair and pulled my bra off and climbed into bed with just my long sleeve tee shirt and panties.

Ranger blinked at me for a moment and finished unlacing his boots, "Babe?"

"Hmmm," I said sleepily.

He shook his head and took a deep breath. "What do you think about invitations?"

"What," I blinked.

"You know…invitations to the reception," he said tugging his pants off.

I turned to blink at him just in time to see his bare ass, "er…they're a good idea I suppose."

"Yea," he turned to me and tugged his tee shirt over his head. "I just wasn't sure what burg protocol was about these things."

I swallowed and tore my gaze away from his dick, "er…I think we're in new territory Ranger. We're going to have to set the bar ourselves."

"Hmm," he said softly as he climbed into bed beside me. "I don't want to step on any toes."

"Check with Mom, she'll know," I swallowed.

"I'll do that," he agreed and flicked off his lamp. "Sweet dreams Babe."

"Er…yea, you too," I whispered and turned over and stuck my head under the pillow. I was going to have to start eating a lot of sugar again. I wasn't sure I'd last long with it, but without it I didn't have a prayer.


	12. Chapter 12 What about the Exes?

I own nothing Janet owns, but I did borrow it. I make nothing off of it.

* * *

I woke up the next morning a little after my usual time. I thought Ranger was already gone and headed for the bathroom. He was standing at the sink shaving naked.

"You need the bathroom Babe," he raised a brow.

"Er…I just need a shower." I tried to be casual. Really, I did. But he was naked. I mean he was buck ass nekkid. Oh…he's hot nekkid. Well, he's hot when he's not naked, but you get my point.

"Go ahead," he said and turned back to his reflection in the mirror.

Go ahead? Go ahead?! He wants to play naked body flash. Fine! I can play naked body flash. I pulled my tee shirt and panties off and turned on the shower and stepped in. I didn't look back at him right away. I guess there was a small part of me that was a little worried that my naked body wouldn't have the same affect on him as his naked body had on me. I heard a slight moan and knew that I need not have worried. I smiled and stuck my head under the warm water.

"So," he said smoothly leaning over the glass shower door.

"Oh shit," I hissed and straightened. "You scared me."

"Sorry," he grinned.

He wasn't sorry.

"So what," I asked reaching for the shampoo.

"So what do you plan to do today?"

"I don't really have any firm plans. I'm sure I'm still on lock-down."

"You are," he nodded.

"Do you have any ideas," I asked lathering my hair. It took every bit of willpower I had to just continue with my business with him standing there watching me.

"Y…yea," he cleared his throat. "Actually, we're brain storming in the conference room on five at ten this morning to try to figure out who this stalker is and what they're after."

"They're after me dead," I said leaning back to rinse the shampoo from my hair.

"Right," he cleared his throat again.

I blinked and slid a look at him under my lashes. His eyes were on my boobs. I mean they weren't budging. I moved slightly and his gaze shifted. I moved again and it shifted again. I reached for the conditioner and he made a small strangled sound. "So you want me to attend this meeting?"

"Er…yea," he agreed after a few moments. "We thought it might be beneficial."

"Okay then. I'll be there," I smiled at him.

He blinked at me and backed away. "Yea, I'll see you there later."

"Okay," I said cheerfully and watched him go. Yea, two could play at this game. This could be fun.

At nine forty-five I was in the conference room with my coffee, my grapes, my laptop and my yellow legal pad. I was the first one there. Tank was second.

"Hey big guy," I smiled. "Is married life still good?"

"It's great," he leaned over to kiss my cheek before taking his place on the opposite side of the table from me, "how about you?"

"It's interesting," I grinned.

"You don't say," he raised a brow.

"It's had its moments," I nodded.

"So you'll sign the paperwork?"

"Nope," I shook my head.

"You're a stubborn woman," he sighed.

"Yep," I agreed.

"Lula isn't mad at you anymore. She said you got caught up in the romantic moment and couldn't help yourself. She believes that we inspired your commitment to Ranger. She believes that he was swept away."

"Is that so," I smiled.

"Yep," he nodded. "Don't dissuade her of that notion. She's pretty cheerful about it when all is said and done."

"I bet. Has she talked you into getting pregnant yet?"

"I believe her exact words were 'you ain't getting any younger hon. If we don't make some babies now, we may not be able to'."

"Charming," I smiled.

"Yea," he sighed.

"So you're working on it?"

"We're working on it," he nodded. He got a hint of mischief in his eyes. "What about you? Are you and Ranger making babies?"

"We are going to get a house first," Ranger said entering the room and putting his notebook down on the table between us. "Then we're going to get fish, and then a kitten and then a puppy."

"Right," Tank nodded and stifled a grin.

"Fish," I blinked at him. "I don't remember fish being anywhere in the time line."

"Er…well, it is now."

I rolled my eyes.

"Dude, it's not fair to spring the fish on her now."

Ranger gave him a look and the two exchanged another one of those silent messages that I was never going to be privy to. Ranger actually looked a little bit sheepish when he glanced over at me. Something was going on there. I would find out what it was. I would.

Lester, Bobby, Cal, Woody, Hal and Gabe came in and took seats around the table. Cal took the chair next to mine and dropped a kiss on my head.

"Okay everyone let's get this show on the road," Ranger cleared his voice. "Lester, why don't you start? Give us everything you've found out about the FTA's Steph has brought in."

"Well, I can't find anyone who's after her from that group. The family member's of the people she's gotten locked up for serious crimes are grateful. Even the Slayer's people are pretty happy about their losses. It seems that she did everyone a favor. The worst of the worst are dead. Most of the crazies are dead or behind bars. Those that she doesn't have a personal relationship with now hold no animosity toward her. I'd say it's a dead end."

"A dead end," Ranger frowned.

"That's Steph's impression too," he sighed.

"Tank, what about the police?"

"The police say the bomb is amateurish. It can be gotten off the internet if someone is crazy enough to want it. The ingredients are simple and too difficult to trace. There was nothing signature about it in any way except that the timer comes from a local manufacturer. They assume the unsub is local to the area. They assume that the unsub knows a lot about Stephanie and the attacks are personal."

Ranger nodded.

"Where does that leave us," Woody asked, "because from this angle it looks like a big fat goose egg."

"Not necessarily," Cal shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

"Spit it out," Ranger said with a sigh.

"I'm leaning toward exes."

"Exes," he blinked at him.

"Let's get real here," he said more forcefully. "None of this started until your marriage was announced. The math tells me that the marriage is the catalyst. So…I think it's an ex. I think it's a jealous party. You know one of those if I can't have him/her nobody can sort of deals."

Ranger sat forward in the chair and leaned his elbows the table and his fingers immediately formed the temple of thought. He was quiet for a moment. "Who have we got?"

"Morelli, the Dick, and that guy from EE Martin," Lester nodded. He glanced over at me uncomfortably, "and of course Brian."

I gritted my teeth, "he's in Australia."

"How about Terri," Hal asked. "I mean her husband is running his mouth all over town about how he's still in love with her. That could be it."

"That's a good one," Tank nodded.

"And don't forget Bella Morelli. That bitch is crazy," Lester reminded them.

There was a brief moment of silence for Grandma Bella and her evil eye.

"O-kay," I took a deep breath, "and what about your exes?"

"My exes," Ranger raised a brow.

"Yea…your exes," I said succinctly. "They're trying to kill me to make you single and not the other way around. It's more likely to be an ex of yours than an ex of mine. Like say…Jeanne Ellen."

"Get real," he rolled his eyes.

"Or that chick in Chile who calls you Carlos…how about her," I said gazing skyward.

"She doesn't exist," he said mildly.

"The hell she doesn't. What about any one of the two hundred million Veronique types? How about them huh? Why does it have to be one of my crazy exes? Why can't it be one of his?"

"First…if it was Jeanne Ellen, you'd be dead and the bomb would not have been the amateur hour," Ranger said softly.

I blanched.

"Sorry Babe," he sighed.

"Actually, it would be if she was trying to throw suspicion off. I mean whoever it is could be playing with Steph the way Manuel played with you," Cal said quietly.

"Could it be someone in Michelle's family," Tank frowned.

"I don't think so," Woody shook his head. "Connie still talks to those people and they don't hold a grudge with either of you."

"We're getting nowhere," he sighed.

"We need to interview all the exes. We should start with Morelli, the Dick and Terri," Cal said quietly. He saw my furious gaze, "once they're eliminated…we'll start tracking down Ranger's exes."

I sighed and nodded.

"Who's doing the interviews?"

"Who do you think," Ranger asked with a raised brow. "If it's one of them, we'll see them face to face and know."

Tank nodded.

"That's it then," I asked not looking at anyone.

"That's it," Ranger agreed.

"Okay," I got to my feet and hurried out of the room and to the elevator. I was mad. No, I was furious. Why did it have to be one of my exes? I didn't have that many of them when it came right down to it. I'd certainly dropped trou for a lot less people than Ranger had. Any one of the bimbos could be the unsub, why did the focus have to be on me and my life? I sighed in exasperation and hit the button for the seventh floor again after flashing my key fob again. Finally the car began to move up. I got off the elevator and went straight into the apartment and flopped back on the bed into my old, before my house and kitchen blew up, thinking position.

"Why are you mad," Ranger asked lounging in the doorway.

"I don't understand why it has to be one of my exes. Why can't it be one of yours?"

"It's complicated," he winced.

"How is it complicated? Why don't you elucidate," I rose up on one elbow and glared at him.

"Because," he said softly and came to lie beside me on the bed and fix me with an intent stare, "I don't take names."

"What does that mean?"

"That means that there's no way I can follow up to see if one of them is after you."

I blinked at him, "you're a slut." I dropped back on the bed with a sigh. I'd married a slut.

"At one time it really didn't matter who she was. I didn't want to know her. I just wanted to fuck her. They wanted the same thing I did. It was…casual. There were no names or phone numbers exchanged and definitely no promises that I'd call them later. It and they meant nothing more than physical release."

"How flattering," I swallowed and gazed at the ceiling.

"You were never that for me Stephanie. You were never just a piece of ass."

I turned to meet his sincere gaze.

"Never," he said softly and leaned over to kiss me gently. He lifted his head after a few moments and sighed, "Tomorrow you're supposed to meet Natalie at the Bridal shop to try on dresses. Ghost is going with you. Try not to get blown up while you're out."

"I'll do my damnedest," I rolled my eyes.

"I'm going to call Ocean Place and find out when we can come out to meet with their party people. I'm going to call my mother and my Aunt Sophia. Why don't you rest?"

"That sounds like a swell idea," I said quietly.

"Good," he nodded and kissed my head and left the apartment.

I reached for my phone and dialed Christian.

"Hey baby, what's up?"

"You know I'm on lock-down, right?"

"Honey I'd love to be stuck in a room with your husband for twenty-four/seven," he sighed.

"Yea, and if I was getting any, I'd agree with you…but I'm not."

"That is so wrong," he sighed.

"Yea…well, it's the only card I hold," I sighed. "Tell me that Brian's still in Australia."

"Honey, he called me yesterday from Sydney."

"Good," I sighed.

"What's going on?"

"They're running out of leads as far as my former FTA's go, so they're looking into my personal life."

"Oh…Oh," he said in understanding. "Surely they don't think Brian is doing this to you? I mean he'd rather die than see you hurt. He loves you."

I swallowed back the tears, "I know that. I just wanted to make sure that he was good and far away with a substantial alibi. I don't think it's one of my exes anyway. I'm pretty sure it's someone who wants Ranger."

"Add me to the list then Baby," he laughed.

I grinned, "but you're not insane enough to believe that if I was dead you'd have a chance…are you?"

"Oh, hell no," he sighed. "That man's got hetero screaming out of every pore. He also has whipped screaming out of every pore."

"He does not," I blushed.

"Oh yea he does," he said adamantly. "I think you may be onto something there honey. I mean if I can see that he's so taken it's hopeless for anyone else, then other people can see it too. I'd put money on you being right about this. It's one of his exes, or at least someone who wanted him for their own."

I sighed, "Keep your ear to the ground, will you?"

"Yea…oh and I've got some news. Brenda doesn't know it yet, but they're calling her back to LaLa Land. This show is cancelled, but they want her to be one of the judges on some reality television thing like American Idol. Hell, she could be headed for American Idol for all I know. I'm starting at Sizzlin next Monday."

"What about Lula?"

"Get this," he laughed, "Lula's got her own Radio show. An agent came to see her today. She'll be on late night for a while. I think the name of it's going to be '_Lula, Life and Love_'. Is that hysterical or what?"

"It is," I grinned. "That's my girl."

"Okay…well, I gotta go. Marina has a commercial shoot coming up and I told her I'd do her makeup and wardrobe. That girl is gonna be a big star someday."

"I believe it," I smiled. "Take care Christian and good luck."

"You too honey and I'll keep my ears open," he said and disconnected.

I lay back on the bed and sighed. Brian was safe. I knew that there was no way Joe had done this. He wouldn't risk his badge. If Terri had done it, like Jeanne Ellen I'd be dead and the bomb wouldn't have been amateur hour. No…this was someone else. It was someone I didn't see yet. But I would. I would.


	13. Chapter 13 Bridal Boutiques & Guns

Janet owns hers, I own mine. She's making a bunch, I'm making bupkis. It's all good.

* * *

For the second day in a row I got up and went into the bathroom and Ranger was still there and still naked. Today he was in the shower.

"Oh I'm sorry," I said.

"You have to go?"

"Er…yea," I groaned.

"Go," he nodded. "I won't look."

I debated going back to bed and waiting till he left the bathroom, but my bladder wasn't having any of that. I took him up on it.

"You can flush. The showers got a valve on it that controls the fluctuations."

"Okay," I got up and nodded with a sigh.

He stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel leaving the water running. "You want the shower?"

"Yea," I said shedding my tee shirt and panties and stepping into the shower. This time I hadn't even looked down at his…well, you know. This time I kept my chin and my eyes up.

"You're going to the bridal shop?"

"Yea, I'm supposed to be there at nine," I sighed. "They told us it would be slower in the morning."

"Who all knows you're going to be there?"

"Just Rangeman's employees and my friends know anything," I shrugged, "nobody who would kill me."

"Let's hope not," he sighed drying his hair vigorously. He frowned at his reflection in the mirror. "Babe…I'm thinking…do I need to get a haircut or let my hair grow back out?"

I swallowed. He was asking my opinion.

"Babe, did you hear me?"

"Uh, yea, I think you should keep it short. You're a corporate guy now Ranger. You're a suit. You need to look the part."

"Yea, that's what I was thinking," he sighed. "I've kept it long for a long time."

"I know," I smiled over the shower door at him, "but you're not your hair."

"You'll still think I'm sexy," he grinned at me.

"Shut up," I groaned and stuck my head under the water.

"That's not an answer."

"You're not getting one," I burbled under the water. I felt a breeze and warm hands on my belly.

"I think I really need an answer," he murmured in my ear.

I spit the water out and turned around to look up at him. The moment I turned toward him his lower half began to twitch to life. "Yes Ranger…you're still sexy with short hair. You're sexy with one arm. You're sexy with no legs. You're sexy with…"

His mouth came down on mine hungrily. I slid my arms up around his neck and kissed him back. He finally tore his mouth from mine and nibbled on my neck.

"You're going to be late," I said softly with a smile.

"I don't give a rat's…"

"You have Brindal Industries here in half an hour," I reminded him.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" He took a deep breath and left the shower.

I smiled to myself. Oh yea, two can play that game Mr. Manoso. Tell me you want to stay married to me _Ricardo_ and you'll be too tired to even think about shower sex. You'll cry uncle.

"Who'll cry uncle," he asked with a frown as he shaved.

"Nothing," I winced. I really needed to work on keeping my thoughts to myself. I also needed to talk to Ella about a different shower head. Yep, that was definitely number one on my hit list.

Mitch and I were on time to the bridal shop. The girl was just unlocking the door when we arrived. "Oh Miss Plum, it's nice to see you again."

"Actually," I flashed my left hand, "its Mrs. Manoso now."

"Oh how wonderful," she beamed. "Did Miss Evans' wedding go off as planned?"

"There were some bumps in the road, but the wedding itself was beautiful and she definitely was a gorgeous bride in the dress we found here."

"I hope we have as much luck with your friend Natalie. The dresses I ordered from Italy came in yesterday and I have to say they're incredible. I can't imagine her not choosing one of them."

"I can't wait to see them."

"Is this your husband?"

I smiled, "no this is my friend Mitch. He works for my husband."

"Oh that's right Mr. Manoso owns Rangeman," she nodded. "Lula's husband and Natalie's fiance work there."

"Right, so does Connie's fiancé," I nodded.

"Here's Natalie now," she smiled.

Natalie hugged me and then Mitch before turning to the bridal shop attendant in breathless anticipation, "well?"

"They're beautiful," she grinned. "They're as beautiful in person as they were in the catalog."

"Oh boy," she took a deep breath. "Shall we get started?"

"Let's do," she agreed.

I sat in my usual spot and Mitch sank down beside me.

"Is it always like this," he raised a brow.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, is it always you in trouble?"

I started to deny it and sighed, "I have a way of landing in situations. It's not that I seek them out. It's just that Trenton New Jersey is like the black hole for the insane criminally minded and I'm some sort of magnetic attractor to them. I swear to God I didn't do anything overtly to bring this on."

He grinned, "I believe you. I've been in Trenton about a month and it's definitely a little bit magnetically off. My cousin Diesel would have a field day here."

I groaned, "Diesel is your cousin?"

He laughed, "You know him? Of course you do. He would end up here."

"He's been here a few times."

"Well, if he's been here more than once that means that Trenton is definitely in the suck zone."

I grinned, "Yea…it is."

"No…I mean it Stephanie. You see there are places that are naturally…shall we say magical. If Diesel has been here more than once, then either this place is magical or somewhere near to a magical place. Has he tested you?"

"What," I blinked.

"Has he tested you for power?"

"No," I blinked. "I mean if he has tested me, I wasn't aware of it. Are you magical?"

"Er…special yea," he grinned. "I can become a ghost when need be."

"You mean you can actually disappear?"

"Not actually disappear," he shook his head. "I can just blend into anything I'm around. You know, sort of like a chameleon."

"Oh," I nodded and swallowed. "Well, I think we'll just keep this between us."

"Ranger and Tank already know. They already met Diesel."

"That explains how Ranger knows so much about him."

"Yep," he nodded. "Oh Wow," he blinked.

I turned to see Natalie emerge from the dressing room. Oh wow was right. I blinked. "Oh Nat…you're beautiful."

"Really," she said tearfully. "I mean the other two dresses are pretty, but this is the one I…" She put her face into her hands and just bawled.

I jumped up and hugged my friend. "Why are you crying? I thought you were happy."

"I am happy," she stuttered and sniffed. "I never thought I'd meet someone like Cal. I never imagined loving someone so much and being loved back the same way. This whole thing is like a fairy tale. I'm just so happy."

I smiled, "you deserve it. You're proof that nice girls can finish first."

She laughed, "Thanks Steph. You're the best. I can't believe I found a dress this fast."

"Me either, but I'm not complaining," I grinned.

"There are a couple of dresses that came in with this one that would be perfect for your reception. Cal said Ranger wanted you to wear blue."

"Yea," I nodded.

"Come see," she dragged me back into the dressing room.

I saw the dress she was talking about as soon as we walked through the curtain. The dress was strapless with a completely fitted bodice. The bodice was Cobalt blue wrapped in rich chiffon. The skirt that flowed to the floor was in varying shades of blue from robin's egg blue to a rich navy. Tiny crystals decorated the bodice and scattered over the flowing skirt. "Is that my size," I blinked.

"It's a six," the attendant said. "It should just fit."

She was right, it did. It didn't even need altering. Of course Natalie's dress had to be shortened considerably. But I walked out of the store with the dress in my hand and I was happy. I was happy for the three seconds it took for Mitch to throw me to the ground and pin me down with his body as the hail of automatic weapon gunfire echoed over my head. I had been impressed the first time I heard a hail of gunfire. Now, I was pretty much over it.

Vaguely I heard screaming and knew it wasn't me. I hoped it wasn't Natalie. I felt a sting in my forearm and groaned. It wasn't my first bullet wound and at this rate it wouldn't be my last. In the distance I heard sirens and then the squeal of tires and what registered most was Mitch's weight on me.

"Mitch," I whispered praying he was okay.

He grunted, "I'm fine. I was wearing Kevlar. You however have a bullet in your arm." He got off of me and grabbed my arm and tore off his tee shirt and wrapped it around my arm.

"What about my dress?"

He gazed at me incredulously, "you're fucking with me, right?"

I gazed up at him tearfully.

"It was under you. It should be fine."

I sighed.

"Is being shot that old hat?"

"I suppose so. What does that say about me Mitch?"

"It says Trenton is in the suck path," he sighed, "for sure."

Natalie hurried toward us, "are you okay? Dear God, have you been shot?"

"It's nothing," I shook my head. "They didn't even get an artery. Did you see anything?"

"No," she sighed. "I'm sorry. We just sort of hit the deck at the first sound of gunfire."

"I don't blame you," I sighed. "They'll probably need you to give a statement."

She nodded and backed away as the police skidded to a halt in front of us.

"Jesus Christ Stephanie," Eddie groaned. "What in the hell is it with you?"

"I wish I knew," I sighed.

"Did you see anything," he asked.

"Not a damn thing," I admitted. "I was thinking about my dress."

He sighed, "Fine. What about you…?"

"Mitch Wheeler," he said shortly as Carrie came hurrying toward us with the gurney. "She has to go to the ER this time. She's got a bullet wound."

"Yea," she sighed. "Sorry Eddie, if you want a statement from Mrs. Manoso you'll have to get it later."

Mitch lifted me onto the gurney, "keep her safe Carrie."

"I will," she nodded.

"I'll see you tonight."

"Yea," she nodded and pushed me toward the ambulance. Seconds later the ambulance was in motion and we were once again on our way to the hospital.

"So…you've got a date with Mitch tonight," I grinned.

"Yes," she said and put her finger over her lips to signal to me to be quiet while she took my blood pressure. She pulled Mitch's shirt off to look at my arm and winced and put it back and applied pressure. Then she tapped her headset. "Dispatch this is 214, we've got a 30 year old female victim in route to General with a gunshot wound to the left arm. She is alert and responsive, we need a surgeon standing by…we've hit an artery."

"Shit," I hissed.

She winked at me, "thank you Dispatch, over and out." She tapped the headset again. "We have a new doctor in from Boston. You're going to love him. He's so laid back."

"I hope its Dr. Funny Bone," I said tiredly.

She ran my pressure again and called up front to the driver, "step on it Chuck."

My next moment of awareness must have been many hours later, but to me it felt like it had only been a few moments. I was in the hospital, in a bed and Ranger was on my right side with his head on the bed and my hand in both of his.

"Hey," I swallowed. My mouth was so damn dry.

He lifted his head and gazed at me through bleary eyes. "You're awake," he said softly and pushed curls back from my forehead.

"Hmm…can I have some water," I whispered.

He held the cup up to me and put the straw between my lips gently. He took it away only when I signaled to him that I was done.

"Am I okay?"

"Yes," he took a deep steadying breath, "but you gave us quite a scare. You passed out in the ambulance and you…"

"What," I frowned.

"You almost didn't make it," he said hoarsely and his fingers on my right hand tightened just for a second.

"Oh," I blinked. "I died?"

He swallowed, "just for a few moments. Carrie's very good at what she does."

"Thank God for that," I sighed.

He ran gentle fingers over my face. "For the life of me I can't figure out how someone as sweet and gentle as you are could possibly attract so many sadistic maniacs."

I smiled and chuckled softly, "it's because we're in the suck zone."

"Right," he nodded. "You had a really good chat with Mitch?"

"Yea," I said tiredly. "Don't be mad at him Ranger. He saved my life."

"I know," he said quietly. "He has enough bullet fragments in his Kevlar to prove that."

"Enough to get a make on the weapon," I raised a brow.

"AK47," he said tiredly.

"What time is it?"

"It's three AM," he said glancing at the clock.

"Damn…I've been here and out a long time," I sighed.

"Yes you have," he agreed.

"Go home and get some sleep," I said seriously.

"Not a chance in hell," he shook his head.

The nurse came into the room smiling. "You're awake. Dr. Riley will be in to see you in a few minutes and then we'll probably move you out of ICU and into a regular room."

"How long will I be here?"

"Why don't you ask Dr. Riley that when he comes in," she said taking my pulse as the blood pressure machine ran. "Well, that looks good," she smiled and made notes on the chart. "It's good to see you again Mr. and Mrs. Manoso. Do you think the next time you come in we can see you in Labor and Delivery?" She watched me blush and left the room laughing.

"Oh my God," Ranger groaned.

"Maybe you should have given her your time line," I said raising a brow at him. "You know fish, then kitten and then puppy and then…"

He just shook his head as the door swung open again.

"Well, I just had a feeling when I took this job that I'd have the opportunity to see the two of you again," Dr. Riley grinned. Indeed, it was Dr. Funny Bone.

"Dr Funny Bone," Ranger blinked.

"What," the graying man asked with a grin.

"That's what Steph calls you," he reddened.

"I suppose it fits," he nodded and picked up my chart. "So…you got yourself shot this time?"

"It appears so," I sighed.

"You scared your husband," he frowned thoughtfully. "You weren't married the last time I saw you, were you?"

"No," Ranger shook his head. "We got married in February."

"You don't say," he nodded. "Well, we're moving you out of ICU and into a regular room. I assume those massive body guards outside the door will need to be informed?"

"I'll inform them," Ranger assured him.

"I'm guessing," he nodded.

"When can I go home," I asked.

"Not for a couple of days. I need to run some tests and make sure you don't have any other damage. And we need to keep an eye on your arm. You put a little scare into us on the way to the hospital and in the operating room. I'm not taking any chances."

I nodded and sighed.

He gave Ranger a little salute and exited the room.

"A couple of days isn't that bad," Ranger said reassuringly.

"If it was you, would you think that," I raised a brow.

He sighed, "Babe…please do what he asks. You scared the shit out of me."

I stared up into his worried face. He wasn't even trying to pull a mask down to cover any of his emotions. I saw his fear. I saw his worry. I saw the love. "I'll do what he asks," I said softly.

"Thank you," he leaned over to kiss my head. "I'll let the guys know we're moving," he hurried toward the door.

"AK47," I murmured. That was really a gang weapon or professional killer kind of weapon. It wasn't a gun that your average suburban housewife had laying around the house, even in Trenton. The bombs may be amateur, but the gun definitely wasn't. Now all I had to do was figure out who couldn't make bombs, but could get good weapons. It couldn't be that hard. Could it?


	14. Chapter 14 Joe Explains

I have borrowed some of Janet Evanovich's characters and I will return them someday. I have created new characters to play with her characters and I'm keeping them, they're fun. I make nothing from it.

* * *

When in Boston they'd run tests on my insides. I'll be honest with you, I should be used to all the poking and prodding that was done on me by now. But I'll tell you, the embarrassment just never ends when they tell you they're just going to squirt this stuff up your butt and take pictures. Oh joy. They even did another CatScan. I keep thinking that someday I'd have one done when I was feeling good so they'd have something to compare it to. But I suppose they know what they're doing. They went to med school.

I am used to humiliation galore. Ask anyone. They'll tell you. But sometimes the humiliations added together are just plain annoying. Like now.

I suppose I should have been surprised when Joe Morelli walked into my hospital room and my husband didn't even bat an eye. He looked like he was expecting him and the truth is that he probably was. Joe had been an important part of my life for several years and it was only natural that he would drop by to check on me. Not only that, one thing Ranger knew for certain was that once people were in my life, they tended to stay in it in some capacity or the other.

I wasn't sure what Joe's capacity was going to be. It didn't look like he was going to be my friend like Brian was, but he probably wasn't going to be my enemy either. These days he seemed to be in my life in the cop capacity. Maybe that's for the best.

"I'm fine Joe," I sighed.

"What the hell is going on," he ran his hand through his hair. "Somebody blew up your house and your car and when that didn't work they came at you with a semi-automatic AK47. This is not how most people in the burg pass their days Cupcake."

"Joe…I'm not your cupcake. I'm married and you're married and not to each other."

He blew out a breath, "I know. I'm sorry. It's a habit."

"One you should stop so my husband doesn't beat the shit out of you."

Ranger smirked.

"What's going on?"

"We don't know," Ranger admitted. "We've checked into every FTA she's ever had and that all seems to be a dead end. We've double checked everyone she put behind bars. We've talked to their families and friends and everyone loves her. So now we're looking into her exes."

Joe laughed and then straightened as he watched Ranger's face calculating. A look of incredulous disbelief came over his face. "Come on Manoso. I may have been a prick of a boyfriend, but I wouldn't do anything to hurt her. I wouldn't."

"Well, we have to make sure," Ranger said the words calmly.

He was studying Joe and his reactions through hooded eyes. I could have saved him the trouble. Joe didn't do it. If he was mad at me he'd have beat me up with his bare hands. That was his nature. He wasn't one of those deep thinkers that planned out the perfect crime and had a great alibi. At least he hadn't been. Now that he was married to the former Terri Gilman, maybe he had changed his spots.

"Have you got alibis for the times of all of the occurrences?"

"I may not have one for all of them especially since you can't be sure when all of them actually happened," Joe said seriously. "There's no way to know within a few minutes when the house or the car was wired."

"You're wrong about the car. It was clean when we dropped it in front of Dr. Addison's office," Ranger nodded. "Stephanie was in there another twenty minutes so that's your window of opportunity. We scan all vehicles as a matter of caution at Rangeman."

"Good," Joe nodded. "Then I was at the pediatrician with my daughter at that time. What about the house?"

"I only know that it was sometime after ten PM the night before."

"That's not narrowing it down much," Joe shook his head. "Do you have video of the house?"

"No," he sighed. "Stephanie refused to let me do that before. The next house will have video."

I rolled my eyes.

"As far as the last crime goes, I can tell you that when she was shot at I was in a meeting with about forty other cops. That alibi is rock solid."

"Good to know," Ranger nodded.

"You don't think that I'd do anything to you, do you Stephanie?"

"Not really," I shrugged. "But then again, I didn't think you'd impregnate Terri Gilman while we were engaged and then marry her three weeks after we broke up and have a…" I bit off the rest of the words which would have probably pissed him off since I was about to refer to his new daughter as a monkey baby.

He sighed, "Okay…I deserve that."

"So…who knows? I mean I don't think I really know you at all."

"You do," he sighed. "It's just that… She does things you don't do."

I blinked at him a few times. I couldn't believe that he was bringing this shit up now. We'd been broken up for nearly a year. I groaned when I realized what he was talking about. "You mean the butt stuff," I raised a brow.

Ranger smirked.

"Well," he reddened.

I shook my head, "you make me sick. You know that."

Ranger reached for my hand, "I think it's kind of funny."

"You would," I glared.

"I swear to God if you tell me that she does the butt stuff with you I'll gonna run out of here screaming my head off," Joe growled.

"I should tell you that just to see that happen," Ranger grinned.

"So she doesn't," he sighed.

"I'm not saying either way."

"Dude," Joe groaned.

"Our sex life is our business and nobody else's."

Of course, Joe didn't need to know that we didn't have a sex life.

"You're killing me," Joe sighed.

Ranger shrugged, "you know, marital relations are a private thing. And I've never been one to tout my sexual exploits."

This is a habit that Joe Morelli really needed to get into. The first time we'd had sex he'd scrawled the details on every bathroom wall from Pinos to the football stadium at my high school. He needed to learn the meaning of discretion and he needed to learn it fast. Quite frankly I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing that he screwed Terri Gilman up the ass. I mean it. Gross!

"How about a change of subject," I sighed. "How about we return the topic to the whole point of this conversation? Who in the heck is trying to kill me?"

"Okay," Joe lounged in the chair by the bed. "Let's just say that you're right and it's one of her exes. The EE Martin guy is out because he lives in Seattle and is happily married with three kids."

"Oh Jeez," I groaned.

He ticked him off, "I am out because I have a rock solid alibi for yesterday's shooting and for the first bombing. Also, to be honest with you, that bomb was so amateur that I could have done better in my basement with one hand tied behind my back." He ticked himself off.

"Good point," I nodded.

"Goodman is still in Australia."

"And you know that because…," I raised a brow.

"Because we came up with this theory ourselves," he said quietly.

"Great," I sighed.

"So that only leaves little Dickie Orr."

"Does he have an alibi," Ranger asked.

"We don't know. We can't find him to question him," he admitted.

"He's disappeared," I blinked.

"Yes, he has," he said quietly and leaned forward, "and we suspect foul play."

"Why do you suspect foul play?"

"We got a search warrant for his house and there are some blood stains. We suspect he's dead."

"Oh Jesus," I groaned.

"If he's not," he shrugged, "then he almost bled out in that house…or someone did. So if he's not dead he's wanted for questioning in the attempts on your life as well as that blood pool that didn't pass the CSI test."

I swallowed.

"No DNA," Ranger said quietly.

"Nope," Joe shook his head.

"What about Terri," Ranger asked.

"What about her," he raised his brow defensively.

"Does she have an alibi?"

He was taken aback. "Why would you even…?" He groaned, "You don't think she'd try to take Stephanie out?"

"Well, her husband is running his mouth all over town telling people that he still loves Stephanie and he regrets marrying his wife and he wants out of his marriage and back in Stephanie's bed," Ranger said with a raised brow.

"Fuck," Joe put his head in his hands.

"By the way…that ain't gonna happen."

"I know that," he groaned.

"Then why are you running your mouth?"

"We've just had a few rough months. I don't know why, but Terri seemed to think I'd have to work less if I married her."

"Maybe she thought your 'working' was a euphemism for screwing around all over the northern seaboard," I said acidly. "I mean personally, I can see why she'd think that."

"I didn't screw around," he stopped when he saw Ranger's brow go up. "I'll talk to her."

"I want to talk to her," Ranger said quietly.

"Fine, you talk to her as well," he took a deep breath.

"And what are you going to do," Ranger asked.

"I'm going to do my job. I'm going to pursue other leads and I'll keep looking for Dickie."

"Sounds wise," he nodded.

"Maybe you better look for him too. You'll probably have better luck than I will."

"I'll do that," Ranger nodded.

"Take care, Stephanie," he said getting to his feet. "Stay out of trouble, will ya? You have no idea what it's like for local law enforcement to deal with your husband when you've been hurt."

I laughed, "Oh I bet I do."

He just shook his head and left the room.

"Do you believe him," Ranger asked.

"Yea," I nodded and focused on Ranger's face. "I don't think he wants me dead. If he was going to kill one of us, the bombs would have been on you."

He nodded with a weird smile. "God knows I've thought about killing him more than once myself."

"Ranger," I sighed.

"It's all in the past Babe," he said tiredly.

I studied him. He had circles under his eyes and his eyes were bloodshot. He was still beautiful, but he was tired beautiful. "Have you slept at all?"

"No," he sighed.

"Get in here," I pushed the sheet aside.

He grinned and climbed into the hospital bed beside me and we shifted till we were both comfortable and my left arm was in no danger.

"Go to sleep," I said tiredly.

"Sweet dreams," his whispered words caressed my temple just as his lips landed there gently for a few seconds.

"You too," I sighed and closed my eyes.

When I woke up several hours later my parents were in the room and they were unloading this huge cooler of food. Ranger was up and handing my mother things from the cooler. My father was opening a bag.

"Ricardo darling, would you ask the nurses for some ice for me please," my mother said sweetly.

"Of course," he nodded and hurried away.

"You're awake," Daddy said with a smile. He came over to the bed and took my right hand in his and leaned down to press his lips to my forehead "don't do that again. You scared the shit out of your mother and me."

"I seemed to have frightened a lot of people. I swear to you Daddy, I don't know what's going on this time."

"I know Pumpkin," he said with a sigh. "Poor Ranger hasn't sleep in days."

"We took a nap this afternoon," I said with a smile. "I'll make him sleep tonight."

"See that you do," Mom said putting a plate of food on my bedside tray. "I have always hated hospital food. This is meatloaf with red gravy, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans," she made a face, "and some lovely yeast rolls from the Tasty Cake. I've brought Strawberry Cake for dessert. I hope you're hungry."

"I'm starving," I admitted. "You're right about the hospital food."

"Glenda said Joe Morelli was here today," Mom said quietly.

"Yes he was," I nodded.

"Was Ricardo here?"

"Of course," I nodded.

"Do you think he's the one doing these things to you? He has been telling everyone who will listen that he's in love with you and he's going to get you back."

"He's an idiot," Ranger said from the doorway with a container of ice.

"Did he do this thing," my mother asked quietly.

"We don't think so," I sighed.

"He's been cleared," Ranger added.

She sighed, "I'm glad. Now that he's a family man I try really hard not to wish bad things on him."

I grinned, "Were you wishing bad things on him before the baby was born?"

"Sometimes," she sighed.

"Sometimes," I laughed.

"Well, he was an ass."

"Yes, he was," I agreed with a smile.

"So who does that leave?"

"We're going to interview Terri in a couple of days," Ranger said. "Then if she's cleared we're looking for Dickie. He seems to have vanished."

"Really," my father said with a frown. "I saw him a few days ago. I suppose it was before this whole thing started. As a matter of fact, it was the day you two came by the house to let us know you were married. He was with someone. It was someone familiar." He closed his eyes and tapped his fingers impatiently and finally let out a massive sigh of discontent, "damnit. I can't put my finger on it. I'll keep thinking about it and let you know when I figure it out."

"Thanks," Ranger nodded.

"Are you getting out of the hospital soon," Mom asked.

"Tomorrow," Ranger smiled. "And we're going straight home and she's back on lockdown."

"You can't keep me in that ivory tower forever Ranger."

He sighed, "I know. But I can keep you there for a while. Hopefully, that will be long enough."

"Amen," my father sighed with him.


	15. Chapter 15 Meeting Manosos

Ms. Evanovich owns what she created. I own what I created. I make nothing. She makes oodles. I hold no grudge.

* * *

They did let me go home the next day. The nurse wheeled me out to the large black SUV and Ranger scooped me up and put me in the backseat and climbed in on the other side with me.

Gabe pulled out of the circular drive and headed for Haywood.

"Babe, my parents are coming tonight for dinner," he winced.

"Oh God, Ranger there is no way I can cook with this arm in a sling."

"I know. They know. Ella's going to cook tonight. They just want to meet you before some lunatic…," his voice cut off miserably.

"Right," I nodded and gazed off into space with a frown. I gave myself a small pep talk and turned back to him cheerfully. "What's she making?"

"I don't know," he said quietly.

"You need to sleep Ranger."

"I know. I'll nap with you when we get home," he sighed and leaned over to kiss my temple. "Gabe…has anyone been into Orr's house yet?"

"Yea Boss, we have a team in there right now. Lester's got the lead."

"Did you clear it with the cops?"

"Yes. Joe Morelli himself gave us the pass," he said shaking his head incredulously.

Ranger's lips curved up in a smile, but his eyes didn't reflect it at all. "Good."

"What are you hoping to find?"

"Something that tells us who your father saw him with," he sighed. "Also, we're taking a sample of the carpet. We're going to try myocardial DNA testing on it and see if we can determine whose blood it is."

"Myocardial?"

"Basically its when there's not enough of the sample to get a full profile, it's a way to rebuild the sample so there is enough. You only get one shot though, so we have to be very careful. Hopefully we'll get at least two small samples. We may not be able to figure it out completely, but we can at least get a type and probably a sex out of it. I've still got connections in Washington. If our lab can't do it, we may send the second sample off for further analysis."

I nodded. "So you'll know if it's likely to be the Dicks or not?"

"Right," he agreed.

Gabe pulled the SUV underneath the building and pulled up right beside the elevator. The elevator doors opened almost immediately and a bunch of guys got out and opened the back of the SUV pulling out the flowers and things from the hospital.

"We're glad you're back," Woody grinned and kissed my head. "Can't you just stay here until we find this lunatic?"

"Would you," I raised a brow.

"He wouldn't try to make me," he grinned at Ranger and grabbed the last of the flowers and my overnight bag from the back.

I raised a brow at Ranger.

"I'm not married to him," he pointed out.

Okay…ewwww.

The apartment on seven was as pristine as always. There was little change to indicate that anything important had happened or was about to happen. There were always fresh flowers. It was always spotless. There was one little change. There were photographs scattered throughout the apartment. Most of the pictures were taken during the cruise including the one black and white one that now dominated the foyer. To some, this change would hardly be noticeable, to me it was huge.

"Wow," I blinked. "This is quite a change. Why aren't there any pictures of your family or mine in here?"

"There are," he nodded toward the office.

I walked in there to see photographs on the wall of my family and of his. I put my finger up and tapped one photograph of an older man that resembled Ranger a lot with a woman who was almost as tall with jet black hair and deep dimples. "These are your parents?"

"Yes," he agreed.

I grinned at a photo of his family when he was a child. He was probably about ten years old. There were six children in the picture. He looked furious.

"I didn't like having my picture taken," he said in amusement. "I also hated that blue suit."

"Well, it is a little bit seventies," I agreed with a giggle.

"Not in Cuban culture. In Cuban culture that suit was the height of fashion," he sighed.

"You look very cute."

"How did you know that was me? I think Rafael looks very much like me."

"It's the scowl. It looks almost the same today," I laughed.

He shook his head. "Anyway, that's Rafe and my older sister Celia. And those are my three younger sisters Madeline, Marceline and Mariella. They are triplets."

"So you're the middle child," I smiled up at him.

"Yep," he nodded.

"A lot is explained."

"What does that mean," he scooped me up and carried me into the bedroom.

"Well, middle children tend to be more rebellious and they end up trying much harder to be successful in unorthodox ways than older children or younger children."

"What about you? You're the baby."

"I am," I nodded. "But because there were only two of us and Val was so friggin perfect I have a lot of the middle child shit as well as the younger child hedonistic tendencies."

"You don't say," he said settling me on the already turned down bed.

"I do say. What time will they be here?"

"Not till about seven."

"I have time for a long nap then," I yawned.

"**We** have time for a long nap," he assured me and removed the sling before he pulled the tee shirt gently over my head.

I blinked up at him, "what are you doing?"

"Undressing you for bed," he said as he tugged my bra off and reached for the button on my jeans. He pulled my shoes off and my socks and then tugged my jeans down. Then he pulled the million count sheets up over me. "I'm going to take a shower."

"Okay," I nodded. I lay there listening to the shower and wondered if he was really just taking a shower or dealing with the bulge that had been in his pants when he tucked me in. That made me smile. So I needed a shower massage, but Ranger wasn't immune to me and my body. I suppose I'd always known that. I closed my eyes and let my mind drift to what was happening in the other room and I soon felt that familiar tingle between my legs. I moaned softly and squeezed my eyes closed as the shower turned off. I'd just have to be asleep when he returned.

I grabbed the new bottle of pain meds and swallowed the pill with some water already at the bed side, and then I rested my arm up on the extra pillow and sighed.

Ranger crawled into bed a few minutes later damp and clean shaven and of course nekkid. He rolled over and wrapped around me taking care not to disturb my arm.

"Feel better," I sighed.

"Some," he agreed.

Seconds later his erection was rising against my thigh and I couldn't stop the smile. "I guess you weren't in there long enough."

He growled and tugged me closer and buried his lips in my neck. "Babe…I swear to God."

"What," I said mischievously.

His thumb and forefinger tweaked my nipple lightly. "You know what."

I laughed. "I'm afraid I'm in no position to participate in your acrobatic sexual tendencies."

"Acrobatic," he rose up to blink at me wide-eyed.

"Well, I just took a pain pill and I'll be out soon, at least I'm pretty sure I will," I yawned.

"Right," he nodded and his hand slid down my body and into the g-string. "I don't think this will take long."

"What are you doing," I blinked at him wide-eyed.

"Babe…it's been way too long if you don't recognize this," he said nuzzling into my cheek as his fingers slid inside me. "Hmmm…you're wet. Were you thinking about me in the shower?"

"I...er…I…er," I moaned as his talented fingers slid over a hot spot.

He sat up and removed the panties quickly and buried his face where his fingers had been and he was right, seconds later I was flying. I was straining against an orgasm that was too long coming. "See…that wasn't bad, was it?"

I panted and swallowed and tried to focus as he moved over me, "Ranger…"

"Yes Babe," he said softly scattering kisses over my face.

"Make love to me," I whispered.

"As you wish," he said and slid into me.

I woke up much, much later and I was alone in the bed. My first thought was that I sure did feel good. My second thought was damn, damn, damn! How in the hell was I supposed to hold out against the man? He was the sexiest thing on two legs and I loved him and I wanted him. Oh…and he knew that. He had all the friggin cards.

I sighed and stretched and groaned. Muscles I hadn't used in a while were complaining. They'd have to get used to it I guess. I got up and wrapped my arm in plastic and headed for the shower.

"What are you doing," Ranger said blandly a few moments later leaning over the shower door.

"I'm taking a shower. You know…washing myself."

"You'll get your arm wet."

I turned to show him the wrapped arm.

"Hmmm," he sighed thoughtfully and began to strip. "I still think it's a good idea if I'm the one doing the washing."

"You're just trying to have sex with me again."

"You asked me to last time," he reminded me reaching for the bottle of shampoo after stepping into the shower.

"No fair…you knew I was weak. I was drugged."

"All's fair in love and war Babe."

"Which is this," I raised a brow at him.

"You decide," he said softly lathering my head.

I sighed and relaxed against him. It was wrong that he could take me from 0 to 6,000 on the horny scale in seconds. It just freaking wasn't fair at all.

"That's why all is fair," he said with a chuckle.

"Damn big mouth," I sighed as his hands strayed down to my breasts. "There is no hair down there soldier."

"I'm washing you," he said and picked up the scrunchy and liberally applied bath gel.

"Sure you are cowboy," I rolled my eyes and reached for the conditioner.

"I'll do it," he took the conditioner from me and put the scrunchy on the shelf.

"You can't do everything."

"The hell I can't."

"What time is it?"

"It's almost six."

"Your parents will be here at seven," I gasped, "oh my God. There is no way I'll be ready in time."

"Of course you will. When we finish the shower you'll dry your hair and put some of those nice silk pajamas on that Ella bought you and you'll climb into bed. When my parents arrive I'll bring them into the bedroom to meet you and I'll carry you into the dining room when it's time for dinner."

"I'm not an invalid," I glared.

"Babe, you just got over a concussion and it's debatable whether that's completely gone. Right now you have a bullet wound in your arm. You also have untold scratches, scrapes and boo-boos."

"Boo-boos," I raised a brow.

"Yea," he leaned down to kiss the swell of my breast, "there's one right there."

My eyes narrowed and I looked down at my boobs. "I don't see anything."

"You're on drugs," he reminded me.

"You're horny," I stated letting my eyes drift down to the erection bobbing between us. "You're horny and there's no blood in your brain because that thing," I tapped his erection eliciting a moan, "has all of the blood. You can't be thinking rationally right now."

"And you are," he asked turning me around and tugging me against his body.

"Well, I was," I groaned. "You're cheating."

"All's fair…"

"…in love and war," I sighed. "Yea, I got that."

You know we did it again. I wish I could say 'oops, we did it again', but that really wasn't what I was feeling at all. I had no oops factor. I had ahhh factor. Anyway after that he dried my hair and helped me into my pajamas and had just settled me into the bed when Ella arrived with the appetizers. He had just finished dressing when the doorbell rang again, and this time I felt my entire body tense and not in a good way.

A few moments later Ranger came into the bedroom with his parents. "Mama, Papa, this is Stephanie."

"Oh Stephanie…you're so beautiful," his mother gushed sitting beside me on the bed with care. The photographs in the paper do not do you justice."

"Thank you," I blushed. I knew I looked bad. She was just a nice person.

Ranger's father contemplated me thoughtfully, "you have had my son wrapped around your littlest finger for years now, yet Louisa and I had begun to give up hope that he would ever marry you."

I laughed, "He's not the marrying kind."

"Oh I think he is niña," his mother said with a slight smile. "But when it's about you, he definitely is the marrying kind."

I smiled up at Ranger and watched the color run up his face.

"Ricardo, I can't believe you have kept this delightful child away from us for so long," she sighed. "Now, what do you need? I will cook you something."

"As much as I would love that," I sighed, "Ella has already prepared dinner for us. My dinner will be something bland."

"Why," she said in shock.

"Because I've had a little concussion," I sighed. "They don't want me to do anything that causes exertion." I suddenly realized what Ranger and I had done earlier and blinked up at him owlishly.

He groaned.

"Ricardo," she smacked at his leg. "She's healing. You can't force her to give into your selfish pleasures at the expense of her health. You leave her alone until she's better."

He raised a brow at me.

"Sorry," I mouthed.

"I'll get the appetizers," he said and disappeared.

"So, he said you got married on the beach very spur of the moment," his father said.

"Yes sir," I nodded.

"But you're Catholic, right?"

"Yes sir," I nodded again.

"Good," Louisa sighed in relief. "You know that Ricardo has been married before?"

"Yes ma'am. I was too, well…not in the eyes of the Church of course, it was annulled."

She crossed herself, "then it doesn't count. What man would not stay married to you?"

"A man who would cheat on his new wife on their new dining room table," Ranger said returning with the tray of appetizers.

Louisa gasped.

His father shook his head and muttered in Spanish.

"Ricardo's marriage was annulled as well," she sighed. "But the little one, she's still legal in the eyes of the Church."

"Julie's a good kid," I smiled. "And she's so beautiful."

"She is," she agreed enthusiastically. "You'll have more children?"

I blinked.

"Mama, we're taking it slow. We got married very suddenly."

"What suddenly, you've been waiting almost four years," his father raised his brow.

I grinned. Ranger was getting the eyebrow raise from his father. I'd always wondered where he learned to do it and now I was seeing the master. It would be a good idea to watch him for tips.

Louisa Manoso grinned at me, "Have you learned to do it yet? It took me years but I finally mastered it."

I raised my right brow.

"Very good," Mr. Manoso grinned.

"I can only do the right one so far," I admitted.

"By the time you're my age," Louisa patted my good arm, "they'll be interchangeable."

"Cool," I grinned.

"But what about children," Louisa asked. "Ricardo is not getting any younger."

I started to tell her that he was only a couple of months older than me, but decided it was best that she not hear that. "He wants to wait."

"It's…" Ranger ran his hand through his hair in frustration as his parents fixed their expectant gaze on him. "I just…we don't have any experience. I think we should start small."

"Babies are small," His father said seriously.

"No, he means like fish," I raised a brow at Ranger challenging him to deny it in front of his parents.

"Fish," Louisa blinked incredulously. "You can't nurture a fish. You can't teach a fish to walk or talk or ride a bike."

"Then after the fish he says we can get a kitten," I said with a grin.

"Kitten," his father bellowed. "First you have these commitment issues."

"I do not have commitment issues Papa," Ranger said between gritted teeth.

"Well, not now…you're married. But you can't commit to a baby? You can commit to a fish or a kitten."

"When we've done well with the kitten, we're getting a puppy," I said cheerfully. I had to be cheerful; because I was pretty sure I was going to die after they left.

"Huhn," Louisa said with pursed lips and narrowed eyes. "You're afraid of babies Ricardo."

"Is that it _Ricardo_," I said innocently. The look he gave me in reply should have frightened me, but oddly it didn't.

"I am not afraid. I'm going to check on dinner," he said disappearing.

Louisa took my hand. "It will be all right little one. He'll come around. Don't you worry about a thing. For now you need to call us Mama and Papa. Okay?"

"Okay Mama," I beamed at her. This was turning out to be a pretty good day.

By the time Mama and Papa left I was clearly their favorite between the two of us. Ranger was in big trouble. Mostly it was because he wouldn't let me have a baby and secondly because he forced me to have sex. HA! In any case, they adored me and he was on their poopy list. I was good with that.

Ranger sighed and settled me back into the bed. "Did you have to tell them about the fish?"

"Was that bad? Isn't it part of your plan?"

He shook his head. "They're never going to let up now."

"They love you. They want you to have what they have. You understand it. It's just like my parents."

"I understand your parents."

"How can you understand my parents and not understand your own?"

"Yours are sane," he raised a brow as he climbed into bed.

"Okay…you're nuts," I said rolling over. "There's no talking to you when you're like this."

"Babe…"

"I assumed that you'd want your parents to think our marriage was normal just as I want my parents to think its normal. Was I wrong?"

"No," He sighed.

"I did the same things you did. I thought I did a good job," I said smugly.

"You did a great job. They're going to want custody of you."

I couldn't blame them. I was sweet and lovable and their son was an ass.


	16. Chapter 16 The Dick File

I think the disclaimer at the beginning should suffice for the entire thing. Therefore...here's the next chapter. Read it in good health.

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The next day I was feeling much better and after a quick trip to the doctor to make sure it was okay, I was back to looking for suspects. Since I was already in the car and Tank was driving I was ready to hit the road and see if I could find the Dick when my cell phone rang.

"Yo," I muttered pulling up everything I had on the Dick on my laptop.

"Girl…did Christian tell you that we weren't going to do the talk show?"

"Yea Lula, I'm real sorry."

"I was, but listen…you heard about the radio show?"

"Right," I agreed.

"Well, I'm doing it at night you know coz its _Lula, Life and Love_ and that's really an after dark kind of audience, you know what I mean?"

"I do," I agreed with a shudder. There was just no telling what she'd talk about or how much of her and Tank's sex life would make its way to the air. There was one thing that was certain about Lula…she loved sex and she loved talking about sex. She had probably been a really good ho. "I also know that you're going to be great at it. I mean it."

"Awww...thanks hon," she said.

"You're welcome," I smiled.

"Anyway, that's not the reason I called. The reason I called is because the studio changed their minds about the talk show and wants us to go on and do a couple of weeks of it because they've got Brenda under some contract and all that shit anyway. So…"

"So," I raised a brow.

"So I want you to be on the show," she rushed the words out. "Well, Brenda and me and Christian was talking and we think you'd be a great host to the show."

"What," I blinked.

"You're the Bombshell Bounty Hunter," she said quickly. "Everybody in Trenton and hell in all of New Jersey knows who you are. Do the show. It's only a couple of weeks."

I sighed, "You want me on the show for a couple of weeks?"

"Marina had to get back to her other job. We talked it all out, I mean it. We think you'd be the best host. You can fill up a couple of weeks with no problem coz you've done all the shit you've done. Hell, we can do a whole show on you and your cars," she giggled.

"Very funny," I said dryly.

"Yep, and an episode of you rolling in garbage. Oh...oh...oh, and an episode on all the times you've gotten stunned."

"Most of that was by Joyce...or you," I scowled.

"Well...when I did it, it was by accident," she defended. "What about when Cal did it?"

"Right," I sighed. "Lula…can't you do it? it will be good practice for your radio show."

"Girl…I could. But you know I alreayd signed me a contract with the radio station and I can't appear on air without their permission and they don't give it. Besides, the studio people think you should do it. They think you'd be great. I was telling them that I know you and all and…"

"You know I have a job of my own?"

"Sure I know that," she sighed. "But I also know you haven't been doing it since you and Ranger announced that you got hitched. You're available."

"And I have some insane lunatic after me."

"You'll be safe on the set. And Rangeman can take over Security."

I sighed, "I'll have to talk to Ranger about this. He's not going to be happy about dealing with Brenda again. He's not going to be happy about me doing a public television show at this time either."

"Of course you do," she hurried to agree. "I talked to my husband about it last night."

"Oh did you," I cast a glare in Tank's direction.

He shifted uncomfortably in the driver's seat.

"Just think about it Steph," she said quietly.

"I'll talk to Ranger and let you know."

"Like….today," she said softly.

"Oh Jeez…you already told them that I'd do it, didn't you?"

"Not exactly, I just told them that you were my friend and you owed me on account of you stole my wedding day."

"I did not. We got married on the thirteenth."

"Friday the thirteenth," she hissed and I heard the immediate ptui-ptui following her words to exorcise the idea.

"It's okay Lula," I sighed. I would have laughed, but honestly there was a small part of me that was just a little bit freaked out about that whole thing. Like the whole thing didn't freak me out anyway.

"I don't see how white girl. I don't see how." She disconnected immediately after that.

"Your wife is a strange woman," I said to Tank as I put my phone back in my purse.

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I promised," he sighed.

"I've already got a stalker trying to kill me. I don't see how putting my face on television every day for a couple of weeks is going to help me."

"Rangeman will do your protection and they'll pay us."

I sighed, "Tank…"

"Everybody does know who you are. You could get a couple of your regulars to come on and they can tell how you've taken them in and you could bring up some of the murders you've solved as well. Plus…it would be free advertising for Rangeman. We'd probably explode off the charts with calls even in this economy."

I sighed, "We'll see what Ranger says."

"Okay," he shrugged.

For some reason I had the feeling he already knew about it.

"Tank, turn right on Maple. I've got a note in my Dick file that he had a house on this street."

"You have a _Dick_ file," he raised a brow.

"It's not as exciting as it sounds," I snickered.

He rolled his eyes. The burg was really rubbing off on the guys at Rangeman. Or…it could be me that was rubbing off on them. "Is there anything worthwhile in that file?"

"Yea…I have some useful information in it," I nodded.

"Okay," he shook his head. Moments later he parked in front of 1214 Maple and cut the engine. "This dump belongs to the Dick?"

"I guess he must have lived here before he got his practice going."

"This is…not pretty."

"Maybe he's a slum lord," I frowned.

"Or something," he agreed.

"We'll never find out anything sitting here," I shrugged.

"You sit here. I'll go make sure it's safe."

"Tank…"

"Don't bother. I need to bring you back whole or Ranger is going to break both of my legs and my arms and most likely my head."

I sighed. "Fine…make sure it's safe."

I watched him knock on the door and after a few minutes a woman came to the door. I'd have known that skank anywhere. It was my mortal enemy Joyce Barnhardt. Don't roll your eyes at me. She is my mortal enemy. She's my arch nemesis. She's my…why oh why didn't I kill her? She glanced over at the car and smiled and said something to Tank.

I decided it would probably be best to let him handle this one. Obviously if I went to the door there might be some kind of throw down and I wasn't really in any shape to take her out. I didn't even have a weapon on me. I sighed. Why didn't I listen to Ranger more? Gasp! I did not think that. I did not.

Tank and the bimbo exchanged a few words. She frowned thoughtfully before answering a couple of them. She shifted on her feet and her robe gaped showing that she wasn't wearing anything underneath that covered anything important. Oh it also showed that she'd had a boob job. Jesus…they were big enough before. Focus Stephanie! Focus! Eventually they ran out of words and Tank came walking back to the SUV shaking his head.

"What'd she say," I blinked watching her go inside and close the door.

"She rents the place from Dickie for a reasonable sum."

"Harrumph," I rolled my eyes. "She probably screws him for rent."

"She might," he shook his head. "She showed me her assets."

"She was trying to distract you. Besides those bitches were so big I could see them from here," I scowled.

"I should have told her that once you've seen Lula's boobs, other boobs are all tiny in comparison."

I glanced down at my smallish breasts and sighed.

"She says that she doesn't see him much."

"Right," I rolled my eyes again.

"She also says he hasn't cashed her last rent check."

"She says she pays rent," I said incredulously.

"That's what she said," he said pulling out of the neighborhood onto the main highway.

I sighed, "She seemed in a cheerful mood for a tramp."

Tank chuckled, "She says she's got company or she would ask us in."

"She's only going to ask me in if the place is booby-trapped and not by her boobies."

He shook his head. "She had some black leather or something on under that getup she was wearing."

"I knew she was some kind of kinky dominatrix."

"That's what it looked like. She had on like six inch stilettos."

"Wow," I blinked. "I bet she's hooking," I added cheerfully.

"Maybe," he said and stopped at the red light.

"Once can only hope," I sighed.

"Do you have anything else that's useful in your Dick file?"

"No," I sighed. "Let's head back to the offices and I'll do some digging."

"Good idea. There's less chance you'll get killed there," he steered the SUV toward Rangeman.

"Do you know if they've found anything in the rubble that was my house yet?"

"Yes, they have some stuff put aside for you, but not much was salvageable."

"Okay," I nodded.

When we arrived at Rangeman I headed for my office and dusted the keyboard off and started to work. I went through my emails first and apologized for not getting back to people sooner. I called Ranger and asked him who would visit the clients while I was on house arrest and he said he would. We discussed when he'd be available and I made appointments for him with prospective clients and emailed him with those dates and times.

Then I used all of Rangeman's considerable resources to get information about the Dick. Because we'd had a fairly recent run in with him, there wasn't that much new information to add. But bloodhound that I am, I kept digging. I found out where he'd travelled. I checked into every purchase. The odd thing was that there was absolutely no activity on any of his accounts since the day after my marriage to Ranger had been made common knowledge. He hadn't eaten or bought gas or anything.

I went to Ranger's office and tapped on the door.

"Enter," he called.

"I've been researching the Dick," I said leaning in the doorway.

"Did you find anything?"

I made a face, "it's more what I didn't find. There has been no activity on any of his accounts since the day after my dad saw him. I mean there's been nothing. He hasn't even used his alarm code at his house or at his office. He's gone Ranger. He may not be dead, but he's definitely not out running around living his life."

"Do you think someone killed him?"

"I'm beginning to think the blood pool is his," I said seriously. "Look, you know Dickie isn't my favorite person in the world, but I don't wish him ill will. I don't really wish anyone ill will except maybe…"

"Joyce," he said and his lips tilted into a smirk.

"Don't say her name," I glared at him. "You may refer to her as skank."

"Skank," he raised a brow.

"Yes," I nodded. "You married me so now she's your mortal enemy too."

"Of course," he nodded studying me with pursed lips. "You're nuts, you know that, right?"

"Yep," I agreed and left his office.

Tank caught me on the way out, "hey…I've got some papers for you to sign."

"I'm not taking twenty percent of this company," I shook my head.

He sighed, "No…it's the insurance claims for your house."

"Oh," I sighed and followed him into his office. I sank down in front of his desk and took the sheaf of papers from him. "All of this?"

"You had insurance on the house. You had insurance on the car. You had insurance on the contents of your house. Ranger had insurance on his things in your house. That was a new policy too."

"He'll have to sign that one, won't he?"

"It requires your signature too because his belongings were in your house. I'm enclosing the police reports with everything as well as newspaper articles showing that someone is attempting to kill you. You'll get your money pretty fast."

I nodded and signed the paperwork. I wasn't so sure about that last part. I mean, I had made a lot of insurance claims what with my bad luck. I didn't see it happening all that quickly. But Tank was optomistic and I didn't want to see his face fall.

"Sure you don't want to give me one more signature."

I got to my feet and headed out the door, "in your dreams Thibodeaux."

I heard him laughing even as I headed back to my office.

Once I settled back in, I picked up my phone and called TPD. I asked for whoever was working the case on Dickie Orr's disappearance and got Big Dog.

"Hey Dog," I said cheerfully. Big Dog was an ass, but he was a good cop.

"Hey sweet thing," he said. "I hear congratulations are in order."

"Yes, they are," I agreed.

"Manoso's a lucky son-of-a-bitch," he said happily.

"I think so too," I agreed.

"So what's up," he asked.

"You're working Dickie's case?"

"Yea," he agreed.

"I wanted to let you in on some things that I know and if you already know them, I'm sorry for wasting your time."

"We don't know much honey," he admitted.

"My Dad saw him the day before he disappeared with someone he recognized, but he can't remember who it was."

"How do you know when he disappeared?"

"His financials show that he went missing the day before my car was bombed."

"Oh, I hadn't gotten that info back yet."

"One of the perks of being in the fed's pocket for so many years is our extensive search database," I laughed.

"I'd say," he said seriously. "So…he's had no activity since then?"

"His last activity was the day prior at about four PM," I nodded. "And his alarm wasn't set at his house by him since that morning."

"That timeline fits with our forensics at his house," he said seriously.

"Do you think he's alive?"

"I don't know. We haven't finished our analysis of the crime scene yet," I admitted. "When I know something…I'll let you know."

"Thanks Stephanie. It's nice to have such great citizen cooperation. Was Dickie a suspect?"

"Yea…none of my FTA's panned out, so we moved on to exes."

"That's a good direction to follow. Do you think the crimes are connected?"

"I almost think they have to be at this point. I just don't believe in coincidence that much, do you?"

"Nope," he agreed.

"Okay, I'll let you go."

"Thanks for the input Steph," he said seriously.

"No prob," I said. "Bye Dog." I hung up the phone and leaned back in my chair. TPD knew less than we did. I sat there for a few moments and then shut down my computer and went upstairs to start dinner.

I was in the kitchen humming and stirring the pot when Ranger came home.

"Hey," he said kissing my neck. "That smells delicious. What is it?"

"Just chicken Teriyaki," I said with a smile.

"How was your search today," he asked peering into the rice cooker.

"You already know what I found out. I called Big Dog to tell him what I knew."

"Good idea," he nodded. "We could use some help on this one."

"They know less than we do," I sighed heavily.

"It's going to be all right," he said softly and kissed my neck again. "Do I have time for a shower before dinner?"

"Yea," I said absently heading for the ringing house phone, "hello."

"Die bitch," the gravelly voice snarled, "just die." Then they hung up.

I stared at the phone in my hand in bemusement.

"Babe," Ranger frowned at me from the doorway in just his pants.

"Hmm," I said absently not even looking at him since my eyes were still glued to the receiver in my hand.

"Who was that," he came to take the receiver from my hand and return it to the cradle.

"Oh that," I blinked up at him, "that was someone who wants me dead."

He pulled me into his arms and cradled my broken body gently against him, "we'll find them Babe. We'll find them and we'll stop them."

"Yea," I said blankly, "yea."


	17. Chapter 17 Bridal Showers & Splinters

You know the disclaimer drill. :)

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The next day when I woke up I was determined not to let this whole 'somebody wants me dead' thing get me down. Ranger and I were supposed to attend a couple's bridal shower for Natalie and Cal that evening. We'd bought them gifts when we were registering ourselves. Some gifts we'd had sent on as their actual wedding present, and some we kept back including some things that were just jokes. It was going to be an evening party and I was looking forward to it. I knew that Ranger would have the perimeter covered so we should be safe.

I didn't know what I was going to wear to the shindig though so I went into the closet and just stood for a really long time.

"What are you doing Babe," Ranger frowned at me from the doorway.

"I'm trying to decide what to wear to the shower tonight," I sighed.

"Babe…I know that your wardrobe is limited compared to before, but there are plenty of nice things in there for you to wear."

"That's easy to say coming from a man who has one outfit."

He rolled his eyes. "I have more than one outfit."

"Prove it. Wear something out of character tonight."

"Like what?"

"It's a couple's party and it says dress is casual. I'll figure out what we're wearing and you have to wear whatever I choose."

"Okay," he shrugged.

"Okay," I blinked in surprise. An idea started forming in my mind. "What are you doing?"

"There's a M. Knight Shyamalan movie coming on."

"Which one," I asked.

"_**The Lady in the Water**_," he said.

"Oooh, I've wanted to see that one."

"I know," he smiled. "Can your wardrobe planning wait until after the movie? We can eat some breakfast and watch it?"

"Will you make me one of your famous breakfast burritos?"

"How do you know about that," his eyes narrowed.

"Ella told me."

"Okay, get comfortable on the couch and I'll make breakfast."

"Done," I agreed, "after I go to the bathroom." I dilly dallied in the bathroom and arrived in the living room just as the opening credits started and just as Ranger delivered me a plate with a huge burrito sitting on it. "Holy cow," I blinked.

"It's what you asked for," he assured me.

"I believe you. Is Tank going to help me eat it? You know my appetite hasn't been that good lately."

"Give it your best shot," he winked and turned to the movie.

Okay, I told you that when I'm at Dr. Addison's office that I'm sometimes a pacer. I'm not much of a crier, but I am a pacer. Well, I'm sort of the same way with certain kinds of movies. _**The Lady in the Water**_ was definitely one of those movies.

"Babe," Ranger growled on my sixth lap, "will you please sit down."

"I can't," I said nervously.

"Babe," he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me down in his lap and wrapped his arms around me. "Sit here quietly and watch the rest of the movie."

"I don't do anything silently," I hissed.

He groaned. Yea he did, besides he knew I was right.

Of course, that little groan was enough to distract me from my movie discomfort and allow me to focus on Ranger's discomfort which was really way more entertaining. The movie was good. Making my husband insane was much more fun. I shifted in his lap and wriggled a little bit to find a comfortable spot. I could feel him growing and hardening beneath my ass and hid a smile.

He groaned again and his hands tightened on me just for a split second before he relaxed his grip.

I relaxed against him and let him shift me in his arms until I was leaning against the side of the couch where the pillows were stacked and my ass was still firmly on his lap. I turned my face to the television and let my fingers run over the hand on my lap absently. At least I hoped that it appeared as though I was concentrating on the movie and not on driving him insane with need. To me, it was a little bit of payback for all those times he'd kissed me in the alley to the point of no return and then calmly walked away. This would be my alley. I could feel him throbbing under me and did my best to keep my gaze on the television. I wouldn't let him see it. I wouldn't.

The movie credits rolled not too long after that.

"Wow," I sat up straight and he groaned again. "That movie was great. I can't believe I had every single member of everything wrong. The guild wasn't the guild, the guardian wasn't the guardian, the healer wasn't the healer, and the symbolist wasn't the symbolist."

"You had the sisters pegged as the guild," he reminded me.

"Yea, but there was more to it than that," I sighed.

"True," he got to his feet taking me with him and walked toward the bedroom.

"Is it nap time?"

"Yea," he growled low.

"Your mother…"

"My mother isn't here. You did it on purpose. You get to pay the consequences."

Okay, he was right. So…I did.

When Ranger and I showed up at Natalie and Cal's door wearing faded jeans and white button up shirts under blue sweaters Natalie got moony eyed and Cal laughed. Ranger gave him the eye.

"Cal…I want us to dress alike sometime," Natalie cuddled against her huge fiancé's side.

"Honey," he groaned.

"They look so cute," she sighed.

Cal rolled his eyes and glared at Ranger.

Ranger just raised a brow.

That was pretty much the reaction we got from everyone at the party. The girls loved it and the guys…not so much. By the time we got to dinner, Ranger was pretty relaxed. There's a part of him that loved messing with the guys. There's a bigger part of him that loved that they would soon be in the same boat he was in. The women were busy planning coordinating outfits and the guys were begging for quick and painless death.

Ranger leaned back in his chair with a glass of red wine in one hand and his other hand in my hair at my neck. Tank was telling everyone about Lula's mouse scare. She was being a drama queen. The girls were all wide-eyed. The guys, except Lester…who is afraid of mice, were grinning. Well, I was grinning too. Gabe ran a toe up Lester's leg and he screamed like a girl and we all had a big laugh. Ranger was relaxed. I was relaxed. It was a good party.

"All right Stephanie," Natalie leaned forward. "Who did you piss off this time?"

I laughed, "Nobody that I know of. Come on, you don't want to talk about this tonight, do you? This is your night."

"Well, I have to talk to you as much as I can since there's no telling when the next attack on your person will be that hides you away in your ivory tower till you have gray hair."

"That's so not funny," I shook my head and glared at Ranger.

"Hey…I'm just keeping my wife safe. I think it was in our vows somewhere."

"Bull shit," I shook my head. "When I get the tape from Manuel, I'm going to have the wedding transcribed to look for your lies."

"Babe," he said looking at me woefully.

"Don't," I shook a finger at him.

"If something happens to you, who will help me raise the puppy and the kitten?"

"Don't forget the fish," Tank said straight-faced.

"Yea, don't forget the fish," I rolled my eyes. "I think you'll handle it."

"You're more nurturing than I am."

"We don't even have the fish yet, much less the kitten or the puppy."

"Or a house," Lester said with a nod.

"You're not helping," Ranger glared at him. "And we may have a house. We're going to look at one tomorrow."

"We are," I blinked at him.

"We are," he nodded. "Reid called and we're looking at the red and purple one."

"Red and purple," Cal blinked at him in shock. "You didn't show me the red and purple one. You let me see the southern one by the lake and the Munster's house."

"I love the Munster house," Natalie sighed. "We put an offer in on it and it was accepted."

"Oh my God Natalie," I laughed.

"Yep," Cal grinned. "Add us to the list of home owners."

"What are you going to do about the condo," Mitch asked.

"Sell it," he shrugged.

"I'm in the market for a condo," Mitch said seriously. "Yours is pretty sweet. Do the appliances stay?"

"All but the washer and dryer," he nodded.

"I have a washer and dryer," Carrie smiled up at him sweetly.

"Dude…we'll talk," Mitch grinned.

"Wow…that was easy," Cal laughed. "But seriously Ranger…you're looking at a red and purple house."

"It's also green," I said smugly. "It's hunter green. You just can't see the green because you're too distracted by the red and purple."

Ranger frowned at me. "It's green too?"

I nodded.

"I've seen a couple of houses like that," Connie said. "There was this great Craftsman bungalow that I looked at. I loved that house. It sold before I could make an offer though."

"Oh that sounds cute," Marina sighed. "What was the other one?"

"Some weird Victorian-like house," she shrugged.

"That would be a Russian Victorian," Ranger said with a slight smile. "It has the turrets as well as a few different architectural details. It's larger than the average Victorian and has larger rooms usually. They're unique and there aren't many here."

"Russian Victorian," Natalie sighed. "I had a doll house like that when I was a kid."

"Me too," I grinned at her.

"Does the house look like your doll house?"

"Well…I think it's got more rooms," I laughed. "It's similar."

Lester shook his head. "You're serious about this?"

"Yea," I nodded. "When we finish it, it will be amazing. It used to have an indoor pool, but they covered it and destroyed it. I want to dig it back out. How cool will that be?"

"That's pretty cool," Woody nodded.

"It needs a lot of work Babe," Ranger said seriously.

"I know," I agreed. "But when it's done it will be ours."

He leaned over and kissed me, "okay."

"Okay," I blinked up at him.

"If you still love it as much after you've toured it, we'll buy it."

"Sucker," someone called.

"Whipped," Someone else said.

"Takes one to know one," Ranger said with a smile and sat back in his chair.

The women all laughed. Nobody bothered to disagree.

We'd all decided that we'd give them a serious present and a 'joke' present. Tank and Lula's joke present was a dominatrix set for Natalie and a ball gag and hood for Cal. When I saw the look on Natalie and Cal's faces, I wasn't sure it was such a joke after all.

Ranger grinned and nudged me.

Connie and Woody gave them sex toys, a pocket vagina and a lifelike dildo of extremely generous size. The dildo wasn't all that impressive to me, Ranger was about that size. Honestly, Natalie didn't look that impressed either. I suppose Cal gave the dildo a run for its money.

Lester and Marina gave them XXX rated movies. They looked happy about that gift too. I was beginning to think that no gift was going to be a joke gift as we'd planned it.

Ram and Hazel gave them some books including _**The Joy of Sex**_ and _**The Karma Sutra. **_I'd have been surprised if they didn't already have those books. After all, according to Natalie, Cal had the power to render her unconscious at any time he chose.

Carrie and Mitch's gift was a little more low key. They gave them matching nightwear. I suppose Mitch didn't want to go too crazy, after all he and Carrie were still pretty new to the whole dating game.

Gabe and Padma gave them a bedroom doorknob with a lock. They said as parenthood approached, this seemed to be a valuable tool. They were probably right, but fish, kittens and puppies probably didn't know how to open doors so I was unconcerned about my future.

Since the party was limited to seven couples, we were last.

Natalie frowned at the large box. "I have no idea what's in this."

Inside the box was a step ladder, a sex swing, and some flesh colored paint.

Everyone at the table blinked at the items before Lester started howling with laughter.

"I don't get it," Natalie frowned.

"The sex swing is for obvious purposes," I pointed out.

"Got it," she nodded. "We'll use it in good health."

"The step ladder is so you can reach Cal any time you need to," Ranger grinned.

Natalie's lip twitched and Cal glared at Ranger.

"Okay, what about the paint," Cal frowned.

"Dude…you've been whining for three weeks about meeting Nat's folks with the giant tattoo on your head," Lester howled with laughter again.

Cal blinked and burst out laughing and everyone at the table joined in.

"Whose idea was that," Natalie said wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes.

"Ranger's," I grinned. "It's non toxic."

"Laugh away guys, but I may use it," Cal shook his head.

"Baby…they won't care as long as you make me happy," she assured him.

He leaned over and kissed her.

If there were prizes for best joke present, we'd have won.

We left before everyone else explaining that I still had to recover. We walked out of the place holding hands and smiling. Then the whine of bullets passing near broke us apart as Ranger pushed me back into some hedges and pulled his gun. Minutes later the other guys were there with guns drawn and it was something that resembled a shoot out. I admit it once again took me back to Boston and that whole first hail of gunfire thing. Yea…I was over the novelty. I heard sirens in the distance and then the roar of a vehicle burning rubber.

Then I heard Ranger cursing before he ran to pull me out of the bushes. "Are you okay Babe," he ran his hands over me gently.

"I'm fine," I sighed sticking my finger in my mouth. "I just have a splinter from hitting the ground."

Carrie took me by the arms and led me back into the house with a backward look at the guys. While they were out there trying to catch the bad guys, I was in the house with the women being cared for and getting my splinter removed by a professional.

"You guys have such exciting lives," Carrie said with a smile as she accepted another glass of wine from Lula.

"For some reason, it's never quiet in Trenton," Natalie agreed with a sigh.

"It's the suck zone," Carrie nodded.

I met her eyes over my cup of tea and we grinned at each other.

"The suck zone," Lula frowned.

"You know…it's one of those crazy places in the universe that just attracts insanity," Carrie frowned.

"You mean like swamp monsters and…"

"Diesel," Lula blinked.

"I'm not sure he'd be flattered by the description, but you're on the right track."

"The special people," she nodded. "That's what he tracks."

"Right," Carrie nodded, "unmentionables."

"Got it," she nodded. "You know I just feel better knowing that there's a reason."

I grinned.

"Mitch thinks Stephanie may be a magnet," Carrie said seriously.

"That would explain a lot," Natalie nodded.

"Well, in any case, I'm sorry to be magnetizing insanity on the night of your party," I said sadly.

"Honey, don't worry about it," she hugged me. "One thing is sure, I'll never forget it."

"Hmmm…on that note, I think I'll go outside and see what my husband has discovered."

All seven of us went outside to find a bunch of Rangeman vehicles and police cars in front of the house.

"They better not be parked in my grass," Lula growled.

"They're not," I said glancing around. "All of our tires are flat."

"They didn't want us giving chase," Lester said seriously.

"Obviously," Connie said. "I'll talk to my Uncle and find out what the word on the street is. When it gets out that I was here when this happened, he's not going to be happy."

I nodded. She was right.

"And when it gets out that Harry the Hammer's business is being endangered because all of his son-in-law's employees almost got hit…it's not going to be pretty."

"No it's not," Lula grinned.

"We'll put a sock in this," she said, "Woody…baby do you need help changing that tire?" She said walking toward him.

"You know," Carrie grinned as she watched the women go to their men without fear, "I like it here. There are no mamby pamby sissy women here waiting to be rescued. You're women!"

I grinned back at her, "welcome to Trenton Carrie. Welcome to the suck zone."


	18. Chapter 18 Terri & a House or two

The usual disclaimers.

You know...you guys are the best. I'm so spoiled by your kind reviews. Thank you to everyone. Deb.

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We were on the scene of the attack till much later than we obviously intended to be at the couple's bridal shower. I had to give my statement a couple of times to the men in uniform. Once again, I hadn't seen anything of use to anyone. The only thing I knew was that there was an automatic weapon.

I was weary at four AM when we returned to Rangeman. Ranger sent me up in the elevator to the seventh floor and headed for the Com. He had a feeling we might be getting lucky this time. They'd have video. Tank and Lula's house was fully monitored.

When I opened my eyes again, I knew it was late because almost no light was in the room. I blinked at the clock and found it was just after noon. I padded into the bathroom and did my business and then headed for the kitchen. Ranger was slumped on the sofa tiredly.

"Have you been to sleep at all," I asked.

"No," he shook his head and reached for my hand and pulled me down on his lap.

"Ranger…"

"I was looking for whoever is trying to kill you Babe," he said tiredly.

"I know, but you're no good to me if you're too exhausted to react."

He nodded, "I'll be fine. I'm used to going without sleep."

I sighed, "What did you learn?"

"We think it's a woman," he said seriously.

I blinked at him, "are you serious?"

"Yea," he nodded. "From the surveillance footage it's a woman even though the unsub has major night camo on, it's clearly shaped like a female."

"You mean the unsub has boobs," I raised a brow.

"The unsub has boobs," he agreed.

"You're sure they're not moobs," I asked.

"I'm sure," he said with a tired chuckle.

"Once again…it's more likely to be someone who wants you than someone who wants me."

"Maybe, but we're seeing Terri today before we go see the house, so keep an open mind."

"I have an open mind," I assured him. "But Terri's a mother now. She's not going to risk her future freedom for revenge. She'll protect her daughter from being raised without her. She loves Joe, but she sees him for who he is. He wanted marriage and kids and all that, but she knows he's not fully prepared for it. She won't do anything to jeopardize her child's life. She's a lot saner than you think she is."

"You're probably right, or you'd have a tingle about her."

"Right…this is tied to you," I said seriously.

He sighed, "I'm starting to see your point of view. I just don't know how to go about searching for a woman who would be that insane."

"Well, at least you're in the right place. It's someone local."

"How do you know," he frowned.

"I just know," I said quietly.

"Have you got a tingle?"

"Not much of one. I just know."

He sighed, "all right. Maybe Mitch is right and we should get you tested."

"Right," I rolled my eyes.

"If you change your mind, let me know."

"Right," I agreed. "How long has it been raining?"

"Since about six this morning," he admitted. "At least we'll see the house at a time when we can find out if the basement is secure."

"Good point. Go take a shower and I'll make us something to eat and then we'll go see Terri and then check out the house."

"Okay," he nodded pushing me off his lap. He kissed my head and went toward the bathroom. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean…someone's trying to kill you Babe."

"I want to live my life."

He nodded and disappeared.

I made a light lunch of pasta primavera and a salad and finished just as he exited from the bathroom clean and dressed.

"Hmmm…you smell good," I sighed as he sat down to eat.

He grinned at me, "thank you. I feel much better now."

"I'm glad," I said reaching for my fork. "What approach are you taking with Terri?"

"I'm going to ask for her alibi."

"Ranger, she didn't do it."

"How do you know? You can't just assume that because she's a mother she won't try to kill you."

"Because if Joe was at his daughter's pediatrician when the bomb on my car was set, so was Terri."

He blinked and groaned. "Shit!"

"I know. I'm not sure we should put her through this."

"Maybe we should put her through this for another reason."

"Like what," I frowned.

"She's bound to have heard all of the smack Joe's been talking. What if we go there in the cover of getting her alibi and just reassure her that Joe's out of your life…forever."

"Oh," I blinked at him.

"He is out of your life forever, right?"

I frowned and started to say something and stopped. If he still needed reassurance that I was over Joe, then he was an idiot and he doubted me. If he doubted me, this situation was worse than I suspected. If he doubted me, we couldn't survive even if he wanted us to.

"Babe," he said softly.

"It's not a good idea for me to answer this question," I got up and headed for the bathroom. "I'll get ready to go."

"Your lunch," he called.

"Not hungry," I replied.

I gazed silently out the passenger window as we made our way to Terri and Joe's house. The house was the one I'd lived in and slept in when Joe and I were together. They'd painted it since and it was now a cheerful yellow with white trim. The garage had been rebuilt and the yard was pristine. It was the perfect burg house and even on that rainy March Sunday, it was bright and cheerful and clearly a home for a family. I sighed.

"If you don't want to do this," Ranger said softly.

"I'll do it," I said getting out of the car and running for the front door.

Terri opened the door cautiously. "Stephanie," she nodded.

"Terri," I attempted a smile. "Your curb appeal is about a million times better than the last time I saw the house."

"Thanks," she smiled and it went to her eyes. "Come on in. Hello Ranger."

"Hello Terri," he nodded.

"Oh wow," I blinked. "I love what you've done with the living room. It's so cozy."

"Isn't it," she beamed.

"This looks like a home now and not early bachelor…or late bachelor. It's hard to believe it's the same place."

"Do you want a tour? We can look in on Isabella too. She's sleeping, but if we're quiet you can see her."

"I'd love to," I smiled at her. I followed her from room to room complimenting her on the changes she'd made. The house was beautiful now. And Isabella was also beautiful. "Oh Terri, she's beautiful," I sighed. "She has your nose, thank God."

She giggled, "I know."

Ranger leaned over the crib, "she is beautiful," he reached down to touch the downy curls on her head lightly.

"Are you guys thinking about having kids," she beamed.

Ranger straightened, "yea, we're talking about it."

I fought the surprise for a moment before I figured that was just another way he was giving Terri peace.

"Come on, let's not wake the little angel." We followed Terri down stairs and she gave us coffee. "All right," she sat in the wing back chair and reached for a sheet of paper. "This paper has my movements over the time in question."

"You've been with a cop too long," I grinned at her.

She laughed.

"Thank you," Ranger said with a smile. "I'll be honest. We've sort of eliminated you as a suspect this morning. Stephanie says that if Joe was at the pediatrician, you were there too."

She grinned, "You're right Stephanie. When you have a baby, you'll find out that you just want to be with them all the time."

"I believe it. One of our Rangeman guys is having his first baby in a couple of months and I'm so excited. It's not even my baby," I grinned.

"I thought you didn't want kids. Joe made it sound like you weren't interested at all. Then you bought a house and now you're married and talking about kids."

I made a face, "I'll be honest with you Terri…I think I just didn't want those things with Joe."

She smiled happily, "I see what you mean."

"I didn't want to just break off the appointment without reassuring you," I told her. "But since we're here…do you have any ideas Terri? Ranger's got me locked up in my tower. I know you don't get out of the house much with that beautiful baby up there, but do you have any ideas?"

"No, but I heard it was a woman," she said softly. "My cousin Ricky said that one of his snitches told him he saw a girl near your car that day."

"Really," I sat up straighter.

"Who'd you piss off Stephanie?"

"I have no idea," I sighed. "You know me…I'm a shit magnet."

She grinned, "Maybe married life will change that."

"One can hope," Ranger nodded, "one can hope."

"That went well," I said with a sigh as I watched the passing scenery.

"Yea it did," he agreed. "I think she's totally got her mind at ease about you and Joe."

"Good," I said quietly.

"Babe…I didn't think… I mean I never thought you'd go back to him."

"Then why did you suggest it?"

"Because," he groaned. "I just wasn't sure if you missed him."

I laughed, "You're ridiculous."

"I am," he grinned.

"You are," I shook my head.

"Okay, the subject is closed forever."

"It better be," I said turning to face him.

He glanced over at me as we waited for the red light. "I promise you, it's forever closed."

"Good," I nodded.

"Come on, you barely ate anything. Let's grab something to eat."

"You're letting me stay out of the ivory tower?"

"Long enough to eat and look at a house," he nodded.

"McDonalds," I raised a brow hopefully.

"McDonalds it is," he agreed.

He was really sucking up. He didn't even say that McDonald's would kill me.

He went through the McDonald's drive-through and ordered me my usual and him a cup of coffee and headed toward the house. "Hmmm…Babe," he sighed.

"Yea," I said munching on my fries.

"I talked to Reid this morning and he doesn't think we're going to be happy with the house. He thinks it has too much structural damage."

I sighed, "He does?"

"Yea, he says there are crumbling walls and… I know you don't want to hear this now, but it may not be the right house for us."

"I understand," I sighed.

"I just want you to be prepared."

"I understand."

"And when I was talking to the guy at Brindal the other day, he said their CEO retired and is selling his estate and moving to Montana to some house he had built out there."

"Montana," I blinked at him. "What's in Montana?"

"Silence apparently," he shrugged.

"Huhn," I bit into my Big Mac.

"So how do you feel about Spanish style houses," he asked.

I laughed, "There aren't any in Trenton." I frowned, "except that big one by the river. It's… Oh my God, is that his house?"

"Yea," he nodded.

"That house is huge," I blinked.

"Yea it's over eighteen thousand square feet. It has an indoor pool, a bowling alley, a home theater… It's pretty big."

"That's a lot of house for us and a puppy."

"And a fish and a kitten," he reminded me.

"Right," I said in bemusement.

"What do you think?"

"We can see it," I shrugged.

"Okay," he opened his phone and punched in some numbers, "Reid…yea, she wants to see it…today?" He glanced over at me and I nodded. "Today is good… Thanks man." He closed the phone. "We'll see it after we see this one."

"Okay," I nodded.

I knew the moment we pulled in the driveway of the Victorian that it wasn't going to work. It was even more overgrown than the video showed. There were broken windows and that meant that the floors and probably the sub-floors were all ruined as well. Reid was waiting for us on the leaking porch and he wasn't smiling.

"Is it bad," Ranger asked after we made it to the porch.

"I'm not sure I want to take you in there man. It stinks and I'm not sure it's safe."

I glanced through the broken window and stepped back in alarm. "There are animals in there."

Ranger shook his head. "Babe…"

"Let's go see the Spanish house," I sighed.

"Sorry Babe," he said hugging me lightly.

"At least you let me have a Big Mac first," I sighed.

He laughed and we hurried back to the SUV.

When we stopped behind Reid's car at the massive Iron Gate a few minutes later Ranger nodded his approval. "It's already wired for video, audio and alarms. There's a guard house and I don't even see the house yet."

"That's good," I blinked.

"That's good," he agreed. "The perimeter fence is top of the line for ten years ago, but it won't take much to upgrade. You'd have a new prettier ivory tower Babe."

"Oh how nice,' I rolled my eyes.

We drove up the meandering brick driveway for a while before the house came into view. There was a huge garage that had five bay doors. It had a porta cochere, which had always been a big dream of mine. There were beautiful trees and clearly marked flower gardens and walking paths. There were fountains and rock designs. It was amazing.

"Er…how many square feet did you say it was?"

"Over eighteen thousand," he said parking under the porta cochere.

"Oh," I blinked.

Ranger got out of the SUV and walked around and opened my door, "are you coming Babe?"

"Er…yea," I blinked.

We climbed some stairs and found ourselves staring at massive oak and glass doors. Reid rang the bell and a man who was obviously a butler let us in.

"Mr. Manoso," he bowed. "I am happy to see you again."

"Thank you Herbert. This is my wife Stephanie and our Realtor Reid."

"Of course, Mr. Reid is already familiar with the house. I'll leave this to you sir," he bowed to Reid and disappeared.

"Do we need a butler," I blinked at Ranger.

"I doubt it," he said with a slight smile.

The first floor had a library, parlor, grand room, kitchen with a huge pantry, family room, dining room, breakfast nook, office and two half baths and one three quarter bath with double sinks.

The second floor had a master bedroom that was about the size of the apartment on the seventh floor at Haywood as well as six more bedrooms with walk-in closets and four bathrooms as well as a playroom or study area for children and a laundry room bigger than the one I'd shared with all the tenants at my old apartment.

The basement had a pool, a two lane bowling alley, a theater, a rec room, a conservatory, the mechanical room, a kitchen, an exercise room and one and a half baths.

The friggin house was massive. And it had a huge concrete patio as well as a deck over-looking a sprawling lawn with a meandering path down to the dock where the yacht was anchored under its own cover. The perimeter of the backyard was also fenced and monitored.

Ranger nodded in satisfaction when he saw the dog run and the tennis courts and play ground already in place.

"This house is huge," I blinked.

"Yes, there's plenty of room to grow here," he nodded.

"It's lovely," I admitted.

"Your nieces would love the play ground and the indoor pool."

"They would," I agreed.

"So would your Dad," he smiled.

"Yea, he would," I agreed.

"What do you think Stephanie?"

"It's a lot of house," I sighed.

"I know. But I'm running a massive Security Empire now and I am…we are going to have to host parties and things in the future."

I nodded.

"Do you hate the house?"

"Of course not," I shook my head.

"Do you like anything about it?"

"It reminds me of you," I said softly. "It's beautiful and Latin and…rich…"

He shook his head and smiled, "you could live here?"

"It's a lot of house," I said again.

"Babe…"

"I could live here."

"Would you be satisfied?"

I nodded.

He turned to Reid. "Make the offer with the terms previous stated."

Reid nodded. "Good luck Mr. and Mrs. Manoso."

"Thank you Reid," Ranger said taking my hand.

"Yes, thank you Reid," I said in bemusement.

"You're welcome."

We drove and Ranger chatted about the house and how that kitchen would be a lot of fun to cook in and how all the stuff we'd registered for would fit. He talked about how much furniture we were going to have to buy and how we'd be using the intercom system a lot because we couldn't just yell for each other in the house.

I was pretty quiet. The house was more than I could handle on my own. What would happen to me when and if he decided that he didn't want to be married to me and it was time to pursue that divorce?

Ranger didn't seem to notice that I was quiet. In a way, that house said he made it. "You know, if we bought the other house we could rip it down and build our new offices there. The other one is getting too tight and there's plenty of space to build here. Tank and I had blueprints drawn up already, it wouldn't take much to get this project going."

"What about zoning," I asked.

"Good question," he nodded. "I'll make the call."

He was buying me a house that was worth millions of dollars. I mean, he didn't tell me how much the house was worth; just that he was putting in the offer. I'd find out soon enough.

I suppose I'd find out everything soon enough.


	19. Chapter 19 Truth About the Bat Cave

I don't own what Janet does. I only own what I do. Her things and my things play nicely togther. I make nothing from their playing.

I'm in Miami this week for a few days. So far I haven't seen Ranger, Stephanie or anyone else familiar. I'll keep my eyes open.

* * *

As we were driving Ranger finally realized that I was quiet. "You don't like the house? If you don't like the house I won't make the offer."

"The house is fine," I assured him.

"Then what is it," he asked reaching for my hand.

"Nothing…"

"Why don't we go out to dinner to celebrate," he suggested.

"Sure," I nodded. Frankly, I was just glad to be out of my ivory tower.

He called Rossini's and got us in right away. I wasn't even surprised. When we arrived a short time later, they seated us immediately.

"Babe," he said after we ordered and wine steward had left us a nice merlot to sip on.

"Yes," I said softly.

"What's wrong," he asked.

"When you…when we get the divorce," I swallowed back the pain, "the house is too big for me."

He was quiet for a few moments. "You don't think you'd want to stay there?"

"It's too big for just me," I sighed and gazed down at the table cloth and the patterns my finger was tracing on the tablecloth.

He sighed and leaned forward, "I have a confession to make Babe."

I hoped…I really did that it was about to be IT. He was about to confess that he loved me and wanted to be with me forever. I am forever doomed to disappointment.

"There is no Bat Cave," he admitted.

"What," I blinked at him.

"There's no Bat Cave. There's never been a Bat Cave. This house can be the Bat Cave."

"Oh," I blinked. "So…will you help me find another house you know…when…"

He sighed, "Yes. If that's what you want, that's what I'll do."

It wasn't what I wanted. He knew what I wanted and he wasn't offering me that.

I let my eye wander around the restaurant for a few minutes until they fell on Gabe and Padma on the other side of the room. They were sitting in a booth against the wall and Gabe had his hand on Padma's barely bulging belly and they were talking softly with each other and smiling in complete happiness. When you looked at the two of them, there was no doubt in your mind that they were married and happy that they were. They didn't have divorce hanging over their heads. I doubt the word was even in their vocabulary. I sighed wistfully.

Ranger cleared his throat, "she's showing nicely."

I nodded, "she's glowing. She's a beautiful pregnant woman."

"I didn't think Isabella was particularly monkey like," he said softly.

I laughed and turned to him, "no, she wasn't."

"She was pretty damn near perfect," he said with a slight smile.

"Yes, she was," I agreed and reached for my ringing phone. "Hey Val," I smiled.

"Hey little sister," she said happily. "I need a favor."

"Sure…anything for you," I agreed.

"I need you to watch Lisa for me."

"Sure…when," I asked.

"A couple of days," she said. She rushed on when her words were met with silence. "Albert, Angie, Mary Alice and I have a chance to go to New York for a couple of days and it would be too hard with the baby. We'll be back on Saturday."

"When are you leaving," I asked.

"Tonight," she sighed. "Albert's mother was supposed to watch her but her sister fell and broke her hip and she has to go to Miami to take care of her. I know you've got a lot going on, but I'd really appreciate it and Mom and Dad are leaving for Boca tomorrow to look at condos. I'll bring her to you on our way to the airport with all of her stuff."

"Oh," I bit my lip. "Hold on." I turned to Ranger with a look of pure terror on my face.

"What is it," he asked.

"Val needs us to babysit for Lisa."

"Okay," he shrugged, "when?"

"They'll bring her to us tonight and they'll be back on Saturday," I whispered.

He studied my face for a few minutes, "tell her we'll do it. Ella will be around."

I sighed in relief. He was right, Ella would be around.

"Oh crap," Val said in my ear.

"What's wrong," I frowned.

"Albert says her stuff won't fit in the van with our luggage."

"Er…we'll come by and get her," I said.

"Are you sure," she said in relief.

"Yea," I nodded. "When do you need us to pick her up?"

"Now," she pleaded.

I glanced at Ranger.

He raised his hand and beckoned the waiter over, "check please. We've had a family emergency."

"Yes sir, Mr. Manoso," he nodded and hurried off.

Twenty minutes later Ranger and Albert were securing the car seat and the back of the SUV and it was filled with the things that were necessary to take care of one little baby for six days. It was a lot.

Val secured Lisa into the car seat and made sure we both understood how to make sure she was fully in it. She kissed her youngest daughter and straightened and met my terrified gaze. "Don't worry Stephanie. You'll do fine. It's good practice for you and Ricardo."

"Er…yea," I blinked. Val called him Ricardo? Did everyone in my friggin family call him Ricardo but me? Oh man, that sucked big time!

She hugged me, "thank you. I really appreciate it." She hugged Ranger, "you've saved us."

"What is family for Val?"

"Thank you Ricardo. Thank you, Stephanie. Be good for Aunt Stephanie and Uncle Ricardo Lisa," she smiled and hurried into the house.

We stood in their driveway for a few minutes.

"We should get home," Ranger swallowed.

"Yea," I nodded. I walked over to the passenger's side and got inside. Lisa was chewing on a teething ring and took it out of her mouth to grin at us as we gazed into the backseat.

"Here we go," Ranger whispered.

"Here we go," I swallowed. I had a feeling neither one of us was talking about the twenty minute drive we were facing. I know I wasn't.

When we got to the Rangeman garage, men poured out to help us unload and carry everything inside as Ranger had instructed. I picked Lisa up and carried her to the elevator leaving the men to do their work and headed straight for Ella's apartment to make sure that she'd give us advice when needed.

Ella oohed and aahed over the baby and made it look so easy as she bounced her on her knee. I stopped on four to introduce her to all the guys living in house and then headed up to seven feeling a little more confident since she was still cheerful.

When I walked through the door with the baby I was stunned at the transformation. Ranger's office was now a nursery and his desk and chair were in a small area that had been empty in the living room. The bed was set up and the changing table was set up. All the baby's belongings were put away in the changing table. The kitchen counter was littered with formula, bottles, bowls, spoons, cereal and baby foods. Her schedule was attached to the fridge as well as our medical power of attorney for 'just in case'.

The guys gathered around the baby and chatted with her and flirted. I swear they don't care how old the girl is as long as she's a girl and she's flirting back. Eventually they left us alone and we were there with just that little girl.

"The schedule says she needs a bath and then a nighttime bottle and we rock her to sleep."

"We don't have a rocking chair," I said wide-eyed.

"If you'll give her a bath, I'll go get a rocking chair," he said soothingly.

I swallowed and nodded.

I thought she'd be hard to bathe, but it was really easy. I did it in the kitchen sink and when I was done, I was probably wetter than she was, but she didn't fight me and that was good. The only thing that bothered me was that she was getting a little warm and I'd say a little listless. I'd been injured or sick enough in my life to realize that she wasn't feeling well. I called Ella and asked her how to check her temperature since I was pretty sure this was a butt thing and she said that these days all you had to do was roll something over their heads. I took the baby to the new nursery and found what Ella described and ran it over her little head and gasped.

I picked up the phone and called Ranger, "she's sick," I said the moment he answered.

"Babe," he said doubtfully. "I just got home and I'm on my way up. She's probably just tired."

"She has a fever of 103," I whispered.

"Bring her down to the car," he said quickly.

I wrapped her in a blanket and hurried down to the parking garage and put her into the car seat. She started whimpering and I got into the back seat with her and she calmed.

Ranger drove fast to the hospital. I'm not saying that he broke any laws. I couldn't see the red lights he was running from the backseat. But I had a feeling.

He screeched to a halt in front of the emergency room doors and I jumped out and grabbed Lisa out of the car seat and ran into the ER with the medical power of attorney clutched in my hand.

Dr Funny Bone saw me the moment I came running inside and approached us at the check in desk. "You two certainly work fast," he said putting his hand on Lisa's cheek. What's her fever?"

"It's 103.5," I bit my lip. "She's not our daughter, she's my niece." I handed him the power of attorney.

"Come on," he said leading me back to a bed.

I lay Lisa on the bed and he checked her temperature and looked in her ears.

"Well, that didn't take long to find," he said as he soothed Lisa with his long fingers. "She has an ear infection."

"Poor baby," I groaned. I'd had one as an adult and it about incapacitated me.

"We'll give her some drops now and I'll give you a couple of prescriptions to fill. Do you have some baby pain reliever?"

"I don't know," I whispered. "Her mother packed a bag for me. I think so."

"I'll give you a list of things to get. You'll be fine. Hello Mr. Manoso, she's going to be fine."

"She has an ear infection," I said gathering the baby to me.

"Oh," he winced. "I had one in the jungle. That hurts."

"I know," I said tearfully.

"You handled it just right. You took her temp and we brought her here. We did good Steph," he said seriously.

Dr. Funny Bone put some drops in Lisa's ear and gave her a shot and she cried. Then he gave her some baby pain reliever and gave us the prescriptions and the lists. "I've called it into the pharmacy I called your things in to. Is that all right?"

"Perfect," Ranger nodded.

We hit the drive thru at the pharmacy on the way to Haywood and when we dragged upstairs two hours after our first arrival with Lisa we were feeling a little more confident in our ability to care for her and a little more exhausted from our ordeal. Quite a few people stopped us to find out what happened and eventually we headed upstairs to try to put her down to sleep. She was lying against me listlessly.

I made her a bottle of juice because Dr. Funny Bone suggested we not give her any more formula tonight. Then I changed her diaper and settled into the rocking chair with her to rock her. Eventually she whimpered her way to sleep, but when I started to put her down, she cried. So I had to keep holding her.

"Babe," Ranger said softly as I held her against me in the rocking chair.

I raised a brow.

"Let me take her for a while," he said. "You have broken ribs. The pressure must be enormous."

"I'd like to say that you're wrong, but you're not," I said tiredly.

He padded over and took Lisa from me and she whimpered for just a second before settling against his tee shirt clad chest. "We're fine Babe. Go take your pill."

"I can't. I can't be incapacitated," I sighed.

"Babe, I've got this," he assured me. "Go on."

I sighed and went to the bathroom and changed into my pajamas and took half a pill.

"Did you take it," he asked when I returned to the living room.

"Half," I nodded.

He smiled, "okay."

"Do you think we'd roll on her if we took her to bed with us," I bit my lip.

"We could surround her with pillows," he suggested.

"Okay," I nodded.

We went to bed and settled her between us surrounded by pillows and she closed her eyes and slid back into sleep.

"She's good," Ranger sighed. "She needs more medicine in a couple of hours. I'll set the alarm. You just sleep." He set the time in his watch.

I nodded tiredly and leaned over to watch her sleeping peacefully for a few minutes.

"We did fine," he assured me. "She's all right. We didn't give her the ear infection. We just made it better."

I sighed, "I know. She's just our responsibility right now and she's so helpless."

"I know."

"Maybe we should start with fish," I sighed flopping to my back.

He rose up on his hands and leaned over the baby and kissed me softly, "I don't know. I think we'd be fine with kittens first now."

I smiled slightly and closed my eyes.


	20. Chapter 20 Babysitting & Sighs

I make nothing from what Janet created.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning Lisa was lying on Ranger's chest snuggled down with her butt in the air and her little arms hanging down on either side of his chest. Ranger had one hand on her diaper clad butt and was sleeping pretty peacefully. I mean, he seemed to be sleeping pretty peacefully.

I rolled to my side and just stared at the man I loved and the tiny blond child on his chest. It looked so natural. He was such a natural at parenting. I couldn't imagine why he wouldn't want to do it again.

A smile tilted the corner of his lips. "I know what you're thinking."

"Do you," I whispered.

"You're thinking that I'm a sucker for blonds," he smiled without even opening his eyes.

"You are. You're a sucker for women," I said reaching over to brush curls off Lisa's head. She was much, much cooler. "I think her fever is gone."

"Yea," he smiled over at me. "Am I?"

"Well, they're certainly suckers for you," I smiled.

He closed his eyes and relaxed again.

"How long has she been up there?"

"Since about four," he admitted. "She didn't feel good and needed contact."

I could understand that. Contact with Ranger was always a good thing in my book. "You're good at this," I sighed.

"Yea, it feels pretty natural," he admitted. "It's easier than I thought it would be."

I sighed, "Are you okay? Do you need me to take her?"

"I'm good. Why don't you go ahead and get up and shower and Lisa and I will wait here patiently."

I grinned, "I'll hurry."

He winked at me as I hurried to the bathroom.

I did my business and showered and dressed quickly using only a quick streak of Chapstick across my lips before hurrying into the bedroom. They weren't there. I headed for the living room and found him feeding her cereal as she sat in the high chair.

"She got hungry," he shrugged. "She's had her meds and she's finishing this and she can have some more juice. Can you finish…I have to…"

"Got it," I nodded. I sank down in the chair he vacated and picked up the spoon. "Lisa…you scared Aunt Stephanie and Uncle Ricardo," I smiled feeding her a spoon full of cereal.

She took the bite and then giggled flapping the tray with her little fat hands in glee.

"Oh you think that's funny do you," I grinned and tickled her before giving her another bite.

She grinned at me showing two teeth on the bottom and two teeth on the top.

"Look at you with teeth now. I bet you like bananas," I said reaching for a banana in the fruit bowl. I peeled it and gave her a chunk of it. She gnawed it and I puttered about the kitchen making breakfast for Ranger and me.

"Well, that's a happy but very messy baby," Ranger said with a smile when he returned from the bathroom.

"And breakfast is ready," I smiled pouring us some coffee.

"Ah," he sank into his chair. "I have meetings today."

"I know."

"I have to do it. I can't reschedule."

"I know," I nodded.

"Are you going to be okay up here alone?"

"I won't be alone. Lisa will be here to protect me," I grinned at the gurgling baby who was expressing herself quite clearly. "Right…you tell him Lisa," I grinned.

He shook his head and reached for his cup, "what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to be entertained by the baby most of the day, but when she's napping…"

"You should nap," he said seriously.

"Ranger…"

"Babe…you've been through a lot. You've almost been blown up twice and shot at once. You need to rest."

I sighed. I did need my rest. But he completely missed the biggest obstacle to my wellness. I needed my husband to want to stay with me forever. "I hear you. I'll consider it when the time comes."

"That's all I'm asking," he said and leaned over to kiss my forehead.

After he left Lisa and I played a while, then I put her down on a blanket with some toys and got my trusty yellow legal pad and started making notes and a time-line. When I finished, I knew Cal was right. My marriage was definitely the catalyst to the insanity that was going on around me. I moved down on the floor with Lisa, "Lisa…I think someone is upset that Uncle Ric and I got married." I dropped gently to my stomach and gazed at her. "It's the only thing that makes sense. Also, they're trying to murder Aunt Steph and not Uncle Ric, so that means it's probably someone that wanted Uncle Ric to call their own." I bit my bottom lip thoughtfully. "That could be either a guy or a girl, because well…you've seen Uncle Ric."

Lisa giggled and bounced up and down.

"Exactly," I smiled. "But for the purposes of this conversation, and because you're too young to learn about alternate life styles, we're going to assume that whoever is doing this to me is a woman who has been scorned either actually or in her delusional head."

She giggled again.

"You really think they're just delusional and not some chick from Chile," I asked her.

She giggled again.

"Babe," Ranger said dropping beside me.

"Jesus," I jumped in fright. "Can you just friggin wear bells on your shoes or something?"

He grinned, "Lisa, don't listen to Aunt Steph. Uncle Ric didn't dump anyone. I don't have women dropping at my every move like your Aunt Stephanie thinks."

I harrumphed.

He rolled his eyes, "and I'm not going to wear bells on my shoes…ever."

She giggled and bounced again and stuck her fist into her mouth.

"But, she is right about one thing. Our marriage is the catalyst and it's probably a woman who wanted me."

"Duh," I rolled my eyes. I rolled to my back and stared at the ceiling frowning. "You think Jeanne Ellen is out?"

"Yep," he nodded and wiggled the toy into Lisa's tummy and they both laughed.

"And the chick from Chile…"

"Doesn't exist," he rolled his eyes at Lisa and blew raspberries into her belly while she squealed with glee and grabbed his hair with both hands.

"The chick from Chile who calls you Carlos when you call from 'in the wind'," I raised a brow.

"A cover…nobody," he blew into her belly again and again they went into gales of laughter.

"And what about the women you've had in the meantime…you know, the one's you don't name," I shook my head.

"I don't know their names and they don't know mine. That was the deal."

"One of them could have been a psycho," I said seriously.

Ranger rolled to his back taking Lisa and raised her in the air over his head making her an airplane as she giggled. "Maybe…but I think it's someone on the perimeter of my life that I've never sleep with. Besides…it's been a while since I slept around."

"Really…how long is a while? Since we got married," I shook my head again.

"Nope," he shook his head, "a while."

"More or less than I did," I asked.

He looked over at me laying Lisa on his chest, "why do you want to know?"

"For no reason that's healthy," I sighed and gazed at the ceiling.

He reached over and pushed a curl off my forehead, "a lot less than you did."

"How much is a lot," I turned to blink at him.

"A lot," he smiled and got up taking Lisa with him. "Come on Lisa. Ella will be here with lunch in a few minutes and she's got something special for you."

When Ella rolled the trolley in a few moments later Ranger was putting Lisa in the high chair and I was grabbing a couple of bottles of water for us and a small bottle of juice for Lisa. Ella brought homemade chicken soup with some of it pureed to just the right consistency for the baby along with some soft cooked vegetables to get her hands on.

"She is such a little doll," Ella sighed smoothing her curls as Lisa beamed up at her with carrots in her hands. "Soon you'll have your own little ones to play with. They'll be even more beautiful that this one."

I smiled, "they would be, but Ranger says we have to…"

"Shush," he groaned.

I just grinned at him. His plan wasn't making him appear all that manly.

"Oh I heard about the plan," Ella grinned at me. "Fish, kitten and then a puppy long before babies," she kissed my forehead. "We'll see how long that lasts." She hurried out of the apartment to carry on with her duties.

I raised a brow at Ranger.

"It sounded good at the time," he defended.

"Right," I nodded and smiled over at Lisa. "Okay…who's in your perimeter?"

"Connie and Lula," he said thoughtfully. "But seriously…no way," he shook his head.

"No way," I agreed with a grin.

"All the women from Sizzlin," he frowned.

"Well, now that Gina doesn't work there anymore, I don't know of anyone there that is that insane. Besides, most of the women are hooked up with our guys."

He sighed, "your mother, grandmother and sister…oh and Mary Lou."

I giggled, "Okay…Grandma is a maybe. But she's pretty happy with Burt."

He laughed, "Yea, well…I don't think it's any of them anyway."

"Me either," I agreed.

"I can't think of anyone else."

"Then it's someone we see, but don't see. You know, like a waitress or the secretary of a client or something like that."

"But why," he frowned and reached over to give Lisa a spoonful of the soup puree.

"Because you're hot doofus," I rolled my eyes.

"It makes me feel so sexy when you say it like that," he rolled his eyes and made a face at Lisa. She giggled and opened her mouth for another bite.

I got up to get more water, "actually Ranger…right now, you're like top of the line sexy. I didn't even know a man could be as sexy as you are right now," I said honestly. I returned with two bottles.

"Oh yea," he said softly with a glint of that recognizable fire in his gaze.

"Yea," I swallowed.

"You know…I finished my meeting."

"Er…Lisa," I swallowed again.

"Will nap after lunch," he said.

"Between us," I raised a brow.

"She'll be in her bed."

"Er…"

"But…if you're not interested…" He leaned over and sucked lightly at the place where my neck and shoulder meet.

I moaned. I wasn't supposed to give in this easy. There was no friggin sugar in the house and God he was sexy.

He sat up, "keep my place till nap time."

I swallowed again, "right…right…"

But nap time didn't happen. At least it didn't happen for Ranger. Lisa and I had a good nap. Ranger was off doing what Ranger does. I suspect he's saving the world. It's my opinion that there's a secret code somewhere in the com that signals for him when the villains are almost ready to take over the world…or at least some part of Trenton and then he has to run off and stop it. Well, that was my fantasy as I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up with a warm baby snuggled against me playing with my curls.

I opened my eyes with a sigh. "Hey you, how did you get out of the crib? Are you part monkey?" I grabbed her foot and scattered kisses over it while she giggled with joy. "No," I grinned at her wide-eyed. "Did you fly in here on your angel wings?"

She giggled more as my kisses moved to her fat little belly.

"Or," Ranger said softly snuggling against my back, "she could have gotten some assistance from Uncle Ric."

"Hmm…you've got him wrapped around your little finger," I teased and nibbled on her fingers as she squealed.

"Did you save the world," I turned my head as much as I could to ask him.

"Yep," he agreed rubbing Lisa's belly.

"Did you figure out who's trying to kill your wife?"

"Nope," he sighed. "But just for the record, my wife is the murder solver."

"If your wife is murdered, she won't be of much help."

"You won't be murdered," he said and he pulled me tight against him and buried his face in my neck.

"Hey," I frowned, "I'm fine. It was a joke. Really…I'm okay."

"Babe…"

"Shhh," I sighed. "We'll talk about it later."

He sighed in my neck. "You're not leaving me," he said softly and got up and headed for the bathroom.

I lay there for a few minutes thinking and then realized that Lisa was looking worried. Babies can sense fear and hurt. They're smart. I smiled and rolled to my back and put Lisa on my belly. "It's okay Lisa. Sometimes grownups have serious conversations," I smiled up at her. "But don't worry, by the time you're a big girl Uncle Ric will have saved the entire world and you'll be nice and safe."

"Will he," Ranger asked dropping down on the bed beside us.

"You will," I agreed smiling over at him.

"You know Babe…I'm not really Batman."

I gasped in shock and Lisa giggled, "First there's no Bat Cave and now you're not Bat Man. Next you'll be telling me there's no S-a-n-t-a C-l-a-u-s," I whispered.

He laughed and tugged Lisa and I to him, "Well, you've already met him, so I have a feeling it will be okay."

"Yea," I nodded. "I'm pretty sure I will."


	21. Chapter 21 Studioes & Houses

I make nothing. Hopefully she does.

* * *

When we took Lisa home to Val on Saturday neither of us was really ready to let her go. She'd recovered from her ear infection and she was truly a happy baby. She was a joy to have around and the guys made up excuses to come upstairs and play with her. Her favorite time of day was after her morning nap when we went downstairs and stayed in the break room for lunch. We ate lunch and she played with all of her friends. Sometimes I thought they were all about the same age. Gabe was particularly fascinated. Cal was curious, but then Lisa was pretty curious about him too. She especially liked to rub her hands over his head. We were going to miss her. Even if he decided he wanted to keep me and have the life I wanted, it would be a long time between fish, kittens and puppies before we got to babies.

We made a list of our usual restaurants and dives. We checked out Pinos and Shortys and found that neither of them had any employees who fit the bill. Then we checked out all of our clients. They weren't really screaming anything either.

On Monday I headed to the studio to start getting ready for the Talk Show. It would last for a couple of weeks. We'd film it all in one week. Lula had taken care of arranging for the guests. When I arrived with Mitch in tow, Brenda had added another person to her security staff. I was overjoyed to see Joyce Barnhardt. Overjoyed is a stretch. I was pissed.

"What is she doing her," I glared at Lula.

"Honey don't blame me. Brenda done hired her. I tole her that the bitch was nothin but trouble and you and her was like oil and water, but she didn't care. She said with you here and your natural attraction to crazies, we needed all the help we could get."

"Joyce Barnhardt would step to the side and let the axe murderer get me," I reminded her.

"Yea, I tole Brenda that too," she sighed. "She didn't seem too concerned."

"Well, Mitch is my muscle, so keep that demon away from me."

"You got it. You are the talent. We'll keep her away," she stomped off toward Brenda's office. I assume to let her have it.

"So that's the evil Joyce Barnhardt," Mitch grinned. "She kind of looks like Barbie on steroids after a lot of cosmetic surgery."

My lip twitched. She did. "Yea, that's her."

"Do you want me to take her out," he said seriously and flipped the lock on his holster.

I bit my lip to keep from either laughing or screaming yes, I'm not sure which. "That's okay," I managed. "We'll deal with it."

"Well," he locked the gun back down, "let me know if you change your mind."

"Will do," I nodded. Seriously, he was becoming my favorite. If Ranger dumped me I'd be seriously pissed that I'd given him to Carrie. I reached for my ringing phone. "Hello."

"Hey Sweetheart," Brian said cheerfully. "How are you doing? Is my baby brother taking good care of you?"

I smiled, "it's good to hear from you Brian. How is Australia?"

"Australia is gorgeous. You didn't answer any of my questions."

"Your baby brother abandoned me because that washed up has been Brenda wanted him to be her new stylist."

"Whoa," he said in amazement.

"Yea, it's my own fault. He loves misery and she's a misery magnet. I shouldn't have introduced them."

"I guess not. What about the other question?"

"Well, I guess that depends on your view of things. The world thinks I'm deliriously happy. I'm married to Ranger. We're living in the penthouse at Haywood…"

"Why not your house," he asked.

"Someone blew up my house…and my car…oh and they shot at me too."

"Honey," he sighed. "I swear to God. You need a full time keeper."

"You're starting to sound like him," I growled.

"Well, on his one thing we agree."

"Really," I shook my head.

"We agree you should be safe, but you attract the crazies."

"It's because we're in the suck zone," I explained.

"Of course you are," he agreed. "Do you need me to come back? Can I help?"

"I don't think so. You need to finish detox. It's just another one of those things, you know?"

"I know," he paused. "For the record, Ranger and I agree on a lot more than that."

"I know," I sighed.

"Has the dumbass told you that he loves you yet?"

"You mean besides in his own way or with a condom or any of that shit?"

"Right," he winced.

"No, he has not," I said quietly.

"What are you going to do," he sighed.

"I have no freaking idea," I admitted wiping at the escaping tears.

"I know you love him. You must be some kind of glutton for punishment."

"I must be," I whispered.

"I love you. If you change your mind, I'll be there in a heartbeat. If you change your mind about the other thing…I'll be waiting."

"Brian," I whispered over my tears.

"Sorry sweetheart, but you're hard to get over."

"Thank you," I sighed. "You know I love you."

"I know," he said quietly. "I should have whisked you away the moment I got you instead of leaving you there. We'd have a couple of kids by now."

"It's been less than a year," I laughed over my tears.

"I work fast," he chuckled. "Take care, sweetheart." He hung up.

I sighed and closed the phone.

"So, this guy loves you?"

"What," I blinked at Mitch as I dried my tears.

"This FBI guy, he loves you," he asked.

"Brian loves me. He's not FBI anymore though."

"Why are you still here?"

I shrugged, "I love my husband."

He gazed at me thoughtfully. "I'll work on this."

"Mitch," I shook my head.

"We'll figure something out," he smiled and kissed my head. "It will be all right. You'll see."

For hours and hours I went over guest lists and tried on clothes. The clothes were from a local boutique that I had never shopped in because I couldn't afford it. How strange that I'd be wearing their things now. Instead of suits or dresses, I opted for simple slacks and tops. I was being billed as the Bombshell Bounty Hunter not as Martha Stewart. I didn't need to go over the top. Besides, according to the woman who owned the shop, the bling on my left hand was enough to put any outfit over the top.

Afterwards Mitch and I headed out and past a scowling Joyce Barnhardt.

"Joyce…have you seen Dickie," I stopped to ask.

"Dickie?"

"Dickie Orr…you remember him, he was my first husband. The one who you were fucking on my dining room table," I said dryly.

"Your first husband," she raised a brow.

"Yes my first husband," I held up my left hand. "Ricardo Carlos Manoso is my second husband."

"And your last husband," Ranger said walking toward us with a smile and kissing me soundly.

"Of course," I smiled up at him.

"You really married her," Joyce said in amazement. "What were you thinking?"

"Have you seen Dickie," he asked coolly.

"Dickie," she said thoughtfully and tapped her fingernails on the wall, "no, I can't say that I have."

"Okay then," Ranger said and turned to me. "Did you eat lunch?"

"Why, what time is it?"

"Babe…it's after four," he chuckled.

I winced, "I forgot."

He patted my ass, "come on, and let's get some fuel in you. Nice to see you again Joyce," he said blandly as he led me away.

I was pretty sure I heard her growl as we walked.

"She's a real piece of work," Mitch said thoughtfully. "She doesn't stand up much to you though my Intergalactic Princess."

"Somebody talks too much," I sighed. "I'm guessing it's Lester."

Mitch just grinned.

"In any case, you're right," Ranger high-fived his friend. "Joyce is a ghost in Stephanie's shadow."

I felt it then. It was the first tingle. I stopped and turned back to see Joyce was walking away toward the dressing rooms. "Nah," I muttered shaking my head and laughing. "That's just ridiculous."

"What Babe," Ranger asked.

"Nothing," I smiled up at him. "It's nothing."

"Thanks Mitch," Ranger said when we got to the parking lot. "I've got her from here." He waved at Cal on watch on the other side of the parking lot and opened my door.

"Where are we going?"

"To sign the papers for the house," he said seriously.

"We got the house," I blinked at him.

"We got the house," he agreed. "I bought the other property too. Demolition starts soon."

"Okay," I nodded.

"Babe…if you don't want the house…"

"It's not that," I sighed.

"I know," he said softly. "Will, you just trust me on this? Don't you think this house will be a perfect Bat Cave?"

I smiled, "yea, I do."

"Okay then," he kissed my head and started driving.

We signed the papers and took possession of the house. I have to tell you, it was weird. We stopped and got pizza and beer and headed for our house. Yea, how weird is that? Ranger and I just bought a house. For the second time in my life I signed my name Stephanie P. Manoso. Yikes!

We walked into the house and sat down on the hearth and opened the pizza.

"It has nice flow," Ranger said seriously.

"It does," I agreed.

"And the bamboo will look good in here."

"Yea, it will," I agreed.

"Of course we need furniture," he said seriously. "Do you want to hire a decorator?"

I blinked at him.

He winced, "what was I thinking? You want to do it yourself?"

I nodded.

"Okay," he smiled.

"You don't want to help?"

He smiled, "why don't you have fun looking at stuff and then show me a couple of the options and I'll kind of give you my opinion."

"Okay," I nodded biting into some pizza.

"And we can decorate a couple of the guest rooms for when the kids come to visit or we get Lisa again," he suggested, "and maybe we can decorate one room for Julie. Rachel won't argue with her coming up here so much if you're around. She likes you."

"I almost got her daughter killed," I sighed.

"You did the opposite of that," he shook his head. "So...we can do that?"

"Sure," I nodded and bit back the grin. He wanted babies with me. He was that far (mentally I put my thumb and forefinger less than inch apart) from admitting it.

"It's kind of quiet at the apartment with Lisa gone," he sighed.

"Yep," I agreed. "Don't worry; the fish will cheer the place up. Now should we wait till we get moved in to get the fish or should we…" I never finished the sentence. Within moments I was on my back on the Berber carpet and Ranger was kissing me like a crazy man and tugging at my clothes at the same time.

"No fish," he growled in my neck as he divested himself of his pants.

"No rug burn," I groaned as his fingers slipped slowly inside of me.

He settled his shirt under my ass and moments later he was buried inside of me. "No fish," he hissed as he plunged.

"No fish," I gasped wrapping my legs up and around him.

"You and me," he said meeting my eyes. "It's you and me."

I sighed at the possession in his eyes and his body, "that's all it's ever been."

He smiled in satisfaction and gave me my earth shattering orgasm.

I guess sugar is really over rated.


	22. Chapter 22 Shop Till We are Dropped

I don't own what the genius mind of Janet Evanovich created, she does. That includes the main characters and much of the basic idea. I do own some peripheral characters and my own story development. I'm not making squat. She better be.

I posted a link to Ranger and Stephanie's house on my profile if you want to see it.

* * *

Natalie followed me through the dining room furniture one more time. "Stephanie, do you have any idea what you want?"

"I have an idea what I want," I sighed. "I don't have an idea what will work in that house in that space." I stopped and leaned against the wall. "Maybe I should just let him hire the decorator."

"And then you don't end up with your house," she said gently.

"I don't know that I will anyway," I said and waved at Cal and Mitch who were doing their best to look like husbands who were just in the way of the wives shopping spree.

"You're being crazy," she said shaking her head. "Just because this house isn't the Victorian that you were dreaming about since you were a little girl doesn't mean it can't be your home. I mean did you think that Ranger would be your home? I mean when you were a kid, could you have ever imagined anyone like him?"

I smiled, "no. I couldn't have done that.

"So you need to think outside of that original seven year old's ideal. Ranger is your new ideal. Is the house that you bought…him? I mean when you think about Ranger, do you see him fitting into that house?"

I frowned thoughtfully as I thought of the Spanish tile and wood floor mix throughout the large house. "Yes, it's beautiful and original ans Spanish and him."

"Can you see it in the future filled with kids and friends and pets?"

"Yea," I smiled.

"Then you can adjust. You adjusted to Ranger even though he hasn't fully adjusted to you yet. You can adjust to the house. Don't you think so?"

"I think so," I agreed.

Natalie pulled me to a dining room set and sat me down and sat down in front of me and took my hands. "Steph…is there something in this room that you want?"

"Yes," I said miserably.

"What," she asked.

I pointed to a mission style dining room set.

"And what is the house like?"

"Spanish," I said miserably.

"Mission can work in a Spanish house," she said seriously, "but not this mission. Do you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you. That's why you're here," I said seriously.

"Can you come with me?"

"Sure," I agreed. We grabbed Mitch and Cal and headed out. We drove a short distance till we arrived at a large warehouse tucked in the back of one of the mediocre sections of Trenton.

"It doesn't look like much," she said pulling me toward the door. "But wait till you see what's inside." She knocked on the door and an older man opened it.

"Miss Natalie," he beamed showing what was left of three teeth. "Come in. Do you want to see some more furniture?"

"It's so good to see you Gaby. My friend Stephanie just bought a big Spanish house by the river. Her house is completely empty."

He nodded, "come with me." He hobbled off down the dimly lit concrete walkway and paused at a door and flipped a switch. Seconds later light flooded the room and there were shelves stacked with rich old furniture in mahogany, leather, tile and teak.

I gasped.

He smiled at me, "this is what you were looking for?"

I nodded mutely with my mouth agape.

"Find what you want. I'll send Horace to help you."

My ringing phone broke my trance, "yo."

"Where are you? You're GPS says you're not at the mall."

"Furniture," I blinked. "Antique furniture…so pretty," I blinked again.

Mitch took the phone from me with a grin. He closed it seconds later, "you husband is on his way…with the checkbook."

I followed Horace around and pointed at furniture here and there. He made a note on his pad and we'd continue on. Ranger joined us about halfway through and I was already amassing quite a pile of furniture that they'd load on any truck we sent to deliver it. Ranger just gazed in awe.

"How did you find this place," he whispered.

"Natalie knows the guy," Cal grinned. "I think Steph's in love with this furniture."

"I can see why," he nodded. "How much has she got?"

"Dining room, breakfast nook and another table with four chairs," Mitch said glancing at his notes. "She muttered something about game table for the family room. Then she grabbed another couple of bistro like tables for the rec room. Anyway then she's got a bunch of leather couches and chairs and all this mahogany and teak. She's doing bedrooms now. She's got three sets so far."

Ranger nodded and looked up as I gasped.

"That set," I sighed. "Now desks," I said to Horace and followed him off.

Ranger blinked.

"I think that one's yours," Mitch winked and followed me.

When we finished Horace met with Gaby and they ran the numbers and offered me the whole lot at a very large price. I mean it seemed large to me, I gasped. But Ranger just calmly asked if his check would be okay or credit card. They took the check.

"Well," Ranger said as we exited the warehouse. "The furniture is perfect for the house."

"Yea, it doesn't finish the kid's rooms, but that can come later."

"You've had a busy day."

"Not busy enough," I sighed. "That's the furniture. Now we have to have other things like picture frames and art and rugs and…"

He put his hand over my mouth, "we're going back to the mall?"

"We're going back to the mall," I nodded. "It's your fault really, you wanted a big house."

He nodded. "Natalie…Cal, are you deserting me?"

"Are you kidding," Natalie laughed, "this is fun."

Cal grinned, "I go where she goes."

"Okay," he nodded, "Mitch you're free."

"Thanks man," he nodded. "Steph…don't forget the ice shaver," he said as he waved off.

"Ice shaver," Ranger frowned.

"It's to make stuff," I shrugged. "The kids will love it."

"Okay," he nodded.

I smiled to myself. I think I can buy anything I want if he thinks Lisa will like it. This is gonna be good.

He made me stop long enough for us to have dinner. I didn't know why. I was feeling pretty good. Natalie was looking a little tired though.

"What do you want Babe," he asked.

"Just a salad," I said scribbling notes on what else we needed excluding our wedding dishes.

"Babe," he sighed. "You had a salad for lunch. You didn't eat yesterday for lunch and you had one slice of pizza for dinner."

"Whose fault was that," I raised a brow.

He grimaced but didn't look at all guilty. "Mine, but…"

"Order me whatever you like," I said with a smile. "It's up to you."

"Really," he turned back to the menu thoughtfully.

"No tofu," I said as an afterthought.

"Babe," he shook his head.

A few minutes later I was groaning because he'd ordered me stuffed mushrooms as an appetizer. He probably wanted to share them. Well, he was right. I was hungry.

By the time I finished the steak that went with it I was wondering if I was going to be able to do any more shopping. I also wondered if I went to the bathroom would I be able to button my jeans back again. I thought it unlikely.

"Babe," Ranger said. "You're looking a little dazed. Are you sure you don't want to stop for the night?"

"They're delivering the furniture tomorrow. If there are no drapes, what am I going to do about privacy? And what about mattresses and sheets, don't you think those are vital? We need sheets."

"We do need sheets," he sighed.

"We can't do anything without getting sheets."

"All right, I'll concede we need bedding and drapes. But I think some of the things on your list can wait till later, don't you? I mean we may get some wedding presents we didn't put on our list."

I blinked at him. He was right. That could happen. Not everyone liked using the registries to buy gifts. Not everyone knew they existed. Hell, Ranger didn't have a clue before I told him. "You're right."

"I am," he blinked at me in surprise.

"You are," I agreed. "We'll finish up those essentials and then we'll call it a night."

"Okay," he frowned at me suspiciously.

"What," I said as he gazed at me.

"You agreed to that too easily. What's the catch? There's always a catch."

"There's no catch. If you're right, you're right. You are right."

He shook his head and looked over at Cal. "The other shoe will drop."

Cal just grinned, "Maybe not. Sometimes it's okay."

"Sometimes," Ranger shook his head.

We bought sheets and a comforter set. We bought a lot of mattresses and wandered through the draperies and I found nothing that I liked.

"Maybe you need to think about custom drapes," Natalie suggested.

"Maybe," I agreed.

We all walked out of the mall together and we were talking and laughing and carrying armloads of bags. I didn't think anyone would shoot me while I was with Ranger. I didn't. It didn't occur to me that someone would take aim at me while the object of their affection was right there. My bad.

I was on the ground before I even realized I was being shot at. Ranger was heavy on top of me and the bags were flying. I could see Natalie under Cal a few feet away and then abruptly the shooting stopped and there was the sound of squealing tires.

Ranger lifted off of me carefully. "Babe, are you all right?"

"I'm fine," I sighed feeling of my ribs. "I don't even think you did any damage to my ribs."

"I tried not to," he said absently. "Cal, are you guys okay?"

"We're good," Cal nodded.

"Did you see anything?"

"Blue van," he said quietly as the sirens began to wail in the distance. "It needed some work and the paint was peeling off. I didn't get a tag."

"The bitch could have killed you this time," I said pointedly to Ranger.

Ranger's head spun to look at me. "Do you know who it is?"

"I have an idea," I said with a slight growl.

"It was a woman," Cal said. "There was a lot of blond hair."

"Does that fit with your idea," Ranger asked.

"Oh yea," I said as Joe Morelli and Big Dog pulled up to the curb.

"Gentlemen…Ladies," Big Dog raised a brow. "Have you been shooting up the parking lot?"

"No, you moron, we were being shot at," I sighed.

Joe chuckled, "were they shooting at all of you or just you cup…I mean Stephanie?"

"Who knows, the bitch is crazy," I shook my head.

"Did you see who did this?"

"No," I shook my head and rolled my eyes and walked away to gather my bags.

"If she didn't see her, then…"

"Tingle," Ranger said watching me thoughtfully as I picked up our purchases off the sidewalk.

"Oh," Joe shook his head. "You know, I confess, I was jealous that you got her. I was jealous because she's a beautiful sexy woman and she loves sex."

Ranger turned to glare at him.

"Let me finish," Joe said holding his hand up. "But I have to tell you, I sleep a lot better at night knowing that her particular brand of insanity is not part of my day to day life."

"So do I," Ranger said quietly and walked over to take the bags from me. "Why don't you wait in the truck?"

"What about the police? Aren't they going to want a statement?"

"They can get it tomorrow morning."

"Okay," I nodded. "What about bombs?"

"Cal's checking it out," he gestured toward the SUVs.

"Thank you," I beamed up at him.

"You're welcome. Go," he patted my ass. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Okay," I headed for the truck but paused when I heard Joe speak.

"We need her statement."

"You can get it in the morning."

"We like to get it when it's fresh."

"She didn't see anything Joe. I saw something. Cal saw something. Neither Natalie nor Stephanie saw anything. But they'll happily tell you that officially in the morning. Right now they're tired and scared and more than a little bemused."

Joe nodded and I headed on to the truck.

When Ranger joined me a few moments later he looked like I felt, tired and bemused.

"How did it go?"

"Good," he nodded backing out of the parking space.

"You called him Joe. I don't think I've ever heard you call him Joe before."

"I wasn't comfortable calling your boyfriend Joe," he said pulling into traffic.

"Oh," I smiled out the window. He had been jealous of Joe. That was the fact of it. Yep, we were going to live happily ever after whether he liked it or not.

We were pulling into the Rangeman garage before he asked me the question I knew he was dying to. I thought he showed remarkable restraint all things considered. "Who is the tingle for Babe?"

I grinned, "my arch nemesis…Joyce 'the slut' Barnhardt."

He cocked a brow at me in surprise and almost drove into the garage wall before slamming to a stop that almost sent me though the windshield.

"Thank God for seat belts," I said shaking my head. "I thought the air bag was going to deploy."

"Babe, come on," he blinked at me in shock. "I know you don't like her, but…"

"Don't like her," I howled with laughter, "I don't like her? Saying that I don't like Joyce Barnhardt is like saying Tank has a few muscles."

He sighed, "I'm just saying that your opinion is a bit biased and that we're going to have an especially difficult time convincing the police that she's trying to kill you or that she's interested in me as a…"

"Sex buddy," I slapped him on the arm and got out of the truck.

He shuddered and sat there a moment before hurrying out of the truck and catching me as I waited for the elevator. "Babe…"

"Be careful what you say Ranger," I said seriously.

"I'm not saying that you're wrong. I trust your tingle. It's just that I think that there must be some other motive."

I stepped on the elevator, "you think that or you're hoping that?"

He followed me onto the elevator and waved his fob at the panel and pressed the seven. He stared ahead for a few moments.

"Well, which is it?"

"I…I hope," he groaned.

I smiled smugly to myself. The tingle doesn't lie and my mortal enemy Joyce 'the evil manipulative slut bitch' Barnhardt was about to go down. Yep, there's a certain satisfaction in that.


	23. Chapter 23 Ballistic Bimbo

I own nothing that the brilliant mind of Janet Evanovich created. I do borrow it, use it, abuse it, and will eventually return it. My characters are my own. She may do the same. I, however, do not make a thin dime and she makes bazillions.

Thank you to everyone for reading and for the reviews. For those of you who guessed at the culprit, I'm happy the mystery engages you.

* * *

Mitch and I dropped by the police station on the way to the studio the next day. We were scheduled to begin filming the talk show on that day. That was also the day I wanted to find a way to get the ballistic bimbo that was Joyce Barnhardt to confess to trying to kill me for a little bit of Ranger booty. Honestly though, if she thought that getting me out of the way was going to clear a path to his bed, she hasn't been paying attention to the type of women Ranger likes. For one thing...she knows his name. He was such a... Well, we know what he was before.

My statement took about twenty minutes. I just dictated and waited for it to be typed and signed it. I saw nothing. There wasn't much to say.

When we arrived at the studio I was ushered into the dressing room and Christian came in to help me dress while Mitch leafed through magazines on the couch.

"What are you thinking of wearing," Christian asked.

"Who's the guest today?"

He grinned, "It's a surprise."

"If I'm supposed to be the host, should it really be a surprise?"

"Why don't you go with it? I'll give you a hint. You're married to one of your guests."

I laughed, "Ranger is one of my guests today? He didn't say anything."

"He was a last minute addition. He said to tell you that someone who liked to play with your lives would be your first guest."

I shook my head and laughed. "I need a distraction outfit," I grinned.

"A distraction outfit," Christian frowned.

"The kind of outfit that makes men follow me out of a bar," I said with a laugh.

"Honey, you're so talking to the wrong guy," Christian shook his head.

"Mini skirt, tight top with plenty of cleavage and FMPs," Mitch said dryly from the couch never even moving out from behind the magazine he was reading.

"Oh, you want to look like Brenda," he grinned.

"Only…not," I winced.

"Got it," he nodded and left the dressing room.

"Manuel," Mitch said from the sofa.

"Yep," I went behind the screen to remove my jeans and tee shirt.

"This should be interesting," he laughed.

"Yes it should," I agreed.

Christian returned with a flirty little black skirt and a red silk halter top with black four inch sandals. "Well?"

"Perfect," I reached over the screen and pulled them out of his hands. "You did good."

"Thanks," he grinned and dropped down by Mitch. "So…how do you know my Stephanie?"

"I thought she was Ranger's Stephanie," Mitch asked.

"Semantics," he shrugged. "If he doesn't step up to the plate she could be mine."

"Man, I'd have bet a million dollars that Steph wasn't your type," Mitch shook his head.

"Oh eww…no, not like that," Christian shook his head. "I just mean that if he doesn't step up to the pate and admit that he loves her, my brother still has a shot."

"Your brother would be Brian Goodman," Mitch lowered the magazine to study Christian carefully.

"Yep," he nodded.

"He's a good man," Mitch nodded.

"Yes he is," he agreed.

"She could do a lot worse. If Ranger doesn't step up to the plate, first I'll kick his ass and then we'll get your brother in town to pick up the pieces."

"You do know that I can hear you," I said sticking my head over the screen.

"It's not like it's a secret," Mitch shrugged and went back to his magazine.

"I like him," Christian grinned at me. "Is he gay?"

"No," Mitch said from behind his magazine.

"Damn, the good ones are always taken or straight," he muttered and left the dressing room.

"Heart breaker," I grinned at Mitch as I emerged from behind the screen.

He dropped the magazine and let his eyes drift over me, "you should talk."

I laughed, "All right…let's do this thing."

I walked out of the dressing room and heard Joyce's breath catch. I suppose that she thought I'd come on the show looking like the frump I was most of the time when I was chasing skips, but those days were over. These days I had a big rock on my finger and more importantly and thin gold band to go with it. I seldom looked like a frump and I had a lot more confidence. Joyce could eat my dust.

I walked to the stage and walked through my paces with Brenda. She was really very patient with me and she was entirely jealous of my outfit. She said she could never talk Christian into letting her wear something like that. I thought she looked mature and confident and successful and I told her so. She preened for a moment and sent Christian a grateful look and continued to instruct me as to what my job actually was.

I read through the first batch of cue cards and nodded when I was comfortable. Then I left the stage and waited for the studio audience to take their seats. Then the opening music came on and my cue to start the show. I walked out confidently and took my place on the big X on the floor.

"Hi," I grinned at the audience. It was difficult to be heard even with the microphone on over the catcalls, clapping and screaming. "Okay, thank you. Thank you." I laughed, "Please have a seat. You're all too kind. Thank you."

Eventually they calmed down and took a seat. "Thank you everyone for coming today. It's our first show. My name is Stephanie Plum Manoso and most of you know me as the Bombshell Bounty Hunter." There was more screaming, cat calling and clapping with those words. "Thank you," I finally managed. "So, they asked me to do this show and let you know how I got into this mess and how I maintained my success rate when I'm basically not good at it." I laughed and they laughed with me. "The first thing you need to know is that I didn't do it alone. I had a family of people to help me. When we come back from these messages, you'll meet the first person who gave me aid and the first person I'd still call today if I needed help. We'll be right back." I stepped to the front row and shook some hands and signed some autographs while Mitch watched from the sidelines with his arms crossed and his gaze consistently watchful.

Eventually we returned from the break and I was in the chair that was my hostess chair and ready. "Welcome back New Jersey," I smiled. "My first guest is the Henry Higgins to my Eliza Doolittle. He's bailed me out of more jams than anyone will ever know. I'd like you to welcome my mentor, my friend, and my husband Ricardo Carlos Manoso, or Ranger." I stood up clapping as Ranger walked out onto the stage with a smile and a congenial wave at the audience. Seriously, he's hot. I saw women swooning in the audience. I know why. I felt it myself.

Ranger walked to me and hugged me and kissed me and dipped me before setting me to my feet amidst the clapping and whistling. "Babe," he nodded.

I sank to my chair and he sat in his across from me. "So, welcome. I understand you have an agenda?"

He grinned that million watt grin and women in the audience oohed. "Well, I'm here to talk about your beginning."

"Well, go on then," I smiled.

"I got a call from Connie Roselli at Vincent Plum's Bail Bonds office. I had been bringing in high ticket bonds for Vinnie for about five years and she had a friend who was starting work for Vinnie who didn't know anything about the business and needed some advice and some mentoring."

"That would be me," I smiled at the audience.

"I was busy, but Connie had really started my career going in Trenton and I felt like I owed her one so I agreed to do it. We were to meet at the diner and the moment I saw you I knew you were going to be trouble."

"Hey," I pouted.

"Well Babe…you were," he laughed and the audience laughed with me. "Do you remember the first time you really called me for help?"

I groaned, "Yea. I had my first bond and it was a big one. I think they gave it to me because nobody else wanted it and because it was a cop."

"Joe Morelli," he laughed. "Your future ex-boyfriend was the Failure to Appear on a murder charge that he was later cleared of."

"Right," I nodded. "I'd had some good luck at tracking him and he was getting annoyed and I was taking a shower in my own apartment in my own bathroom and he came in and handcuffed me to the shower rod and left me there. I could reach my phone, but barely and I called you."

The audience whistled, laughed and catcalled. Ranger nodded at them and shook his hand in the commonly known ooh-la-la motion. "Yep, she was naked. " He grinned at the audience and they swooned again, "I just opened the handcuffs and left."

"Yea," I nodded sadly. "It was somewhat demoralizing."

"Hopefully I've made up for it since then."

"You have." I smiled, "you've let me borrow cars and kept me in safe houses and tracked my movements with GPS so you'd know if I was safe or not. I suppose, in retrospect, that I should have known that I was important to you sooner than I did."

"You did," he said seriously.

"We're going to take a short break and bring out our second guest."

When we cut to break Ranger leaned toward me to speak in my ear as the music played loudly. "She's watching and she's mad."

"She's going to make a move," I said back.

"We're ready," he nodded and pressed his lips to my neck. In that moment, all hell broke loose. I guess that small gesture from him was the last straw and she took her gun out and opened fire. The audience went insane screaming and running for the exits. Mitch and Cal pulled their weapons and warned her.

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit," I groaned as Ranger threw me behind the chairs and landed on top of me while pulling his gun at the same time.

I heard a couple of pops and then, it was quiet.

"Report," Ranger yelled.

"She's hidden," Mitch called.

I heard a couple more pops, but they sounded like they were coming from where Mitch's voice was.

"Report," Ranger yelled when they stopped.

"Good," Mitch said.

"Ghost," I yelled.

"Done," he called back.

Ranger frowned down at me.

I swallowed, "trust me."

"You're one of the few people I do," he said softly and kissed my forehead. "I'm moving. Stay down, no matter what till I get back for you."

"Ranger…let Mitch…"

"Babe, trust me," he said softly.

I sighed. "I do."

"Bitch," Joyce started screaming. "Bitch…"

"I think she's calling you," Cal shook his head with a slight smile from the side stage.

I looked up at him and shook my head. "What do you want me to do?"

"It would be easier if you could get a full confession. The cops are here."

"Is it legal if she does?"

"There are enough witnesses," he shrugged.

I nodded and sighed. "Joyce…Joyce…Joyce…don't you know that Jabba the Hut was never going to beat Princess Leia. She's a friggin Intergalactic Princess. Jabba the Hut was just a gigantic slug."

"I'm gonna kill you," she screamed. "I should have done it when you walked in on me and Dickie and started wailing on us. I should have done it then."

"Please tell me that you're joking," I sighed.

"No I'm not joking," she screeched. "I should have busted a cap in your curly head then."

"You're the home-wrecker and I'm the one in the wrong? You have issues."

"He was mine," she screamed.

"You are aware that he was my husband Jabba?"

She screamed with rage, "and I fucked him the night before you got married."

"And several times after that and before that," I nodded. "What does that mean besides the fact that you were a slut then and you're a slut now?"

"Bitch, he wanted me."

"He wanted anyone who'd open their legs for him. Do you really think you're the only one he was screwing?"

"He loved me," she hissed.

"Didn't you know that they never buy the cow when they can get the milk for free?"

"Fucking bitch," she squealed.

"That doesn't alter the fact lunatic. He was my husband. He married me. You were the adulterous slut who screwed him on our brand new dining table in our brand new house when we'd been married what...five minutes?"

"He loved me!"

"You're delusional," I sighed.

"But you left...you were out of the picture off doing God knows what at EE Martin and we were fine."

"You married someone else and then he..."

"Shut up bitch," she screamed. "I thought I was rid of you. Then you come back and you got Joe Morelli."

"Well, that didn't turn out so well," I reminded her.

"Do you have any idea how much work it took to get him to cheat on you? He wouldn't take me, but when I whispered in his ear about how much time you spent with Ranger…that was really all it took."

I glanced over at Joe who was crouched behind some seats. "You don't say?"

"Yea, he wouldn't screw me, but he'd pretty much screw anyone else."

"Well, what did I really lose?"

"The hottest cop in Trenton," she laughed hysterically.

"You do know I'm married now? Have you seen my husband?"

That was the last straw. She cut loose. "I should have killed you with Dickie. I should have killed you in high school when you fucked Morelli. I should have done it then. Why did I wait so long to try? And that dumb ass Dickie was going to protect you. He was going to save you. He's not saving anyone now. He found me building the bombs for your house and your car and he tried to stop me. He was going to the police. Dickie Orr was going to the police? Can you friggin believe it? Not anymore." She laughed gleefully and began to shoot pretty wildly.

It was then that I knew that she truly was insane. I felt a strange sense of loss then. How could my arch nemesis be someone who held on to her sanity with a thread? "You killed Dickie," I whispered. I knew she couldn't hear me. But it was more that I was affirming what I knew. I felt the sting in my ass and groaned. That was the second time I'd been shot in the ass and I was starting to get pissed. "Fuck Joyce," I screamed, "calm down you crazy bitch."

She just laughed and laughed and laughed.

That's when Mitch got her. He shot the gun out of her hand and he was practically in front of her when he did it. I'm telling you, it pays to know people with special talents.

I put my face on my arms and cried as they dragged her away reading her Miranda. I didn't even seem to care that I had a bullet in my butt. It was the end of an era and I was just tired. I was always tired at the end of these things, but this felt different somehow. This time I knew I was saying goodbye to my past.

I glanced over at Joe and sighed. He cheated on me because of Ranger. I wasn't sure that was the whole story. I wasn't quite sure how that whole thing correlated. If that's why he did it, that was pretty fucked up. I didn't cheat on him sexually. Yea, there had been incidents in the alley. But that was it.

"Babe," Ranger said softly. He sank down beside me and saw the blood seeping. "Fuck, you're shot."

I gave him a slight smile, "I'm okay."

He frowned, "why don't I believe that? You have blood under you and…"

"I think maybe I needed her," I sighed.

"You needed who," he frowned and tugged my skirt up to see the wound.

"Joyce," I sighed.

"You need to talk to Dr. Addison," he said seriously.

I laughed, "Maybe I do."

"We'll call him when we're done at the hospital. First, I think you need to go and get a bullet removed from your ass."

I sighed, "Same old, same old."

Carrie came in and took one look at me and shook her head. "You know you're going to the hospital, right?"

"Right," I nodded. "Can I give my statement before we go? Tis only a flesh wound."

She giggled.

"What," Ranger frowned.

I laughed, "_**Monty Python and the Holy Grail**_..."

He looked blank.

"The Black Knight," Carrie gazed at him expectantly and rolled her eyes when he was still blank.

"Oh geez Ranger," I sighed. "You've read **_He's Not That Into You_** a million times and you've never seen _**Monty Python and the Holy Grail.**_ That's seriously demented. You have issues."

"Yea...I have you," he shook his head.

"Ha," I laughed and hissed when I felt a flash of pain.

Carrie lifted my skirt and winced, "it's a little more than a flesh wound."

"Please," I said softly, "what's surprising about that?"

"Not much," she laughed.

"I have stuff to do Carrie. I can't just leave."

She sighed, "I'll delay as long as I think it's safe."

I nodded.

It took a while to give our statements. It took a long time to talk to the studio people and eventually it was determined that the project would be scrapped. In the meantime, Brenda was on the phone with her agent and she was grinning. Because this was scrapped, she had a movie offer that she could act on.

Lula finished giving her statement and headed off to have dinner with Tank before going to the radio station and doing her first radio show.

Mitch walked out with Christian assuring him that he was straight, but he knew people. I shook my head, but Carrie just grinned. "That's my guy," she laughed.

Joyce went off the hospital where she was checked in for observation before they decided whether she'd had a complete psychotic break. I suspected that she'd be in the loony bin within the week. Yep, she was psycho.

Joe informed me that they'd found Dickie's body in Joyce's rented house. He had been dead for a while.

Ranger knelt beside the gurney, "you can't delay this anymore Babe. Your Dad has already called me."

"He did," I raised a brow.

"He remembered who was with Dickie," he said with a slight smile.

"The Tramp," I said, but it didn't feel the same anymore.

"Yep," he nodded.

I sighed, "Okay Carrie. Take me away. My husband says I have to go."

Ranger raised a brow and lifted his hand to move the curls off my face, "Babe…you're scaring me."

I smiled slightly, "it's the end of something that I counted on being in my life. You know, like Batman needs the Joker or the Riddler."

"Babe," he sighed. "You'll be better without Joyce. Hell, you were always better without Joyce."

I smiled, "thank you."

He sighed, "Babe…I…"

I sighed tiredly, "We'll talk later."

He nodded.

Carrie wheeled me away. I don't know what he was about to say. It could have been that he loved me, or it may not have been. In any case, if that was what he was about to say, he would say it again later. If not, then what did I really miss?


	24. Chapter 24 Coming Down

I own nothing Janet created either character or story. I own what I added. I make nothing.

* * *

I woke up in the hospital and I knew that I'd been in surgery. I was on my stomach and there was a bandage on my ass and an IV in my arm. I blinked groggily and saw Ranger sitting beside the bed. He was asleep. Probably not entirely asleep, I'm not sure he ever slept completely anywhere but in his bed…our bed.

Just as I suspected his eyes opened slowly and he met my gaze. "Babe," he sighed.

"Hey," I said tiredly.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I was shot in the ass," I said with a slight smile. "How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you? You don't look fine."

"I don't," he frowned.

"No, you look upset."

"You were shot in the ass Stephanie," he said softly.

"I am aware of that."

"I should have stayed with you."

I sighed, "You did what had to be done."

"I should have stayed with you. You're my wife. It's my job to protect you."

"I don't think you can protect me from all the insane people in Trenton Ranger. This is the suck zone. You need to give that idea up."

"I should have stayed with you."

"I wasn't the only person in the room."

"You're the only one I'm married to," he hissed.

I sighed. Sometimes he was such a friggin martyr. Didn't he realize that if he had stayed with me… I swallowed. "If you'd have stayed with me, you'd be dead," I said quietly. "You were on top of me. The path of the bullet…you'd be dead."

"Babe," he whispered.

"You'd be dead," I said holding his gaze with my tearful one. "Do you really think that's preferable to this? It's not the first time I've been shot in the ass. I doubt it will be the last."

"Jesus Babe," he groaned running his hand through his hair.

"Let it go," I said softly.

"Let it go," he repeated.

"Come here," I said holding my hand out to him.

He moved the chair to the side of the bed so I could see him and touch his face.

"I got shot in the butt."

"Your very beautiful ass," he said looking sadly at my butt.

I laughed. "Carrie said it was even in the same spot as last time. So I won't even have another scar," I said with a teasing grin.

"Great," he sighed.

"Look, this is my take on the situation. The drugs are okay. I've finally proven everyone on the planet that Joyce friggin Barnhardt is a complete lunatic. You're alive. It's a win-win situation from my point of view."

He took my hand and kissed it, "you scare the shit out of me sometimes."

"Hey I wasn't even doing anything crazy when I got shot. I was sitting on the stage beside you. I wasn't chasing a bad guy or anything."

"And you looked really hot," he growled.

"Did I," I grinned.

"Was that for me?"

"And for Manuel," I teased. "I figured I needed a distraction outfit as sort of a homage to our time on the I-Beam due to him."

"But you had on shoes. When is the last time you wore those boots? I miss those boots. Those boots were...."

I laughed, "sadly, the boots were blown up with the house."

"Oh no," he said in shock. "How hard will it be to get another pair?"

"I don't know. You have an unnatural attraction to those boots Ranger."

"Yea, well it's really how they look on you."

"I can see me in them right now. I'd be wearing my hospital gown, a bandage on my ass, and four inch heel boots...sexy," I grinned.

He threw back his head and laughed. His face straightened quickly, "don't make me laugh. I'm upset. You got shot in the ass."

"I know. I'm sorry about that."

"I don't like you being shot."

"I don't either. For the record, I don't like you being shot either," I said softly.

"I know," he sighed and leaned down to kiss the hand he was holding.

"I like you better alive," I sighed. "You work out better that way."

"So do you," he said seriously.

"I love you," I sighed.

He took a deep breath and the door opened and Dr. Funny Bone came in. Jesus Pete that man had lousy timing. Ranger was about to say something important I think. Maybe it would have even been life altering. I sighed.

"Mrs. Manoso, it's lovely to see you again. It's always exciting to come to work and see what kind of scraps you've gotten yourself into."

"I'm happy to entertain you."

"What kind of shenanigans have you gotten yourself into this time?"

"Not much," I said blandly. "I was filming the first and last of my talk show when my arch nemesis…"

"Arch nemesis," he raised a brow with a smirk.

"Who's telling this story," I asked pointedly.

"I beg your pardon. Please carry on," he grinned.

"Anyway, my arch nemesis that blew up my house and my car and shot at me in front of the Bridal shop lost her rabid ass mind and decided to shoot me on a stage in front of a live audience. That's what shenanigans I've been up to."

"Well, that's certainly a story for the grandchildren," he said patting my hand. "How do you feel?"

"Not bad. The drugs are good."

He grinned, "That's good to know. Do you know that I've been told that Rangeman and Ricardo Carlos Manoso are both big contributors to this hospital especially to the children's wing?"

"You don't say," I smiled over at Ranger. I wasn't surprised.

"So, this is what I'm thinking. Could we maybe get together next time over cocktails? If we send you an invitation to our next fund raiser, could we meet when we're all upright…if at least temporarily until the martini's take effect?"

I grinned, "I think I can work that into my schedule as long as it's not in the too near future."

"Mr. Manoso, could you do it too?"

"I think my wife and I can work it into our schedules," he assured him.

"Good," he nodded. "I'm sure you realize that we're keeping Mrs. Manoso overnight."

Ranger nodded.

"All right," he smiled. "I'll see you in the morning and as long as there are no other complications you'll be released."

"Thank you Dr…" I broke off and bit my lip.

"I know," he chuckled. "I'm Dr. Funny Bone." He went through the door pulling it to behind him.

I winced, "I'm not sure I like that he knows that I call him that."

He grinned.

"Oh well," I sighed.

Moments later the door opened again and my parents and Grandma bustled through followed by Ranger's parents. I raised a brow at him as he covered my ass with the sheet before both sets of parents bore down on us.

"Stephanie, dear…how is your…bottom," my mother said delicately.

"Sore," I smiled. "But they've given me some very nice pain killers and I'm fine."

Ranger's mother leaned down and kissed my head, "darling girl…are you all right?"

"I'm fine," I assured her.

"Ricardo…why didn't you protect her," Papa said.

"Please Papa," I said reaching for his hand, "he was protecting me. If he had stayed where he was, he'd be dead now."

Papa's gaze rested on his son and he kissed my head and then hugged his son.

"I'm okay Papa," Ranger assured him hugging him back.

"Your job is dangerous. You should think of your Mama," he whispered.

"Papa, I've given up my government job. I'm running the security company only."

"It's not his fault," I sighed. "I attract the crazies. I…it's my fault."

"No, it's not," Ranger said softly and sank to the side of the bed and brushed my hair back with his fingers. "I made the choice."

I sighed.

"We won't speak of this again," Mama said softly. "It's Trenton. It's always had the crazy element in it. We know this. That's why the unmentionables keep coming here."

"You know about the unmentionables," Ranger said wide-eyed.

"There are some in our family," she smiled. "Ricardo…you're an unmentionable."

He just blinked at her.

"Come on boy," his father laughed, "didn't you realize that the fact that you can get into any place was a gift that most people don't have? You just run your hand over the door and it opens. Did you really think you were a goblin in some Harry Potter book or something? Rowling created from real life. I've suspected since I read the first book that she's an unmentionable herself."

"That's how you do it," I blinked at him. Then I snorted. J K Rowling was an unmentionable? Riiiiiggggghhhhtttt!

He shrugged.

"Well, Stephanie…you're unmentionable too," my father said seriously.

"What," I said wide-eyed.

"Come now...your life is a little strange, don't you think," he laughed.

"Your father is right," my mother said quietly as though her word should not be disputed, "you do attract the crazies. You always have ever since you were about thirteen."

Daddy sighed, "Yes…it's been quite aggravating."

"Oh I think it's been a hoot," Grandma grinned. "We've had such adventures."

"Adventures," my mothers sighed.

I grinned at Grandma and she winked at me.

"That's why Diesel comes to you," Ranger sighed.

"And why he knows you," I said quietly.

"Diesel," Papa frowned. "Do you mean Ghost's cousin?"

I laughed, "of course, you'd know that."

"I know a lot of things that people don't realize I know," he said softly meeting my eyes.

I swallowed. What did he know about me? Or was it that he knew about us?

Papa straightened, "we won't stay. We don't want to tire you darling girl. You get your rest and you'll be home soon."

"Yes," I smiled.

"We bought a house," Ranger said quietly. "The furniture was delivered today. Lester was arranging it."

Mama laughed, "Then I'm sure it will have to be moved."

"Probably," Ranger smiled.

"Where is the house," Papa asked.

"The old Petroni place," he said softly.

"Old place," Mama laughed. "That house is only five years old."

"That's what the realtor called it," I grinned.

"It's a good house," Mama assured my mother. "There will be room for many grandchildren."

"And kittens, puppies and fish," my mother added.

"We're skipping the fish," I said absently.

"I think that's wise dear," Mom said with a smile. "I never quite understood that one."

"You and me both," I agreed.

"Well…Ricardo has a fear of commitment," Papa said.

"Papa," Ranger sighed.

"Say what you will," Papa held up his hand, "but you have. Mama and I are just happy that you've found someone that you loved enough to get past it to marry. Now…we are interested in finding out if you can get past it to have more children. Estefania deserves to have her own bambinas, don't you think?"

Ranger sighed and raised his eyes to me. The look in his eyes was suddenly quite sad. Then he turned to his father, "yes, she does."

I felt my heart sink. I had a feeling that I'd just missed my chance.

We spent the night in the hospital. Yes, both of us did. You know if I had to stay overnight that he certainly did. Dr. Funny Bone dropped by the next morning and checked me out and said I could go. I didn't even have real stitches. I just had a butterfly bandage. He said that he thought my scar might actually even be smaller than it was. I guess I had a reason to thank that lunatic.

Ranger settled me gently into the SUV with half of my ass on a very soft pillow. At one time I may have been annoyed by the idea of settling my ass on a pillow, but now I was grateful. I wonder if that had to do with being thirty or maybe it was more that I'd spent so much time being infirm that I just had to let go of my dignity a little bit.

I sat back and tried to get as comfortable as I could. I was sleepy. They'd given me some pretty good pain meds before I left so the ride home wouldn't jostle me too much.

When I next opened my eyes I was in a huge darkened room in the middle of an even more gigantic bed and I wasn't alone. Ranger was beside me and he was asleep. I blinked to get acclimated to the faint light and gasped when I realized where we were. We were in the house. We were in our house. We were in the Bat Cave. I felt the smile tug at the corner of my mouth. There were drapes on the windows. They had to be custom for the room because they fit and they meshed perfectly with the linens I'd bought before I was shot. I smiled knowing that Natalie probably had something to do with that. It's nice to have friends. I squinted to look at the clock and saw that it was almost two AM. It was two AM and I had to pee and nothing was going to stop me.

I moved gingerly to the edge of the bed and slowly sat up being careful of the wound on my behind. Then after reorienting myself with the room I crept to the bathroom and into the little room that housed the toilet. Oh man, this was nice I had to admit. I jumped slightly when there was a tap on the bathroom door and winced. "I'm fine."

"Just checking," he said tiredly. "I didn't hear you get up."

I flushed and exited the bathroom to the sink in the still darkened bathroom and washed my hands, "gee Ranger…do you need to be more aware of your surroundings?"

"Smart ass," he smiled and leaned against the counter wearing absolutely nothing but his smile.

Good Lord my heart began to beat out of control. I'd been shot 24 hours or so ago and now my libido was again out of control. He was killing me.

"Get that look off your face Babe."

"What look," I said turning to the sink to rinse my hands.

"The look that makes me want to do nasty things to you," he said with a slight growl.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said picking up my toothbrush.

"Right," he said and disappeared into the toilet area.

I groaned softly to myself and finished brushing my teeth just as he exited the bathroom and my stomach growled at the same time.

"Hungry," he asked.

"You could say that," I swallowed.

"I meant for food," he chuckled raising his brow.

"Well, it's not my fault. You're walking around buck naked and I'm only human."

He nodded and dried his hands and reached for a pair of silk pajama bottoms that were hanging on a hook behind the door.

"Were you wearing those," I frowned.

"When I first went to bed," he nodded.

"I don't understand," I said watching him put them on.

"I like sleeping naked. I especially like sleeping naked with you."

"Oh," I swallowed.

"All right, do you think you want to try to go down the stairs yourself, or would you like a ride?"

"We're going downstairs?"

"We're going to get something to eat. The mothers have been here and they've got us fully stocked. Between them and Ella, we may not have to cook for a month."

"Hmm," I nodded. "I'll try it."

"Good girl," he nodded.

I made it down the first five steps before he decided that I'd turned quite pale enough and scooped me carefully up into his arms and carried me into the kitchen. "Wow," I whispered when he put me down. "Is this the same house we agreed to buy?"

He laughed, "Yes Babe. It looks a lot different with the furniture in it that you picked out and of course all the window treatments that Natalie worked like a mad woman to complete before you came home. Do you like them okay? I think she did a great job."

"How did she do it?"

"She works for a lingerie company," he laughed. "They sewed them."

"Oh," I nodded. "It looks amazing. I can't wait to see the rest of the house."

"The kid's rooms aren't done yet. We didn't buy furniture for those rooms."

"Well, as soon as my ass is a little more healed I'll look into it," I said easing onto a chair.

"Babe…we got a call from Dickie's lawyer."

"Dickie had a lawyer?"

"Yea."

"So…let me get this straight, Dickie…the lawyer had a lawyer."

"Yea…he kind of needed one considering all the trouble he's been in lately."

"Oh yea," I nodded thoughtfully and picked up the bottle of water he put in front of me. "So, why did we get a call from Dickie's lawyer?"

"Well, **we** didn't," he said with a sigh. "You did."

"I don't understand," I frowned.

"Babe…you know that they found Dickie's body in Joyce's basement," he said softly.

I nodded and for some reason my eyes filled with tears. I didn't love Dickie, but I had once thought I did. For that reason alone I had sorrow. I had sorrow because he was a bit of a dumbass and he'd once been my husband.

"Well, he had a will."

I smiled, "of course he did."

"You're his sole heir."

"What," I blinked at him in shock.

"He left you everything. He also left an envelope for you, it was delivered here. Do you want it now?"

"No…thank you," I shook my head. "Why would he do that?"

"I don't know Babe. Maybe he had remorse?"

"Maybe," I sighed. "Man…if Joyce knew this, she'd be really pissed."

"Yea," he grinned.

"Oh well, how much money could he really have left me anyway?"

"According to the attorney, after taxes and his fees it's worth about seven million dollars."

I almost fell off the stool. "You're shitting me?"

"Why would I," he shook his head.

"Why would you," I agreed.

"Anyway…you'll need to meet with the lawyers and you'll probably want to think about what you want to do with all the property as well. He owned some real estate."

I nodded blankly.

"So…what do you think, would you like some pot roast, some manicotti or some enchiladas?"

"Whatever you want is fine," I said absently. I wasn't thinking about food. I was thinking about my dead ex-husband and the millions of dollars that he left me. I was thinking that there had to be more to it than that. I was thinking that I could keep this house when Ranger left me. I was thinking there was no way I could stay without him in it.


	25. Chapter 25 Natalie & Cal Do

Happy Easter to those who celebrate it and to you who don't, happy Sunday. What JE owns, she owns. What I own, I own. I make nothing off of either.

I told someone that Joyce wouldn't spend much time behind bars or in the asylum because she hadn't killed anyone, I totally forgot about Dickie. That sometimes happens with insane people like me and Joyce. I apologize to whoever I misled.

* * *

On the day of Natalie and Cal's wedding I was still a little tender in the bottom, but I was a feeling much better overall. The house was coming together and I'd been spending much of my time writing thank you notes and recording and taking pictures of all the gifts. The truth is that I didn't want to forget any of the presents and I wanted to make sure to send the right gift to the right person if Ranger ever went through with that divorce.

Natalie looked beautiful in the dress she'd chosen. She was breath-taking. I kept thinking that all of my friends were getting married lately and they all had gorgeous weddings in beautiful dresses and I'd... Well, I'd gotten married on the beach drunk and didn't remember much more than a song and a couple of flashes of memory. It was annoying. I don't know though, in a way it was good. I wanted to be with Ranger forever, it wasn't that. I was just that I didn't think I wanted another 'burg' wedding. The first one had been a nightmare. I'm not sure Ranger would have survived it.

Eventually we were all led to the anti-chamber and we began the long walk down the aisle to witness Natalie and Cal's wedding. I was looking forward to it. Natalie had arranged that Ranger was the groomsman that would be directly across from me. I think she had an agenda. I think she was trying to stir up memories. Natalie is a smart girl. That's why Ranger picked her to run Sizzlin. Well, that and because she's someone you can trust. Natalie is an upright kind of chick.

I walked down the aisle slowly smiling to my left and right as we'd rehearsed. I winked at a few people along the way including Ella and some of the other people from Rangeman. When I got to the end, I took my place and waited for the rest of the bridesmaids and the matron of honor to join me. The music changed from the soft strains of the violin to the wedding march and Natalie walked through the double doors. I heard the gasps as people saw her for the first time. I mean it, she was beautiful. The audience rose to their feet and Natalie drifted slowly down the aisle on her father's arm to her destiny. Cal had tears running down his face as he watched her. And, let's be real here, Cal may be the most scary to look at, but he had the softest heart of all the Rangeman employees. Cal was in love and he was damn mushy about it. Actually my husband, who was standing directly across from me, could use some lessons in that area. But his expression as he watched me from across the rose petal strewn carpet was a pretty good start.

The dress I was wearing was shimmering pink and the other girls wore dresses of the same style in other spring colors. It was a dress we could wear again just as Lula's had been. Both women did a great job of choosing something that could be moved into our regular wardrobe. I loved both dresses. But Natalie's dress was perfect for her small frame. It was sexy and oddly traditional and it was her to a T.

Natalie finally arrived and and the minister began the ceremony and my eyes drifted from Natalie and Cal to Ranger's. His eyes were on mine and they weren't budging. His eyes were boring into me as though to will me into something. I had no idea what he was trying to communicate to me, but I knew it was important to him. The look on his face was very intense. I'm not sure I can remember him ever looking at me like that before.

Padma passed Cal's ring to the minister and Natalie slid the ring onto Cal's finger when the time came. Both of them were crying now and I realized, inexplicably that there were tears running down my face as well. I looked over at Ranger and found his eyes were a little misty too. Why? Was it wishful thinking on his part? Was he wishing we'd had something like this instead of a wedding that was in fact completely forgettable?

I swallowed and took a steadying breath and bowed my head as the minister prayed. I listened to his words and pictures flashed in my mind. There were vague memories of another time, of that time. I could see flashes of our wedding in my head and I knew I was happy. I couldn't hear the words or make out who else was there, but I could see Ranger gazing down at me and smiling. I shook my head and said amen as the minister finished.

Then after a few moments and a long kiss and a laugh that was pure joy on Cal's part, Natalie and Cal walked back up the aisle grinning at each other like maniacs and slowly the bridesmaids and groomsmen followed. Ranger and I were the last to go back up the aisle. I walked to the center and put my hand through my husband's arm and smiled slightly up at him. He was still gazing at me intently. He was still willing me to know something. One day I may be able to read his mind as he reads mine, but not yet.

I went straight to Natalie and hugged her tight and told her how beautiful she was, and then I did the same to Cal. That was moments before the entire church full of people descended on them and their reception was beginning. Ranger and I stood in the receiving line. Everyone knew who he was from both the bride's side and the groom's side. He was boss to both of them. And when he introduced me to the guest in front of him, there were always happy smiles. Evidently they knew about me as well, and some of them didn't know me as the bombshell bounty hunter but as Cal or Natalie's friend or Ranger's wife. That was really nice.

After the receiving line was disassembled we found our places and sat down to enjoy our dinner.

"Would you like to dance," Ranger asked softly.

"Sure, but be gentle with me. I can't bunny hop yet," I teased.

"I think we can manage a nice slow scoot around the floor," he said with a smile.

We took to the dance floor with Rob Thomas singling '_**Ever the Same'**_.

_Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be  
Forever with you  
Forever in me  
Ever the same  
Call on me  
I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me  
Forever it's you  
Forever in me  
Ever the same_

Forever with you  
Forever in me  
Ever the same(Ever the same)

My arms slid up around his neck and we moved slowly around the floor. That song ended and the next began after a short pause. It was _**Faithfully**_ by Journey.

_Highway run into the midnight sun  
Wheels go round and round  
You're on my mind  
Restless hearts sleep alone tonight  
Sending all my love along the wire  
They say that the road  
ain't no place to start a family  
Right down the line it's been you and me  
And loving a music man  
ain't always what it's supposed to be_

Ranger's arms tightened around me briefly and I felt him tense just for a second before he began to move again. His face slid down into my hair and his right hand reached for my left and he slid his fingers over the rings lying there.

Memories flooded my mind. We were walking down to the beach following a judge.

_Girl  
you stand by me  
I'm forever yours  
faithfully  
Circus life under the big top world  
We all need the clowns to make us laugh  
Through space and time  
Always another show  
Wondering where I am lost without you  
And being a part ain't easy on this love affair  
Two strangers learn to fall in love again  
I get the joy of rediscovering you_

Ranger's pace slowed and his hand slid up and down my back and his lips pressed into my hair and down to my ear. And the memories continued to slide through my mind like flashes of video or photographs.

"_Stephanie I love you. You are my best friend and today I give myself to you in marriage," he said softly. _The memory was so vivid that it could have happened ten minutes ago. The look in his eyes said it was real. His emotions were laid out. There was no mask. Was this memory real? Had he told me that he loved me? Did it count if he repeated it after someone else? Did he mean it?

_Oh girl  
you stand by me  
I'm forever yours  
faithfully  
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh  
oh oh oh oh oh oh  
faithfully  
I'm still yours  
I'm forever yours  
Ever yours  
faithfully_

I pulled away and looked up at him in confusion. What was real and what was my fantasy. I just stood there in the middle of the dance floor and stared at him for a moment and in his eyes just briefly I saw fear. He was afraid of something. What was he afraid of? Was he afraid of something I'd remember or something I wouldn't?

I swallowed, "excuse me." I pushed gently through the crowd making my way to the ladies room. Once in the stall I sank to the toilet and stared at the door blankly. I'd once said that I didn't want to see the video that Manuel had of my wedding, but now I had a feeling that the video would contain answers to questions I really needed answers to. I just wasn't sure what those answers were.

There was a tap on the stall and Padma's voice followed, "Steph…are you okay?"

"Yes," I said clearing my throat. "I just got a little warm." I got up and opened the stall and came out with a smile.

"You've been through a lot lately," she said gently. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay," I assured her. "Didn't Natalie look beautiful?"

"She did," she smiled sweetly and put her hand on her belly. "I on the other hand look like a beached whale."

"No you don't," I assured her. "You look beautiful." I hugged her to me. "I envy you this time Padma. You're happy. You're in love. You're starting your family."

"Steph…you're in the same place, aren't you?"

I force a smile over the threatening tears. "Sure…but first kittens and puppies."

"Ranger and his commitment issues," she rolled her eyes.

"Right," I smiled. "I better get back to him or he'll start worrying."

"Okay," she smiled and hugged me before entering a stall.

I left her in the bathroom and returned to the dance floor. Ranger was on the edge waiting for me. He offered me his hand and pulled me back to the center again as Journey once again came from the speakers. This time it was Open Arms.

_Lying beside you, here in the dark  
Feeling your heart beat with min__e  
Softly you whisper, you're so sincere  
How could our live be so blind  
We sailed on together  
We drifted apart  
And here you are by my side_

_So now I come to you, with open arms  
Nothing to hide, believe what I say  
So here I am with open arms  
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me  
Open arms__._

Living without you, living alone  
This empty house seems so cold  
Wanting to hold you, wanting you near  
How much I wanted you home

But now that you've come back  
Turned night into day  
I need you to stay

I knew the tears were running down my face and there was nothing I could do but bury my face in his jacket and hope that no one else knew. I could only hope that he wouldn't realize. But who was I really kidding. He always knew. He knew everything I thought and everything I felt. He knew me inside and out. He knew my soul.

He sighed and rubbed my back gently. "What do you want to do?"

"Run," I whispered.

"Let's go," he said seriously.

"I can't," I shook my head.

"Babe…"

"I can't. I owe them this much," I said seriously. "This is their day. I won't make it about me. There are enough days that are about me."

"What days are about you?"

"The days I'm in the hospital or being blown up or…"

He sighed and shook his head and wiped my cheeks gently with his sleeve. "You're one of the least selfish people I've ever met in my life. They would understand."

"They can understand some other time," I said quietly.

He nodded. "What's your second choice?"

"We keep dancing," I said seriously.

And we did. We danced until I hurt too much do dance anymore and then we went back to our seats and chatted amiably with our table mates about the wedding and the flowers and the cake and how beautiful the bride was. We acted like grownups.

Then we threw birdseed and Natalie and Cal after Ranger helped decorate their escape vehicle with cans and plenty of safe sprays that would just wash off. We waved them off as Ranger's arm slid around my waist pulling me gently against his body. There was no way that anyone looking on would have even considered that we might not be intending to stay married to each other. There was no way that anyone would have given it a second thought. But I saw Mitch on the other side of the parking lot watching us with a speculative look. He knew. He knew that we were performing. He knew. I wondered how our acting was.

After the wedding we headed back to the house. I was tired. Ranger was probably even tired. It had been a long day.

We stopped and picked up the mail and there was a manila envelope on the top from Cayman from Manuel. I could tell the envelope contained a disk of some kind and I was pretty sure what was contained on the disk. The envelope was addressed to me.

We went into the house and I headed up the stairs to change. I kicked my shoes off and slid out of the confining panty hose and pulled my dress over my head. I took a quick shower and pulled on a nightgown. I dropped carefully to the bed and picked up the envelope and turned it over and over in my hands. I wasn't sure that I wanted to see what was on that disk. I wasn't sure if it would break my heart in more ways than one.

Ranger came into the bedroom with his tie hanging on his collar and his jacket over his shoulder. "Okay Babe?"

"Um-hmm," I nodded.

"Aren't you going to open that," he asked with a raised brow and went into the closet to strip.

"I don't know," I said honestly and dropped to my back on the bed with the envelope in my outstretched hand.

"Why," he asked exiting the closet naked.

"I'm just not sure it's a good idea."

"Who's it from," he asked.

"Manuel," I whispered.

He stilled at the bathroom door. "Babe…" His voice was hoarse.

"Yea," I closed my eyes.

"Nothing," he said and went into the bathroom with his head down.

I lay there for a while with the envelope in my hand and then put it in the drawer of my nightstand and climbed between the sheets with tears welling in my eyes.

When Ranger returned to the bedroom I was still lying there staring up at the ceiling. He crossed immediately to the bed and sat down on the side of it. "Babe…"

"Umm," I swallowed.

"If I ask you not to look at it, will you please…" He stopped and struggled for a moment trying and failing miserably to get his blank face on, "will you please not look at it."

I opened my eyes to see him looking at me and there was no mask. There was fear. I frowned. "Why?"

"Babe," he groaned.

"There has to be a reason Ranger. I know why I'm faltering. Why are you faltering?"

"It's complicated."

"What's complicated about it? It's supposed to be the video of our drunken wedding on the beach."

"I know," he whispered.

"What are you afraid I'll see?"

"It's not…" He stopped talking and got up and paced the room before dropping beside me on the big bed.

"It's not what?"

"I don't know," he whispered.

"That's clear as mud," I nodded quietly.

"I'm just asking you…please…"

"I just wish I understood your motivation."

"I just…I don't want you to look at it."

I swallowed gazing up at his pain and fear, "all right…for now."

"All right," he whispered.

"All right," I repeated.

He nodded and leaned over to press his lips to mine gently.

My fingers slid into his damp hair and I sighed in his kiss and it deepened. We made love slowly touching every inch of each other caressing and tasting. There was no desperation even though the need was definitely there. He was careful with me. And when he was inside me, he moved slowly each stroke was tender as his kiss pushing me up slowly to the highest I'd ever been.

I thought once that only Brian had ever made love to me, but now that wasn't true any longer. Ranger made love to me. He loved me as though he cherished me and each moment we had together.

I lay there in the warm circle of his arms for a long time after that. What could be on the video that he didn't want me to see that much? More than that, why wasn't I brave enough to watch it either? It scared him…that disk. It scared him what I'd see. There was part of me that knew I couldn't avoid it forever. I'd need to see it. I'd need to find out exactly where we were. I'd need to know what he was hiding. For now though, I was content feeling that he loved and cherished me. For now…that was enough.

* * *

The songs in this chapter are **Ever the Same** by Rob Thomas from the album **Something to Be, Faithfully** by Journey from the album **Frontiers** and **Open Arms** by Journey from the album **Escape**. The Journey songs also appeared in several greatest hits and live albums.


	26. Chapter 26 What Makes it Home?

I make diddly squat. Janet owns hers, I borrow them, use them, abuse them, and will someday return them. I added my own spice with characters. Hopefully it makes a good soup.

* * *

Over the next several weeks I was kept very busy. I didn't go into the office. I didn't even check my email. I stayed at home and worked on my house. I also conferred with my mother and Ranger and his mother about our upcoming reception. The invitations were sent and I was busy opening wedding presents and sending thank you notes out as fast as I could.

Ranger didn't even ask me if I planned to return to work. I'll be honest with you, it never crossed my mind. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to go back to that. I guess it sort of depended on whether or not my husband pulled his head out of his ass and admitted that he wanted to stay married to me. Besides he had someone to do the paperwork that he hated so much now, so he was pretty much free to meet with potential clients himself. If they missed me doing research, nobody said anything. Probably the only one who really missed me was the ever diligent Rodriguez. Well, Tank probably missed me. I think I had a clear understanding of what he needed these days.

In any case, I didn't want to be in the office. I didn't want to be near any memories of OUR past. I was working diligently on creating new memories. And that was difficult enough to do knowing that my entire world could shatter if I watched the video that Ranger oh so definitely didn't want me to watch. I could only do what I could do. I think Ranger knew that I was at a point of crisis. I know I knew it.

When I wasn't working on the house, I went shopping with Lula or met Padma at the baby stores. Gabe would go with her any time she wanted him to, but I think she knew I liked to gaze wistfully at the tiny little garments and imagine that Ranger and I would someday have a little body to put in them.

I also met with Dickie's attorney. I was his heir. He left me everything including the house he lived in, the house we had lived in and the house he died in. He also left me the office building he worked out of as well as several others throughout the city. He was a bit of a real estate mogul. All of the business buildings were in prime locations. The attorney said I shouldn't have any trouble selling any of the business or most of the houses. Let's be frank, the house he died in probably would have problems selling in anywhere else in the world even when the economy was good, but in Trenton…land of 'the family', I probably wasn't going to experience any problems selling.

I eventually forced myself to read the letter that Dickie had sent me through his solicitor. He was actually very gracious in the letter. He told me that he loved me as much as he was capable of loving anyone but himself. He said that he knew that he was a selfish, manipulative cheating bastard and quite honestly I'd deserved better. That's why he'd done it on the dining room table knowing I'd see. He wanted me to walk away knowing I was the better person. The letter eased my heart a little bit, but he was pretty bad. I laughed at some points in the letter when he reminded me of events we'd shared. He wanted me to see that he had loved me and that he had wanted what he had promised when he married me. He wanted me to know that he just wasn't the man he wanted to be. He would never be that. I don't know. I think at the end, he turned out to be a pretty good man.

After digging through Dickie's real estate holdings, cash, bonds, and all other assets it turned out that I was doing all right financially. When it came down to it, I was about as wealthy as my husband was and should he decide that he wanted out of our marriage, I was no longer going to be forced to take his money or anything else from him. If I chose, I could go somewhere he wouldn't find me for a very long time. I wondered how long it would take to get him out of my mind and heart. I wondered if that was even possible.

I puttered about the mansion filling the empty spaces but not too much. This was Ranger's home too and it needed to reflect both of us. The lines stayed clean. There was no clutter. The only place we seemed to have stuff was in the home theater where I'd been working to diligently replace the movies that had been blown up and in the library where I'd been replacing books. I'd even managed to secure copies of _**Nights in Rodanthe **_and _**He's Not That Into You**_. I'd also begun to collect music, but I hadn't gotten as far with that.

Ranger came home nightly and walked all over the house looking for the differences. Often they were subtle and he'd have to ask, but usually he could identify enough of the changes that I'd beam at him while I finished preparing dinner. He'd help me finish dinner, then we'd eat together and talk about our day. He would help me clean up and then we'd watch a movie or read in bed for a while. Sometimes, we began making love as soon as the dishes were done and go until we fell asleep. Other times we'd do seemingly meaningless things till we'd make love once or twice and then go to sleep. But...there was definitely a pattern there. I liked it. It was a good pattern.

My parents and Ranger's parents visited now and then. We'd visited my parents the weekend after Cal and Natalie's marriage, and we were planning a visit to his parents next. Life was hectic. I think it was like married life is supposed to be. I'm not a hundred percent sure about that. I haven't had a good one before.

My father dropped by one day to deliver some wedding gifts that had gone to their house instead of ours. A lot of our older relatives and neighbors still believed that as my parents it was their job to make sure we got those gifts. Mom always waited till they had a few sitting around the house before motoring over to our house to deliver them. This was the first time that my father had been given this assignment though by himself.

"Hi Daddy," I smiled taking a few of the bags full of presents from him.

"Be careful with the Wal-Mart bag, I think that one has some fragile things in it."

"Okay," I nodded. I carried the bags into the library and set them gently on the large table. "I appreciate you going out of your way to bring these by, but you know Ranger or I could drop by the house and pick them up on our way home some time."

"I know…I felt like the drive," he shrugged and looked around the room. "You've done a lot since the last time I was here."

"It's ever evolving," I smiled in agreement as I looked around the room. "It takes a while to make a house a home."

"You need that touchstone that makes it home."

"Yea, I suppose so," I agreed. "But most of my things were destroyed when Joyce blew my house up."

"She's just Joyce now," he grinned at me.

"She's in a home for the criminally insane," I winced. "It seems a little cruel to keep calling her names under the circumstances. Even Batman didn't discuss the Joker when he was in the asylum."

"Right," he grinned. "In any case, your touchstone doesn't always have to be a thing. Sometimes it's a person."

"Oh yea," I raised a brow at him.

"Yea…your mother is my touchstone. When I was doing special ops back in the day I always knew as soon as I saw her that I was home. It really had nothing to do with the housing unit we were currently living in. She was home. Even when I left the ARMY and went to work at the post office, she was that for me. She's still that for me today."

"That's really sweet Daddy," I smiled.

"That's love," he shrugged. "But you need a touchstone here."

I smiled, "yes…I guess as the house becomes more familiar and comfortable and that will sort itself out."

"What made your other house a home?"

"It just felt right," I sighed.

"Does this one feel right," he asked.

"Sometimes it feels more right than others," I admitted. "It's a work in progress."

"Like your marriage," he asked.

I swallowed, "all marriages are a work in progress, aren't they Daddy?"

"True, but yours is maybe a little more of that than most?"

I sighed, "What's going on Daddy?"

"Do you have any coffee?"

"Of course," I nodded and headed for the kitchen. "Today I'm serving Caramel Drizzle."

"Ummm," he sighed. "That sounds great."

I poured two cups of coffee and passed him one before doctoring mine. He drank his black, just like Ranger. I think it has something to do with being military. You get used to not having the little niceties and eventually you not only don't need them, you don't want them.

"So," I led him into the family room and sank into the soft couch, "what's up?"

"Pumpkin I love you," he said patiently as he sat in the wingback chair across from me.

"I know Daddy. I love you too."

"And believe it or not, I love Ricardo too…so does your mother."

"I know," I nodded. Great, now he was calling him Ricardo too. I resisted the urge to sigh.

"I've been watching you and paying close attention and I'll be honest with you Pumpkin, something just doesn't jive."

I frowned, "what doesn't jive?"

"Your 'marriage'," he said patiently.

"We're married Daddy," I assured him. "We got married on February 13th."

"I know. I've seen the marriage license or a copy of it."

"What," I blinked at him in surprise.

"Father's intuition," he said softly.

"I don't understand."

"I know my daughter," he said seriously. "My daughter would not have gotten married on the beach in Cayman without her parents being there. She would have had someone fetch them. You would have. No matter how long we've all struggled to get along and understand one another, we love each other. You wouldn't have left us out."

I swallowed and my eyes filled. He was right. I would have made sure they were there.

"So…what's the rest of the story," he asked.

I sighed and took a deep breath.

"Pumpkin, it won't make a difference in our love for you."

"I know," I said tearfully. I took a deep breath, "we were drunk."

He frowned. "You were drunk?"

"Ranger and I were drunk," I said miserably.

"Both of you," he said quietly.

"Yes," I whispered. "And when we woke up the next morning…I was so shocked and he didn't believe it. He called someone to confirm that it was real."

"I see," he pursed his lips thoughtfully.

"We decided to keep it quiet because we didn't want to ruin Tank and Lula's wedding," I said quietly.

"That was very thoughtful of you," he said grimly.

"I know it's not the best way to start a marriage…being drunk," I whispered tearfully. "And Ranger…well, we talked about not…you know…staying married and…"

He was off the chair and on the sofa with me holding me before I could get any more words out, "Shh…"

"I'm sorry Daddy," I whispered over my tears. "I didn't mean to screw up again."

"I know that Pumpkin," he said quietly. "I know that. You're not to worry about that for one second, do you hear me?"

I nodded.

"You were both drunk," he said.

I looked up to see him frowning thoughtfully. "Yes…Daddy…what's wrong?"

He turned to me and captured my eyes with a very intense gaze, "do you love him?"

I swallowed and nodded.

"Do you want to stay married to him?"

"I do," I nodded, "but only if he wants to stay married to me. I'm not trying to change him Daddy. I just want to love him and be loved by him and have a family. I don't want to push him into anything he doesn't want or isn't ready for."

"I know baby," he said softly. "I wonder if he would do the same for you."

"What," I frowned up at him in confusion.

"Nothing Pumpkin," he smiled. "Now…we'll not talk about this again. You tell me if things change from what they are now?"

"I promise," I nodded.

"Okay, now…show me what you've done with the house since I was here last."

I got to my feet, "I've done the most upstairs. I finished the kid's rooms…at least until…"

He smiled, "I look forward to seeing them."

That night Ranger was a little later than usual getting home from work. Dinner was almost ready and I was wondering how I was going to keep the broccoli from getting brown or yellow if he didn't get home soon. He'd gotten pretty good about letting me know when he was going to be late so I was a little surprised. Ranger, as much as he hated to admit it, liked the structure of our nights at home. He loved our weekends together too.

On Saturday we'd go to yard sales or auctions, and then we'd have lunch somewhere. After lunch we'd putter through book stores or music stores. Sometimes we'd go see a movie or now and then we'd rent one. On Sunday mornings he'd get up early and make, or attempt to make, waffles. Sometimes he'd make his special breakfast burritos. I preferred those Sunday mornings myself. He'd wanted that waffle maker, but it was turning out to be the bane of his existence and of mine. We'd eat breakfast in bed while reading the Sunday paper and then watch mysteries on television occasionally napping or making love. I loved Sundays. They were lazy and lovely.

He came into the kitchen and leaned over to kiss me tiredly.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yea…we had a rough capture?"

"Was anyone hurt?"

"Superficial crap," he shrugged.

"Do you have any boo-boos that need kissing," I teased him.

"We'll check that later," he grinned wolfishly.

I smiled, "it doesn't sound like you have anything wrong at all."

He just grinned. "Did you have a good day?"

"Daddy dropped by with some wedding presents. Most of them are from the Depot," I grinned.

His smile widened. He loved getting stuff from Home Depot.

"I didn't open anything. I waited for you."

"You're a good wife," he kissed me again. "What kind of wine?"

"Red or so," I shrugged.

"How about a Merlot," he suggested.

"Sounds good," I nodded.

"Is that all your father wanted?"

"Sort of," I shrugged and swallowed back the memory of his visit. "He wanted a tour of the house again…you know, to see what we've done since the last time."

"Oh yea," he grinned and popped the cork.

"Yea," I smiled. "He loves the quilts in the kid's rooms."

"Me too," he nodded.

"And…he loves the painting in your office."

He grinned, "I knew he would."

I shook my head. The painting in question was of a nude woman. She actually had her back to the artist. Her hair was piled on her head and tumbled down in wisps of curls. Her waist was narrow and her ass was perky. One small foot was up on the back of her calf and one hand rested in her curls. You could barely make out the slope of one breast. She was a woman who was comfortable with her body. She was relaxed and probably about to get into the bath. The painting itself was dark except for the woman's pale body. It was beautiful. I don't know what Ranger saw in the painting, but the moment he saw it, he had to have it. I suppose it's a man thing.

"Mom also sent lemon cake," I said with a smile. That definitely pleased him. He was in no way immune to my mother's lemon cake.

"It's a wonder they could spare it," he waggled a brow.

"Shut up," I groaned in disgust. "I'll lose my appetite again."

"Don't," he laughed. "You'll disappear into nothing and I'll never be able to find you in this monster of a house."

"Then don't do that," I glared at him.

"Yes ma'am," he saluted me.

"Smart ass," I shook my head.

He was quiet for a few moments watching me stir the sauce and peek into the oven to check the bread. "Ella misses you," he said quietly.

"I miss her too," I admitted. "But I like being in my own kitchen."

"I know you do," he said pouring two glasses of the Merlot.

"But if you miss her cooking…"

"I love Ella and her cooking," he admitted. "But you've become an artist in the kitchen so I don't miss her that much," he grinned at me. "You do almost all the things she used to do for me and a few very important things that she didn't."

I raised a brow and met his wolfish grin. "Well, I should hope not."

He laughed, "Never happened. Besides I'd miss your cooking and the decompression of the day we do while you cook."

"Thanks," I nodded and took the wine glass from him. I raised the glass and touched his glass lightly in our usual toast.

"The boys miss you," he said softly.

"The boys," I blinked at him in astonishment. I don't think he'd ever said anything like that to me before. I was immediately reminded of Joe with his words and couldn't resist the smirk that leaped to my lips. "Do you mean like Joe used to tell me that _Bob and the boys_ missed me? Because I seem to remember that 'the boys' haven't really had that much time to miss me. I've spent a good amount of time with 'the boys'."

He frowned at me in confusion. I could see the moment he realized what I was talking about, he scowled for just a millisecond before he grinned, "No…I don't mean like Bob."

"I should hope not," I said stirring the egg noodles.

"As far as those 'boys' are concerned they're quite happy with the attention they've received from you of late."

"Wifely duty and all that," I shrugged.

He raised a brow at me and gave me a small glare.

I grinned.

"I meant the guys at the office."

"Ah…those boys," I nodded. "They know the way here. The streets go both directions. I know this because I've driven on them."

"It's not the same Stephanie," he said seriously.

I was Stephanie again. I wondered why sometimes I was Babe and sometimes I was Stephanie. Was there some line drawn somewhere in his head? Did he believe I had two personalities and this was his way of reminding himself which personality he was speaking to at any given time? I could clear his mind if that was the case.

Dr. Addison said that I was definitely not suffering from a split personality disorder. He was a doctor. He knew those things. He still refused to discuss my parent's sexual habits. He insisted that he wasn't qualified. He tried to get me to make an appointment with a sex therapist, but I reminded him that my sex life wasn't the one in question. He had to agree with me then and we've since let the matter drop. As a matter of fact, Dr. Addison told me that he wasn't sure that there was anything I really needed him for anymore. He thought I was sane and as normal as anyone else out there. Yes, my life was unusual and he'd stay on call for anything I really needed. But we were down to maintenance about once a month. For some reason that made me feel like a car.

I shook my head to clear my wandering mind, "Well, I know that. But I still have some things to work out. Is my boss telling me to get my ass back to work?"

"No," he shook his head. "As your boss I'm inclined to ignore any issues I may have regarding that in favor of being your husband. If you don't want to be there, don't be there."

"Then why are you still paying me," I raised a brow sipped my wine.

He grinned, "Well, in case you file a sexual harassment lawsuit."

"Right," I nodded and walked away with a smile.

"Anyway…don't come back to work if you don't want to, but come by the office and say hi. Is that okay?"

"Who's asking?"

"Your husband for your friends," he said with a slight smile.

"I can probably do that," I agreed.

He walked around the counter and leaned toward me pushing me against the cabinets, "so…how long till dinner?"

I smiled, "you can't wait till after dinner?"

"We're newlyweds," he shrugged. "I don't want to wait at all."

"Like that makes a difference," I sighed as his very talented mouth moved down my neck and bit lightly at the joint of my neck and shoulder. I bit my lip to stop the moan.

"No…not when it comes to you," he admitted and sucked lightly at the same spot.

"The egg noodles are almost done. The bread is almost done."

"You're saying there's no time," he sighed and straightened to touch his forehead to mine.

"Well…not before dinner," I agreed. "I mean, I could just turn everything off and…"

"No…I won't ruin another of your culinary masterpieces because I can't keep it in my pants around you," he stood straight up and reached down to adjust himself.

I glanced down at the prominent bulge in his black cargoes and licked my lips, "are you sure? I mean its stroganoff. It's usually better the second day anyway."

He laughed, "Thanks Babe…I needed that."

"What," I frowned up at him in confusion.

He looked uncomfortable for a moment, "I needed to know that you still want me."

I stopped for a moment and turned the noodles off and the oven off and turned down the stroganoff. I reached for his hand, "come with me."

"Where are we going," he frowned and let me lead him out of the kitchen.

"To get that idea out of your head for good," I assured him.

"Oh," he grinned and scooped me up and raced up the stairs to our bedroom.


	27. Chapter 27 Laying a Claim

The lovely Janet Evanovich owns what is hers and makes bazillions. I own what is mine and make zero. I use, abuse and will eventually return all of her property.

* * *

I opened my eyes lazily. I didn't want to get up. I wanted to stay in bed and wallow in the million count sheets and relive my late night and my early morning. I swear I don't know how he does that. How does he render me unconscious and then get up whistling and head for the shower? And while he was showering I'd come to and get up and join him and we'd be right back where we started. The second time he'd do a better job, if that's possible, of leaving me a puddle of wobbly legs and satisfied goo before he went to the shower or whatever he did. I rolled to my back and gazed at the ceiling with a slight smile. I had a feeling he'd been late for work a lot since we'd moved into the house and starting taking advantage of our conjugal rights.

It had been several hours since he left for work and still my body screamed for him. He had that power over me and I can tell you that absence may make the heart grow fonder, but the more spectacular sex you have…the more you want. As a matter of fact, I was getting an itch right now just thinking about it.

I reached for the ringing phone and glanced at the caller ID before hitting the talk button with a smile. "Hello…I was just thinking about you?"

"All of me or certain parts of me?"

"Hmmm…that's a loaded question," I said lazily. "The one part is very nice, but I think I like all the parts working in conjunction."

He laughed, "Babe…"

"Are you coming home for lunch," I said in my most contrived sultry voice.

He was silent for a moment, "why do you do that? Now I have a hard on and I'm going to be holed up here in my office waiting for it to go down. That's impossible since the hard on makes me think of you naked and beautiful and now…there's nothing to be done about it."

I grinned and rolled to my stomach and opened my bedside table drawer to get out the pad of paper there, "are you coming home for lunch?"

"Where are you?"

"In the bed…where you left me," I bit my lip to keep from giggling.

"As I left you," he said gruffly.

"Hmmm…I think I'm a little more coherent now," I smiled.

"But still naked," he whispered.

"Just me and the sheets," I smiled.

"Let me check my appointments and see if anything can be moved," he groaned.

I laughed. I decided to have mercy on him and redirected his thought process. "Don't forget to call the caterer about the Saturday night party," I reminded him.

"I already did that," he said and his voice became efficient and I knew that my distraction worked.

"I'll get your tux from the cleaners this afternoon. I'm having lunch with Lula later."

"Are you sure you'll be able to find a spot? Now that she's a local celebrity she's surrounded wherever she goes."

"Good…they'll leave me alone and concentrate on her," I grinned. "What do you want for dinner tonight?"

"You," he said softly.

I laughed, "I thought I had you distracted."

"The hard on reminded me," he said with a soft chuckle.

"After I finish lunch with Lula, I'm going to see Reid. We're going to walk through the properties and figure out what to do about them. I don't really know," I sighed.

"What time are you meeting Reid?"

"At two," I sighed. "We're meeting at Joyce's house. The police and her family released it to me today. They said they had all her stuff out and the cleaners already been."

"Babe, meet me here and we'll go do that together. I do know a thing or two about real estate. It may be best to hang onto it for a while."

"Maybe," I agreed. "Okay, I'll be at your office at around 1:30."

"Good…I'll see you then."

"Make sure you're wearing pants or we'll be late to meet Reid," I giggled.

"Babe," he said softly and hung up.

I grinned. He may still need work on his phone manners, but he was definitely more loquacious. I turned to toss the pad back into the drawer and saw the envelope from Manuel sitting there. I hadn't even opened it. I should have done that at least. I pulled it out of the drawer and rolled to my back and tugged at the sticky flap, once opened I dumped the contents of the envelope on the bed. I picked up the disk and sighed and put it back into the envelope right away. There was a second envelope containing some pictures and I opened that. They were mostly wedding photos. I was laughing or smiling in most of them. Ranger was laughing or smiling back at me in all of them. As I shuffled through the photographs I knew something was off. There was something about the pictures that didn't seem quite right. I just didn't know what it was.

I shoved the pictures back into the small envelope and put it aside. I'd probably have some of those pictures blown up. I wanted to put wedding pictures out. I wanted to get one for Ranger's desk. I also thought it might be a good idea to have some for the party. Ideally we'd show the video, but if he preferred I not see it I was pretty sure he'd nix showing it at our reception. The last two things were the RSVP for our reception, he would definitely be there, and a folded piece of paper. I unfolded the paper and began to read.

_Stephanie…Chica,_

_I know that you are angry with me. There is a part of me that believes that you have every right to be angry. I haven't heard from you in a while so I know that you're still figuring things out, but you asked me to the reception so your heart is open. That's what I love about you my friend. You don't close the door, you just find a new way to prop it open. _

_While I'm in Trenton I hope we'll have time for a long talk. In the meantime, there are some things for you to think about._

_Have you ever seen Ranger drunk? Do you remember him being drunk? What kind of drunk was he?_

_Are you wearing Lula's ring? Is Ranger wearing Tank's ring? Where did those rings come from?_

_A judge just happened to be at a bar with a blank marriage license? Let's be real, that shit doesn't happen. _

_Do you love Ranger? Do you want to be married to him? Do you want the happy ever after with him that I've thought you wanted since the first time I saw you together? I think you do, so when you are done thinking about these things be very careful how you react. Some things can't be taken back Chica. _

_I love you._

_Manuel_

I frowned at the letter. Do I love Ranger? Jesus…everybody in several states, hell, in several countries knows the answer to that one. Yes, I want to be married to him or I'd have pursued any one of the many options available to me for a divorce or an annulment. Of course I want happy ever after with him. I glanced at the rest of the questions and glanced down at the gold band on my finger. I shifted uncomfortably. A memory whooshed into my head reminding me that I'd questioned that at the wedding. It fit me perfectly.

I sat up and shoved the note into the envelope and put the thing back into the drawer. I was uncomfortable with those questions and I didn't know why. A small voice in the back of my mind egged me on, 'you know why', it said. My subconscious knows. That doesn't mean that I know. Honestly, denial is the only way a girl survives in the burg.

Lunch with Lula was a grand experience. Nobody wanted her to pay for things. Either another patron or the owner of the restaurant was buying her dinner. She loved the attention. More than that, the gaudier she looked, the more they loved it. Her face and body was on billboards all over the city. Yea, in just a few weeks Lula had quite a following. I was so damn happy for her.

"So…are you pregnant yet," Lula narrowed her eyes at me.

I laughed, "Why do you ask that? We're not trying to get pregnant…you are. Are you pregnant yet?"

"Don't change the subject," she said suspiciously. "No, I'm not pregnant."

"Why are you asking me?"

"Tank says that Ranger's been late for work every day for almost two weeks. He says he keeps smiling and whistling. He says that's basically man speak for he's getting laid…a lot."

I laughed, "Well, in this instance the man speak is accurate. I don't know about the rest of the time though."

"Are you trying to get pregnant," she asked again.

"No," I grinned, "I just love having my eyes roll back in my head. I mean I friggin love it. I love it even more when his eyes roll back in his head, but that's another story for another day."

She grinned at me, "Do you ever lose consciousness?"

"At least twice a day," I sighed happily. "I wonder if that has to do with all those little concussions I've had over the years?"

We sat there quietly for a second and considered it.

"Nah," Lula shook her head, "it's the orgasms."

"They're earthquakes," I nodded and felt the tingling begin in my nether regions.

"Oh hell yea," she nodded. "I think mine register on the Richter scale."

"Oh yea," I sighed and squirmed in my seat, "they may even be planetary event altering."

She laughed, "We're talking like global warming?"

"It gets awfully hot," I groaned.

"Who knows how many endangered species we're responsible for annihilating?"

We sat there for a moment and sighed happily. Yea, we loved the regular booty. Who doesn't?

"When are you going to have a party in your new house," she said seriously.

"We're going to have Padma's baby shower there," I smiled. "Natalie and I talked about it. Didn't she call you?"

"Yea…but I was thinking more of a couple's thing," she said seriously.

"I know," I nodded. "We'll have one. We're also talking about having a big shindig there over Memorial Day as long as there's not too much shit going on," I rolled my eyes.

"Shit does go on in your life," she said shaking her head.

"Tell me about it."

"What's it like being rich," she asked.

"Well, it doesn't suck," I grinned. "I mean I hate that Dickie had to die but…"

"Honey, you already had plenty of cash with Ranger. I mean what's it like not to have to work?"

"Weird but satisfying," I admitted. "I know I'll get bored soon and want to go back to work, but for now I'm enjoying the peace."

"They miss you at the office. Tank's having a hard time getting Rodriguez satisfied with the new researcher. He keeps complaining that the girl doesn't have your 'mad' skills."

I grinned, "oh, so Rodriguez really does exist and isn't just a product of some sick Rangeman employee's imagination?"

She went off into gales of laughter, "no…Julio is real."

"You've actually met the elusive Rodriguez," I blinked at her wide eyed.

"Of course," she nodded. "You would have too if you went into the office every now and then. He was working out of the annex…where they kept the mainframe, but now he's at Haywood with everyone else."

I nodded, "Ranger hasn't mentioned how it's coming yet with the new office complex. Do you know anything?"

"I know the design is done and they're just looking for property."

"He wants the office close to our house."

"Probably so he won't be late for work anymore," she grinned.

"I wonder how the hunt for property is coming," I sighed.

She looked at me quizzically, "why don't you just ask Ranger?"

"Well," I blushed, "he comes home from work and he's easily distracted. We eat dinner, usually late…after reheating it and we're still in afterglow. As soon as it's safe to go back into the water…we're at it again. We're friggin teenagers."

She grinned, "Well, write yourself a note and ask him. Tank hasn't mentioned it. I know they already had some plans drawn up before this, but they've made extensive modifications lately. But I don't think they've found a property that suits them yet. I would think they'd move on it pretty fast if they had. It couldn't be too difficult to find a contractor in this economy."

"Amen to that," I nodded.

"Look girl, I hate to eat and run, but I have to meet Christian at the mall in about twenty minutes. We're buying more clothes. I have to keep my public satisfied."

"We haven't even had dessert," I blinked at her.

"I know…I'm just not feeling it," she shrugged.

"Okay," I nodded. "Go on and go meet Christian. I've got this."

"Are you sure," she frowned.

"Let me," I smiled. "Besides, I invited you to lunch this time."

"All right," she nodded and got to her feet. "I'll get it next time." She hugged me briefly and hurried out the door in a blaze of brilliant red spandex. One thing is for sure, she had style.

I got in the new truck Ranger had bought me and cranked up the Def Leppard. Seeing Lula always made me want to play this one song.

_Twenty-one years and you answer the call  
Hollywood screams from your bedroom wall  
You can't get away from the thrill of it all _

_Bye-bye baby  
Get me out of here I'm done  
A girl gone crazy  
You ain't foolin'anyone_

_You can't sing can't dance  
Can't fit in your pants  
You're a bad actress  
You can't run can't walk gotta learn how to talk  
You're a bad actress_

_Come on down and walk the moonlit mile  
You've got the perfect teeth  
You've got the perfect smile  
You do it all wrong but you do it in style  
Oh yeah_

_Bye-bye baby  
Get me out of here I'm done  
A girl gone crazy  
You ain't foolin'anyone_

_You can't sing can't dance  
Can't fit in your pants  
You're a bad actress  
You can't run can't walk gotta learn how to talk  
You're a bad actress_

_You can't read can't write gotta learn how to fight  
You're a bad actress  
You're too cold too old and the story's been told bout  
The bad actress_

_Aah what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?_

I pulled into the Rangeman parking garage singing loudly along with the song for the third time and grinning like an idiot as I did it. Tank was standing by the elevator when I headed that way. "Hey big guy," I grinned and hugged him.

"I hear you've been seeing Lula," he grinned.

"Yea, we had lunch together."

"I surmised that," he chuckled.

"Why do you surmise that and not just know it," I asked suspiciously.

"You pulled into the parking lot on two wheels playing _her_ song very loudly," he pointed out.

"Ah," I nodded. "So I did. I can't help it. Def Leppard makes me drive fast."

"You don't say," he grinned. "Come on up. Ranger's finishing up a meeting with some government types."

"I thought that contract was done," I frowned.

"It is…more or less," he nodded. "But they're sniffing around here trying to convince their best operative that he needs to come back into the fold."

"What floor," I raised a brow.

"Steph," he shook his head with a grin.

"What floor," I said with a glare.

"Five," he shook his head and followed me up the stairs.

I wasn't even panting when I exited the stairwell on the fifth floor. That just proves that the right cardio exercise can keep you in pretty good shape. I'd have to make sure I continued the daily workouts. I walked to the conference room door and knocked lightly before poking my head in.

"Oh I'm sorry honey," I said sweetly to my husband who looked toward the door in annoyance. "I didn't realize you were busy."

A smirk rolled onto his perfect face and he held his hand out to me, "come on in Stephanie. I'd like you to meet some people."

I strolled into the room in my rich mans wife camel pant's and silk blouse with my favorite Manolo shoes.

Ranger got to his feet and dropped his arm around my waist and leaned down to kiss me. "Stephanie, these gentlemen are with the government. They held my contract."

"Oh," I blinked in innocent amazement. "Wow, it's nice to finally put faces to some of the… Well, it's nice to meet you." I offered my hand to the men in turn.

"George, Robert…this is my wife Stephanie," Ranger smiled.

"Your wife," George said and looked at Ranger in surprise. "I wasn't aware you had gotten married Manoso."

"We were married on February 13th," I beamed at them, "in Grand Cayman on the beach."

"That's the day before Thibodeaux's wedding, isn't it?"

"You know Tank and Lula," I grinned. "Well, of course you know Tank. Yes, it was the day before. You know, we've been dancing around it for a while and we just got swept up," I blushed. "You know how it is gentlemen?"

George nodded thoughtfully.

"I'm sorry did you say Stephanie," Robert asked with a slight smile.

"Yes," I smiled. "I was Stephanie Plum."

"Of course," he said with a nod, "of course." He got to his feet and tapped George on the shoulder. "Ranger…we're sorry to have taken up so much of your time today. Keep in touch," he raised a brow at him in question.

"Of course Robert," Ranger nodded. "George, it was nice to see you."

"You too," George said and turned to me with a smile, "it was a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Manoso."

"You too sir," I smiled.

Robert offered his hand to me with a grin, "I'm happy to finally meet you Mrs.…"

"Stephanie," I said softly.

"Yes…it's nice to finally meet you Stephanie. You're right; it's nice to put a face to the name. I feel like I have known you for years."

"Oh dear," I glanced over at Ranger in accusation. "Has my husband been telling tales?"

"I assure you Stephanie, they were told with a smile," he said and headed for the door where Lester was waiting to escort them out of the building.

"You," Ranger grinned and kissed me quick and hard once they were gone, "arrived at exactly the right time."

"Did I," I raised a brow at him.

He studied my face for a moment, "Tank told you who was in here?"

"Uh-huh," I nodded.

He grinned and hugged me tight, "thank you Babe. I needed that."

I frowned against his chest. Honestly, the man was such a friggin mystery.

"Okay," he said loosening his hold and leading me out of the conference room, "let's go meet Reid."

"And you can explain to me on the way why they were here," I said.

He smiled. "And I'll explain to you on the way why they were here," he agreed.

* * *

The song **_Bad Actress_** is by Def Leppard and can be found on their latest album **Songs From the Sparkle Lounge.**


	28. Chapter 28 The Families Meet

Janet owns what is Janets and I own what is mine. Hers and mine play nicely together usually. I make nothing.

Ocean Beach Place Resort and Spa is a real place. I've used some artistic license to make it my own.

* * *

Ocean Beach Place Resort and Spa was a beautiful place. The renovations were incredible. Each room was gorgeously decorated with an amazing ocean view. There were no bad views. Ranger and I were put into the presidential suite. Our luggage was brought up by very well dressed and well mannered porters. The check in was easy and relatively painless. Everyone was preregistered, Ranger had signed all the paperwork and the payment had been made in full. All they had to do was issue a key. The staff so far had been courteous and extremely helpful.

I hung up our clothes while Ranger made some business calls, then I changed into my dress for the evening and went out on our balcony and gazed out over the extraordinary view. I could see Ranger sitting on the couch in his suit with his elbow on his knee and that hand held the phone to his ear. His other hand was in his hair and his tie was dangling waiting to be tied. He was aggravated. I knew that face. He wanted people to leave him alone. But it's hard being important. He finally shook his head and hung up the phone and returned to the bedroom to finish dressing.

I turned my gaze back to the vista before me. It was early still. The sun wouldn't set for quite a while. There was a slight chill in the breeze, but I found it to be oddly comforting. I felt alive with it. Every reaction that my body had to the temperature was a reminder that I was alive and this was all real. I liked that. It was the last weekend of March and it was cool in New Jersey. It definitely wasn't beach weather. But there was plenty to do without going for a swim. I could see a lot of people down below already on the beach. They were getting comfortable for the weekend party.

The resort was offering a normal dinner that night. The guests would order from the menu just as though they were serving normal meals instead of our special party. It was good practice for the staff. One conference room had been reserved for that night's gathering after dinner. There would be canapés and drinks available and a band would be playing. I didn't book them. Ranger did. Not everyone would arrive on Friday night; most wouldn't arrive until the next morning. For the most part on Friday it would be our families and our close friends.

I heard the doorbell and Ranger went to the door and allowed the caterers to come inside and begin setting up. He smiled and nodded and agreed to whatever they must have asked. Again, I wondered if he was the same man I'd met four years ago. But then again…was I really the same woman?

Ranger's arms closed around me, "aren't you cold?"

"No and yes," I tilted my head to smile up at him. "It's very peaceful out here."

"Yes, it is," he agreed.

"The ocean is so vast. It gives you a certain sense of reality and how unimportant you are in the grand scheme of things. You know…"

"I know," he agreed and nuzzled my head.

"Our families will be up here any minute," I smiled as his hand slid over my breast.

"I can't help it," he said tweaking the peaked nipple through my dress. "It's asking for it."

I laughed, "you're a pervert…you know that, right?"

"Hmmm…for you," he agreed and slid his hand down my stomach. "Are you ready for this?"

"Of course," I smiled.

"Babe…come on inside before my brother gets here," he said sliding his fingers over my breasts again.

I laughed and turned into his arms, "or before you get me so flustered I can't remember which is Mariella and which is Madeline and which is Marceline."

"There's that too," he smiled and kissed me softly before leading me inside. "Are you ready to deal with our families all together?"

"Do you think they'll go easy on us?"

"I don't know," he shook his head.

"Well, I have something for our parents that may take the pressure off. Well, there's something for everyone, but special somethings for our parents."

"What…are you pregnant," he raised a brow with a grin.

I met his eyebrow with my own, "yes…I'm having goldfish."

He roared with laughter and pushed me through the door. "I told you, we were skipping the fish."

"Oh right," I nodded.

The doorbell rang and together we walked to the door. We opened it to find the entire group of them outside. They had evidently run into each other at check in and were all chattering on like magpies.

"Hi," I smiled.

Ranger just seemed bemused but his hand settled in the small of my back possessively as the families came into the suite. "Stephanie, this is my brother Rafe."

"Hi, it's nice to meet you. You're a doctor," I asked.

"I am a doctor."

"Where do you practice? I haven't met you before and I am pretty sure that I've met everyone who's practiced in Trenton."

He laughed, "You haven't met them all. I'm an oncologist."

"Oh," I nodded. "Then I hope I never have to meet you in your professional capacity."

"I hope that as well. This is my daughter Rosalie and my son Joshua."

I smiled at the two teenagers, "hi, it's nice to meet you."

"You're too young to call Aunt Stephanie," Joshua said and I could see him trying to figure out just what he could get away with.

Ranger leaned forward, "I'll be watching you Josh…very, very closely."

The teenager grinned and walked away with his sister following in his stead.

"I'm sorry about that," Rafe grimaced. "He's a teenager. He's all hormones."

I laughed, "I'm thirty and I'm all hormones. I forgive him."

Rafe laughed. "You better watch out little brother, this one is going to bring your Cuban jealousies out big time."

"Going to," Ranger shook his head. "Brother, she's been driving me into fits of jealousy for four years."

I blinked at him in surprise. "You don't say?"

"I do," he smiled and kissed my head.

"Hi, I'm Celia," a woman stepped forward and hugged me. "Has Ricardo told you anything about us?"

"Well…you know him," I rolled my eyes.

"You know nothing," she laughed merrily.

I nodded and Ranger looked affronted. Still, it was true. "I do know that you're the second born," I said with a smile.

"That's right. I'm two years older than Ricardo and I'm married to this one," she pulled a man forward with blue eyes and blond hair. "This is David, my husband. We met in med school."

"It's so nice to meet you," I smiled. "What is your last name?"

"It's Jones," she rolled her eyes. "Honestly…could we be any more American? We have two children," she hauled a preteen from behind her, "this sullen lout is Duncan and David is holding Danielle."

"I'm pleased to meet you," I smiled at the children.

"I'm hungry," Danielle whined.

"Food is that way," I smiled. "Don't worry honey, Uncle Ric made sure there was plenty of food."

They wandered off and my parents were next with Ranger's parents right behind them. We did the expected hugs and commiserated over the fact that it was indeed my arch nemesis that was trying to kill me. Suddenly calling her my arch nemesis or my mortal enemy didn't seem so silly. They were even saying it. Ranger said it too, but I think he was being funny.

The triplets were next. I frowned thoughtfully and studied them before gesturing to one, "you're Madeline, you're Marceline, and you're Mariella."

They blinked in surprise and started laughing. They looked very much alike and were wearing similar clothing and they had the same hairstyle.

"How did you know," Madeline asked as we all hugged.

"Mariella has a slight green glint in her eyes," I smiled, "and Marceline has a slight grey ring in hers."

The girls shook their heads. "Now our boyfriends will know," Mariella grinned. She pulled a young man forward, "this is James. We're in med school together at Vanderbilt."

I shook hands with the tall brown haired man. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Trust me," he laughed, "the pleasure is mine. I'm going to study Mariella's eyes a little more closely now."

I laughed.

Madeline smiled, "my fiancé Ken couldn't come today. He's on rotation and couldn't get away, but I hope we'll get together soon so you can meet him."

"I hope so," I smiled.

"And this is my fiancé Jake," Marceline smiled. "He's a resident at Vanderbilt as well."

"Wow, all three of you are at Vanderbilt in medical school," I nodded completely impressed. "Was that hard to do or are you all so naturally brilliant that it was a piece of cake."

Mariella laughed, "We wanted to stay together. I think Vanderbilt thought it would be cool to graduate triplet doctors."

"It is cool," I laughed.

"Yea, it is," Marceline agreed with a smile.

Val and her family were next. Lisa reached for Ranger the minute she saw him and dived into his arms.

Ranger loved it and immediately blew raspberries into her belly. It was their favorite game when she stayed with us.

"Mom said you've got the kid's rooms finished," Val grinned. "Does that mean that Aunt Stephanie and Uncle Ricardo are available for babysitting duty?"

"It does," Ranger grinned bouncing Lisa. "But I have one request. Take it easy on us. We don't have the entire Rangeman staff on hand to give us advice anymore. So give them to us one at a time for a single day or night until we get more comfortable."

"You've got it," she grinned and tried to take her daughter from him. Lisa wasn't interested in going. As a matter of fact, she protested.

"It's okay Val," Ranger laughed. "I'll take care of the little monkey for a while. Let's join the rest of the party."

Of course when we joined the party with Ranger carrying Lisa, the speculation and conversation had to begin.

"This is a sight we'd love to see," Papa laughed. "You look very natural with a baby son."

Ranger smiled, "well, Lisa is a very easy baby. She makes it easy because she's so even tempered and well behaved."

Val laughed, "are you sure you babysat my child?"

Ranger grinned, "Well, if this one is yours…yes, I'm sure."

"Ricardo babysat," Rafe grinned.

"Yes, they babysat Lisa for us for almost a week," Albert nodded. "We went to New York. My mother was supposed to watch her, but she had to go out of town for an emergency family thing…Ricardo and Stephanie stepped right up to the plate. They did an excellent job of caring for her."

"Really," Mama smiled.

"Oh yes," Val nodded. "They realized that she was sick the first night they had her and took her to the emergency room. She had an ear infection and they took care of it right away. She was healthier when I got her back than she was before I gave her to them. They did a great job."

I smiled, "we're a good team."

"Yes, we are," Ranger agreed and leaned over to kiss me.

"So…why haven't we met you before now," Celia asked. "I mean, you've dated off and on for four years. You got married rather suddenly. It was really before we knew you were exclusively dating. Why didn't we meet Stephanie sooner, Ricardo Carlos Manoso?"

I saw Ranger wince and knew the use of his full name meant something to him. It sure as heck meant something when my parents said it. I could take the fall. I mean I was sort of dating someone else during most of that time. But my father didn't give me a chance.

He sighed heavily, "It's my fault…and Ellen's."

My mother nodded, "I was so blind." She shook her head sadly.

"Daddy…Mom," I started.

"No…let me finish," he said seriously. "You see Stephanie had been dating a local police officer and I'm afraid that Ellen and I had sort of made up our minds that he was the one she was supposed to be with. I'm afraid that we rather rebelled against the idea of her being with anyone else. Of course we didn't know Ricardo when we made these choices for her. If we had known either of the men as well as Ricardo has allowed us to know him now, it would have been no contest. Ricardo is the better man. Our daughter knew her own mind and heart and eventually she took it out of our hands. Really, in this new world…it's not really our choice." He met Ranger's father's eyes over Mom's head. The two men exchanged sighs.

"Ah so the mystery of Joe Morelli is solved," Mariella said as the children went to play in another room except for Lisa who was snuggled against Ranger's chest half asleep.

"Sort of anyway," Madeline sighed.

"What do you want to know?" I don't know why I asked. I mean, let's be real, this question could end up making me look like a complete slut. I know that I slept with less guys in my whole life than Ranger had done in the average month five or six years ago. But still…the fact that I'd slept with Joe really bothered me. I knew it hadn't been real on either of our parts.

Madeline was surprised, "really?"

"Of course," I nodded. "We're family. Let's have no secrets."

My father's eyes met mine across the room and his brow went up. I blushed. He knew I had kept a secret from him.

"Were you with this cop while you were with my brother," she asked.

"Whoa," Ranger shook his head.

I put my hand on his knee, "its okay."

"Madeline…when Stephanie was with Morelli there was nothing between us but friendship."

"But you talked about her all the time," Mariella interrupted.

"Yes…because I already knew that I had feelings for her. But Stephanie has never misrepresented herself or her feelings for me. She didn't play with my affections."

"No," Rafe raised a brow at him.

Val sighed, "She was around both you and Joe."

Ranger took a deep steadying breath. "Listen to me very carefully. This is not Stephanie's fault. She wasn't making those decisions for me. I told her that I didn't do relationships. I told her that I didn't want that kind of thing in my life. I was clear with her about it. Believe me, I was very clear."

I sat quietly and stared down at my hands.

"She was with Morelli for a while until she finally admitted to herself that it wouldn't work. She is a monogamous person. She doesn't cheat. She will never cheat on me. I'm not worried about that. Then she told me straight up how she felt about me. She told me that she was in love with me but that she'd never try to change me. She knew I couldn't or wouldn't do relationships and she was going to move on. She wanted more in life. She wanted a husband and kids and a house in the burbs. She realized that she wanted more than to be shot at and she really wanted it with me. She loves me. She meant it when she said it and she meant it when she moved on. She met a great guy. She gave it a shot. When it didn't work out, I moved in. I knew I couldn't handle it again. I knew I couldn't watch her with anyone else when I wanted her for me."

Madeline was quiet for just a moment, "I have horribly misjudged you Stephanie. We had no idea our brother was such a jerk."

I laughed, "It's all right. I was pretty much beating myself up about it too. Do you know what it's like to be in love with this guy?" I rolled my eyes toward him.

His family laughed and so did mine.

He leaned over and kissed me. "And now…that was our past and this is our future."

"Good," Celia nodded, "because I really like her. She does really cool things and she doesn't take crap. She's like my hero."

"She's Wonder Woman," he grinned at me. I could see the love and pride in his eyes.

Mama stood up, "now…no more of this seriousness. This is a celebration. We are happy about Ricardo and Estefania…yes?"

"Yes," everyone cheered.

"Then let's be happy," she laughed. "We need champagne."

The bartender laughed and started opening bottles. From then on the night became about stories of our childhoods. We'd grown up not far from each other. We had similar life experiences. Ranger was really much like me as a young man. The big change actually occurred when his hormones kicked in. This was according to his father.

"I wasn't that bad," Ranger groaned.

"You were," Rafe laughed. "You were embarrassing."

"I can't imagine it. You're so cool now," I grinned at my red faced husband. Lisa was asleep in the middle of our big bed with her cousin by marriage Danielle. Josh and Rosalie were in the room with us while Duncan and Angie played video games in the corner and Mary Alice galloped about eating her oats. It was not what I expected being with all those children.

"Trust me when I tell you that it was embarrassing," Celia laughed. "You thought you were the sexiest thing on two legs and you came on to every girl you thought was good enough for you and many that clearly weren't."

"I didn't think that," he protested with laughter.

"If it helps," I grinned up at him from where I clung to his arm in laughter, "I do think you're the sexiest thing on two legs."

"Woman, do not tease me," he growled low.

I giggled, "I'm not teasing. I do believe you're the sexiest thing on two legs or one leg or no legs…I think I already told you that."

"Yes," his face softened and he leaned over to kiss me, "you did."

"Seriously," Celia said nibbling on a piece of cheesecake. "You guys should get on that having kids thing. You're…quite honestly heading toward those years when getting pregnant becomes more difficult and you're much more likely to have multiple births."

"Oh dear Lord," I blinked.

"And it does run in the family," Mariella grinned. "I mean look around big brother. You have triplet younger sisters born when Mama was about the age Stephanie is now."

Ranger blinked.

"Our side too," my Mother said serenely. "Your father was a twin. His brother was killed in Vietnam."

I knew that. They didn't often discuss Uncle Fred, but when they did it was always his younger years and not after he and Daddy both joined the military. "I forgot," I blinked owlishly.

"This does make your whole fish, kitten, puppy plan a little bit more difficult to follow through with," Mom said thoughtfully.

"Fish, kitten, puppy plan," Celia raised a brow.

"Well," Mama said with a slight smile, "and this is your brother's plan and not Estefania's."

"Okay," Celia turned to frown at Ranger before turning her gaze back to her mother.

Mama laid out the plan and there was a moment of silence before the room was filled with laughter.

Val finally got up wiping her eyes and went to check on the kids. "I'd love to tell you that it's a good plan Ricardo, but real life doesn't much work like that. Lisa is living proof that God does as He sees fit and not as you think it should go."

"Is now the time I should tell them that I'm pregnant with goldfish," I whispered to Ranger.

He shook his head.

There was much discussion about 'the plan'. It was gone over by everyone in the room, but Ranger didn't participate. I just snuggled into him and listened to their opinions. I didn't volunteer any information including the point that it was all moot since we'd be divorcing soon anyway in all probability.

It was after midnight when they were gone and we were in bed alone. He wrapped around my body and sighed in my ear. "The plan is that bad?"

I giggled, "It's an interesting plan."

"Is it?"

"You said you wanted us to prove we could be nurturing."

"Right," he nuzzled into my neck.

"Then the fish thing is just plain weird. You can't nurture a fish."

"You keep it alive."

"I kept Rex alive. He lived to a ripe old age for a hamster."

He sighed, "You're right."

"I think you're worried that we can't stop being selfish long enough to be parents."

He sighed, "That's not it."

"Well, it's the reason I justify it in my head," I whispered.

He sighed, "Babe…"

"Go to sleep Ranger. Tomorrow will be a very, very long day."

He sighed, "Goodnight Babe."

"Goodnight," I sighed. I closed my eyes and let my mind drift. It went over tonight's events but this time it was Mariella or Madeline or Marceline who was getting married and we were the old married couple. We'd have a few children there to keep their cousins company. We'd have boys that looked like Ranger and girls that looked like Ranger. I giggled at the idea and snuggled back against him.

He groaned, "Babe…"

I just smiled. I wondered if his siblings had been as horny when they were newly married. I wondered if this attraction wore off or if we just got tired at some point. They say you shouldn't rely on sex. Of course Ranger and I had things in common. We both liked to hunt the bad guys. That was probably not a good long term commonality. We should probably take up bridge or something. I giggled again and nestled back against his chest again.

"Babe," he whispered as his hand slid over my warm belly, "you're playing with fire."

I smiled and rolled over to face him, "so burn me."

And he did.


	29. Chapter 29 The Reception & Surprises

Janet Evanovich created the main characters and the basic premise of the storyline. I created other characters, tweaked her characters, altered her storyline and let everyone play together. I appreciate her allowing me to use them and I will return them unscathed. I make nothing from this.

The last two chapters of this story are full of angst. The first several chapters of the next in my series will begin with angst. It will get better. Deb

* * *

By the time the actual reception part began the next evening our families were behaving as though they'd known each other forever. If only the Manoso's had moved into Chambersburg instead of those few burgs over, we might have grown up together. I wondered if it would have made a difference to how and when we ended up together or…if we would have.

Guest after guest came down the reception line and Ranger and I thanked them all for coming. Our parents worked the crowd on either side of us. We introduced our parents to each person and occasionally a parent would cross over to make the introductions instead. Our parents did, after all, contribute to the guest list. That's just the nature of the beast. Gifts were stacked up on the table by the door. We'd received hundreds of gifts already, I couldn't imagine more, but there were close to fifty on the table by the end of the evening. Ranger was right. We would need a house of that size to put our wedding gifts in.

Finally the last gift guest was seated and we went to our table in the front of the room and sat in the middle flanked on either side by our parents. In many ways the way the party was arranged suggested that this was a match made by those parents of ours. No one really knew the truth of how we came to be married…most of the time I'm not sure I really did.

Guests were served their choice of entrees. They'd had their choice among four entries and they could have two of them as they had predetermined. For instance Ranger was having chicken and salmon. I was having steak and lobster. The servers quickly distributed the food to the tables. The seating chart provided the caterers with quick and accurate set up and the food was on the tables in less than fifteen minutes. In the background a small string quartet played soft romantic music. Ranger and I ate and chatted with our parents and occasionally he would just take my hand and kiss my fingers or maybe he'd press his lips to my forehead. If I didn't know any better I would assume that our marriage was real and we were BOTH determined that it would last our lifetimes. I only suspected that for now.

When dinner was over Ranger got to his feet, "Stephanie and I would like to thank you all for coming tonight. We know many of you travelled for a great distance and we are extremely grateful to you for taking that voyage to share this with us. We eloped. We do regret that our families and friends weren't with us when we married. Maybe we'd have liked to do something a little more traditional. But if you know us, you know that neither of us is really all that traditional." The guests laughed and a few remarks were thrown at Ranger in good fun.

"We endured a great deal of teasing from our families last night. And we are well aware that we're set to endure more under the circumstances, but I have to say that if I had planned this night from our first meeting I don't believe I could change a thing. Well…I mean about tonight not about all the moments in between. I would change a few of those willingly. So…to all of you for being here and to Stephanie for putting up with me," he raised his glass, "salute!"

"Salute," the guests chimed with him.

"Now…I have a special gift for my bride. We've lost a lot of things this year. Actually I think Steph lost more than I did. She lost her car and her house and all the contents. She lost more than that before this least group of events changed our lives, but I'm afraid we've been focusing on that as of late. When Steph's house was destroyed she only asked me to find two things. I found one of them, but no matter how I tried I couldn't find her autographed Def Leppard CD. So…I had to do something to make up for it." He turned to me and took my hand and pulled me to my feet. "Stephanie…this is for you," he turned to the stage behind us.

The curtain opened and so did my mouth. Sitting in the middle of the stage were the members of Def Leppard with acoustic guitars and bongos.

Ranger grinned and hugged me and closed my mouth with his fingertips.

"Hello Stephanie," Joe Elliott grinned. "And hello to the Plum and Manoso family's and of course Stephanie and Ranger's friends. First, I just want to tell you that we haven't been asked to play at a wedding reception since we were…well, not to dwell on how many years ago it was but it's been a bloody long time," he grinned and our guests all laughed. "But when Ranger called and asked us to do this, we couldn't say no. He made a really good case for us to be here. So…here we are. Now, let's get this party started."

They played for more than an hour and then they mingled with the guests as more music played in the background. They gave me a complete discography and video collection and they were all autographed. I was in heaven. I even danced with all of them, but Ranger did watch closely. Joe Elliott, flirt that he was, played with it. I laughed it up. Joe was married and quite happily. His wife Christine was even at our party and danced with Ranger. It was fun.

The Def Leppard guys eventually left us telling us that they had to get back to their tour. The lights lowered and Tank took center stage.

"Hello everyone," he said and immediately he had their attention. It's hard to ignore a brick wall…especially when it's talking to you. "For those of you who don't know me, I'm Tank. My parents named me Pierre Jean Luc Thibodeaux, but when I went to Ranger's school…this guy," he gestured toward Ranger, "named me Tank. I was nineteen and still pretty much dumb as a box of rocks. Ranger…Ric was far more street smart. He was also more driven. Hell, he's just smarter than I am period. He took care of me and saved my life more times than I can count and I'd like to think I did the same for him on a few occasions. He's my best friend.

"The first few times I saw Stephanie I didn't say anything to her at all," he admitted. "You see men who do what we've done aren't that talkative. If you look around this room you'll see quite a few of us here. We're comrades…brothers and friends. We have each other's backs because we understand one another.

"We didn't believe that there were women out there who would also understand us. We were wrong. Stephanie not only understands us, she loves us. She opened her heart and her mind to us and showed us that anything was possible for us even though we'd seen horror. Even though we'd lived horror, she convinced us that we deserved a happy life. She's made it her personal mission to make each and every one of us believe that we deserve more. And many…most of us not only moved on to fulfill that, but are doing our best to pass her message along. She is our comrade, our sister and our friend.

"I watched Ric with Stephanie and I knew pretty early on that this girl was something special. I realized that he knew that she was something special as well. I don't think it took him nearly as long to admit to himself that he loved her as it took her to realize that she loved him back. She's the self proclaimed queen of denial," he grinned and everyone laughed, including me. "I think Ric was hooked by her audacity first and maybe the way she just fills the room when she enters it. Ric met his match. They are both larger than life."

He paused for a moment, "I am certain of only a few things in this life. There is a God in heaven." Amen echoed throughout the room. "I love my wife and will stay married to her till they plant me." Lula whooped from their table and the other guests laughed. "My parents will support whatever decisions I make. And…that Ranger and Stephanie will be my friends till I take my last breath and they will love each other at least that long." He raised his glass, "salute!"

"Salute," echoed through the hall.

"Now how about some cake," he said gleefully.

We cut the cake and pictures were made. I'd made sure the photo albums of our actual wedding were given to our parents with the cake. They were tearful and grateful to have a recorded memory of that day.

Then the music started again and Ranger reached for my hand and pulled me to the dance floor as the strains of a forties ballad came through the speakers with sultry mournful sound.

_At last, my love has come along,  
My lonely days are over,  
And life is like a song,_

_Ohhh at last  
The stars above are blue  
My heart was wrapped up in clover,  
The night I looked at you_

_I found a dream that I could speak to,  
A dream that I, can call my own,  
I found a thrill, to press my cheek to,  
A thrill that I, have never known,_

_Ohhh you smile, you smile  
And then the spell was cast  
And here we are in heaven,  
for you are mine, at last!_

We danced to the haunting melody close together and alone in the middle of the floor. I was tight against him and I could feel his breath on me. And when the song ended, he dipped me.

Other people joined us after that and we danced along for a while to other eighties songs. The music seemed to be picked with me in mind more than Ranger. Of course, he'd probably done the picking. Only while we were eating did his taste really show. The strings reflected his peaceful taste in music. The rest of the music was my taste featuring mostly 'hair bands' from the eighties with a little bit of everything else mixed in. It was lovely for me. If it wasn't my reception, I'd have probably been singing along most of the night.

I suppose both of us were lulled into a false sense of security. Things were going so well. Nothing could go wrong. Every detail of the party had been planned. Once again as I danced with him I had to wonder who it was that I married. He was truly a renaissance man.

Then with no warning at all, a screen came sliding down from the top of the stage and the lights dimmed and there it was. The video that Ranger didn't want me to see was there for everyone at our reception to see. The wedding that had been captured by my friend Manuel was there before us. The dark beach looked exotic and romantic. My pale blue dress was pretty. Ranger was gorgeous in his linen shirt and dark jacket and slacks. If you didn't know that we'd just been to Lula and Tank's rehearsal dinner, you'd think we had been prepared for the wedding that was taking place.

I was giggling and happy and grinning up at him with the most idiotic look on my face. The look on my face screamed how much I loved him. The look on my face left no doubt in anyone's mind that I wanted to marry him. And he was smiling at me and leaning down to kiss me over and over again. I couldn't stop the grin from coming over my face. It was nice. We looked happy. We exchanged the vows exactly as we meant them. I told him that I loved him and he was my best friend and he returned the words to me. He looked so sincere.

But…something wasn't right. I realized that pretty quickly, I just couldn't put my finger on what was wrong. To me, it was clear that I was drunk. I doubt the Manoso's had a clue that their new daughter-in-law was completely lit as she exchanged vows with their son. If you didn't know me, you probably wouldn't realize that I was even the slightest bit drunk. I just seemed happy.

But…my father knew. Of course, I had told him. My friends knew. But something still wasn't right.

When it came time for the rings, Ranger slid the rings out of his pocket and handed them to the judge. I frowned when I saw that. They weren't Tank and Lula's rings. Their rings were…are platinum and ours are gold. Where did the rings come from? I frowned up at the screen thoughtfully. Something didn't fit. I suppose that could be part of Manuel's plan, but it didn't seem like it. He could have bought rings for us, but how did he know our sizes so perfectly. No one guesses that close to right. I tilted my head and frowned up at the screen. And there it was.

I think Ranger knew the moment I'd figured it out. He felt me stiffen in his arms and he knew. He knew that I knew. He was sober. I had been drunk off my ass, but he was completely sober.

I'd spent much of that cruise tending to him or coddling him when he'd been out drinking with my father and come back drunk and unfit for conversation. He was barely coherent when he was drunk. It was one of the few things he didn't do well. I suppose if your body is a temple, you don't have that much practice at being falling down drunk. I however could almost walk a straight line when I was tanked. But Ranger…he couldn't do that. He wasn't drunk. He wasn't even tipsy. He was sober. He was stone cold sober.

I swallowed and made myself watch the rest of the video. There I was a drunken mess and there was Ranger happy and sober and oh so very friggin careful. He married me knowing exactly what he was doing. I thought it was a big joke, but he knew better. He had to know better. He wasn't drunk at all. He had to have had a hand in the planning of what just happened. There was too much coincidence for it not to be that way. He knew. He played me.

I met my father's eyes across the room and his eyes had a hint of sadness in them. He knew that Ranger hadn't been drunk that night. That's why he kept asking that question. I just shook my head at him and fought the tears. I didn't want to break down in front of this room full of family and friends.

I don't know that I ever felt so betrayed in my life. He knew what was happening. He'd known the next morning and had continued to play the scene out. He'd talked to me about divorce knowing that I didn't want it. He couldn't have ever wanted it himself or he wouldn't have married me. Why would he do that? He acted as surprised as I was, but he wasn't. He knew.

As soon as the video ended the screen was pulled up and the lights went back on. The guests erupted into applause. They were happy that they had gotten to see the wedding after all.

I met Lula and Natalie's eyes and knew they had come to the same realization that I had. I was drunk. He was sober. Of course, only Natalie knew the rest of the story. Tears slid down her cheek at the look on my face.

I straightened my expression and forced a smile onto my face. I wasn't going to break here in front of everyone. I wasn't going to do this. I made my feet move forward. I exchanged a few pleasantries and accepted a few kisses on my cheek before making a beeline to my father and his waiting comforting arms. I saw Manuel over his shoulder and shook my head at him. I'm sure that he thought he was doing the right thing. I just wasn't sure what the right thing was at that moment. I know that Manuel loves me. I know he's my friend. I know that he felt he was doing the right thing for me by showing that video. It may take a while to sort out the whys, but I know that deep in my heart. He's my friend.

Eventually the party died down and the party goers began to disperse to their rooms. Eventually only my father, Manuel, Tank, Lula, Christian, Natalie, and Cal were left in the room with us. Lula didn't know the entire story, but she'd seen the video and I had a feeling that she had put the pieces together. And from the way she was looking at Ranger, I'd say she was furious.

Ranger straightened his shoulders and turned to me, "Babe…I can explain."

I nodded, "save it. You've had six weeks to explain it to me. I'm not sure that I really want to hear it. I am definitely sure that I don't want to hear it now."

"Babe," he whispered.

"I mean it Ranger," I whispered.

He swallowed and his jaw began to work.

I didn't say anything else to anyone. I just turned and walked out of the room and straight to the elevator. By the time Ranger arrived upstairs I was gone. I'd packed up and left the hotel with Christian. The Goodman men were really good at rescuing me when I was emotionally kaput.

I cried the entire ride back to Trenton with my eyes staring unseeing out the window. When we got to my house I told Christian that I needed to be alone and I went into the house and packed another bag and got in to my car and started to drive. I didn't know where I was going, but I wasn't leaving Trenton this time. I would do what Dr. Addison suggested and call him.

I found myself in front of the house that Dickie and I had once lived in. I parked in the garage and went inside. The For Sale sign in the yard wasn't generating a lot of activity. I thought I'd probably need to call Reid and have him take it off the market. I'd be staying there for a while.

I found the sheets and made the bed and climbed between the sheets and lay on my back staring at the ceiling. My cell phone began vibrating seconds after that. I glanced at the caller ID and shook my head. The time for talk had passed. Another time for it may come, but for now…there was nothing to say.

As I lay there I realized that I'd come full circle. I was back where I thought my happy ever after was supposed to have begun in the first place. I was in mine and Dickie's first marriage bed. Life is so friggin ironic.

The phone buzzed again and this time I answered it. "Hello."

"Sweetheart, where are you?"

"I'm in Trenton."

"Where in Trenton," he asked.

"Brian…"

"I just want to see you."

"Are you in Trenton?"

"Yea, I received an invitation to your reception…remember?"

"Oh," I sighed.

"I just didn't have the heart to go."

"It's okay Brian. It turned out to be over rated."

"Baby…where are you?"

"I'm not good company right now."

"Don't you just need someone to hold on to," he said quietly.

"Yes," I whispered.

"Then let it be me before Morelli starts sniffing around. You can trust me Steph. I won't push this beyond friendship."

I swallowed. Ranger would be pissed if he knew that Brian was with me. But then…he hadn't given me a lot of options, why should I give them to him. "I'm on Sycamore. It's about four blocks from my parent's house."

"Is that where you and Dickie used to live," he said and sounded surprised.

"Yea," I shook off the rising hysteria.

"What's the house number?"

"It's 933," I sighed.

"I'll be there in twenty."

"Okay," I nodded forgetting he couldn't see me and hung up. I left the phone on. I left the GPS on the truck on. I knew that Ranger would and could find me. I just didn't care.

Twenty minutes later I opened the front door to Brian and fell into his arms sobbing uncontrollably. The man I loved beyond reason had betrayed me. The man who loved me without question held me and comforted me. If only I could change my feelings around.

I had lived my life for if only.


	30. Chapter 30 Facing Facts

Thanks to Janet Evanovich for the loan of her characters and basic premise. I am still playing with them, but they will be returned unharmed. The characters you don't recognize and some that you do belong to me. I created them specifically to play with Janet's characters. They're aware of Janet's characters value and will behave accordingly. I make nothing.

A special thanks to those of you who have taken time to read this story and the rest of my series. I've enjoyed watching the characters develop into grownups. They'll continue through the series. I hope you enjoy the ride.

The angst in this ending will continue to the beginning of the next story. But soon after, we have smooth (for Stephanie) sailing. Thank you again.

* * *

As I cried on Brian, I babbled. I hope that Christian had told him the whole story, because as it was I am pretty sure that I was unintelligible and he couldn't have possibly figured out what was going on by listening to me and my explanation of the events.

He made a run to the all night grocery and returned to make me tea. He didn't force me to talk. He didn't ask me questions. He just let me cry and held me to him and brushed my curls back. Why couldn't I be in love with him? He was the perfect man…aside from that whole homicidal manic for a mother thing. I sighed.

Eventually I cried myself out and fell into an uneasy sleep. Brian carried me up to the bedroom and put me to bed and lay down beside me still fully clothed on top of the covers. He grabbed the throw from the bottom of the bed and covered himself and fell asleep.

I felt Ranger in the room before I was fully awake. I felt him and for a brief second I forgot and I started to smile. Then I remembered. That infernal tingle on the back of my neck that alerted me to his presence let me know he was there even though I slept fitfully. I should have known that the fact that a _tingle_ let me know he was there was not a good thing. I got tingles to alert me to danger. Ranger was, in fact, the biggest danger I'd ever faced. I'd lost my heart to him. I wonder if I'd stayed with him how much more I'd have lost.

I didn't want to open my eyes. I didn't want to deal with him at all. I didn't even know why I should have to deal with him. I mean he'd had plenty of time to get his alibi straight. Who knows what lies he had for me now? Who knows where this conversation would go if I participated? I wasn't sure that I was strong enough to deal with him. On the other hand, I had a feeling he wouldn't leave unless I did.

I knew he knew I was awake, but he didn't say anything. I sighed and opened my eyes and got out of the bed and walked out of the room and he followed me. I never even looked at him. He didn't say a word. He wasn't that talkative and I could feel the tension rolling off of him. I wondered if his parents knew what was going on. I also wondered what my father had to say to him. I suspected it wasn't pretty. I know that whatever Lula had been going to say to him before I left was going to be bad. I have to say, there's a small part of me that was sorry to have missed it. That was the video I was dying to see. I went down stairs and sat down in the chair that I'd bought all those years ago for Dickie and I and our first house and I waited. I waited for him to start talking. God knows I wasn't going to initiate the conversation.

He paced. He paced and occasionally he'd stop and look at me and then he'd pace again. I never looked at him. I didn't want him to see how much damage he'd done. I felt as though he'd used my feelings for him to get something from me. To be honest, I wasn't even sure what he had gotten. If he needed a cover for something, he could have just asked. Whatever it was, he sure wasn't willing to discuss it with me.

Brian came downstairs while Ranger was pacing and stopped at the bottom stair. I looked over at him and he sighed. He shook his head at me. I know he was asking me if I wanted him to get rid of him. There was no point in that. I didn't need them to come to blows. I wasn't sure my mental health could take it and I don't know who I'd be cheering for at this point.

Ranger stopped pacing and turned to glare at Brian.

"Don't blame me for your fuck up," Brian said softly. "I'm just here to pick up the pieces."

Ranger swallowed but didn't say anything.

"It's okay Brian," I finally managed to say.

"Sweetheart," he sighed.

"He won't physically hurt me," I said softly. "It's okay. I can handle this."

He sighed. He stood there for a few more minutes then grabbed his coat and his keys and headed for the door. "Call me if you need me."

"Thank you," I said softly.

"Anytime," he said with a smile. "I love you." He left closing the door quietly behind him.

Ranger turned to glare at me, "you called him?"

I didn't want to dignify that with an answer, but I also didn't want to stoop to his level. I was the innocent party in this thing. It was going to stay that way. "I did not. Christian brought me home. He probably called Brian. Brian was here to attend our reception but couldn't bring himself to go. I don't remember sending him an invitation."

"I did," he sighed and ran his hand through his hair tiredly. "I thought you'd want him there."

"I would have, but I didn't put him on the list for your sake."

He nodded. "What do you want me to say?"

"The truth would be nice," I said quietly.

"Whose version of the truth do you want?"

"There's only one version of the truth. I know my truth and it turned out to be a big lie."

"It's wasn't all a lie."

"Enough of it was that I know I was deceived and betrayed."

He sighed.

"So tell me Ranger…what is your truth?"

He started pacing again. "You had commitment issues."

"If I had commitment issues, then wasn't that my truth and not yours. Besides…I had commitment issues. That's past tense."

"You had them."

"I got over them," I reminded him.

He swallowed, "I wasn't sure."

"You weren't sure," I blinked at him. "You're fucking kidding me?"

"Babe," he shook his head.

"What more could I have done to convince you," I glared at him. "You're full of shit."

"I wasn't sure," He repeated.

"Ranger…I friggin told you that I was in love with you," I reminded him tiredly. "I told you that I wanted marriage and babies and the white picket fence and the whole nine friggin burg yards. That's pretty much being over the commitment issues."

"Is it?"

"I also told you that I realized that you weren't ready for what I was ready for and I didn't want to push you and end up being my mother or Joe. I told you that. I gave you the entire truth and you said… Do you even know what you said?"

"Babe…"

"Yes, you said that. You also said 'oh God'," I sighed.

"You were with Brian," he glared.

"I didn't have to be with Brian. Brian knew how I felt and wanted me anyway. We talked about it. But when I told you how I felt…you said 'oh God'."

"Babe," he growled.

"I said that I was in love with you," I said tiredly, "and you didn't return the favor." I was quiet for a few moments waiting him to fill the space with words. I waited for words that never came….again. I sighed. I felt suddenly very drained and very empty. "What do you want me to do Ranger?"

He was quiet.

I started to get a little bit angry when he still didn't offer me any real explanation or anything else for that matter. "Do you want me to give everything to you and get nothing in return? Oh sure, you rescue me. You buy me big pretty houses. You make sure that I have great orgasms. But you deny me the words Ranger. You deny me the only thing I really need."

"You need the orgasms," he said with a slight smile.

"I need the words more," I said and put my head down. Even the sex wasn't enough to make me want more from him at that moment. There was nothing he could do. The only way to fix this was with words. He needed to man up.

"Babe," he sighed.

"You took away my chance to be proposed to by the only man I wanted to be proposed to by. You took away my right to have my family and your family at our wedding. You took it all away because you don't want to say the words. You can't say the words."

"I can say the words," he glared at me.

"Can you," I said softly.

"I can," he spat.

I waited. I waited for him to say the words that he declared so boldly that he could say, but they didn't come. They never came. He was silent. He could say them. He couldn't say them to me. I sank back in the chair defeated. I sat there for a few more minutes before I got to my feet, "then there's really nothing left to say."

"Babe…"

"My name is Stephanie. I suggest you start using it when you wish to get my attention or say anything to me. You just lost the right to call me anything else." I walked up the stairs and left him in the living room. If he can say the words, he should have said them. If he couldn't say them to me, then he didn't feel them for me. It was one or the other. It was time I faced facts. I could love him till my dying day. But if he couldn't love me back, the whole thing was pointless and eventually I'd fade away. I needed to love and be loved.

I needed the words.

Fin

* * *

Coming soon is a wild roller coaster ride filled with food, friends and feelings. Tasty Twenty-One brings back Mike Stone originally introduced in Nautical Nineteen. Mike is a friend of Ranger's back from his Army days in Afghanistan. He owns a local restaurant called Unit. His restaurant needs help, his menu needs help, and he needs help. Can Ranger help him? Will Stephanie lend a hand? Will Ranger man up? Stay tuned and find out. Coming to a Fanfiction site near you. hahahaha

Give me a week or so. Thank you to everyone.

Deborah


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